My House - At the end of a busy day, around 11:00pm on a Friday evening, this writer found the alone time he needed to finally get some work done. Thanks to a disagreement over a questionable financial decision involving the purchase of one Harley-Davidson motorcycle (which, it is worth mentioning, should only grow in value if well-maintained - a task I feel entirely capable of managing), my wif...
The Vatican -- Today the Lamb of God, held in various sacred halls by the catholic church for over a millennium and long-presumed to be in a vegetative state, surprised priests and bishops alike when it suddenly came to its feet, took a long look ar...
Chester, PA. (WTFM) -- Early this morning, while digging a shallow grave intended to be the final resting place for his latest victim, serial killer Derek Flatt uncovered a shallow grave containing a victim of serial killer, Justin Crabwell. Crabwe...
In a bombshell report first issued just days after the 2016 election and re-emerging today, it looks like Donald J. Trump's presidency is coming to an end. "I've been saying it for two years straight," said several news pundits who have been predi...
NYC -- 36 year-old Benjamin Kowalski of Newark, New Jersey, has struggled for more than 15 years to find success telling jokes on-stage. Born into a family of strict orthodox Jews, it was always assumed he was headed for medical or law school. But...
BOSTON, MA, CHRISTMAS DAY -- Archibald C. Reilly III, born to a wealthy North Carolina family of tobacco barons in 1932, has spent his eighty-six years on this Earth with the single-minded purpose of accruing a vast amount of wealth. Through a long s...
Paris -- During the latest Paris Climate Accord convention, few countries escaped the scathing criticism of environmentalists seeking to quell the effect fossil fuels are having on Earth's climate, but one continent in particular -- the North Pole --...
Columbia Pictures and Amblin Entertainment are banking on a new, controversial technology for their latest film release, Men in Black: International. The much-anticipated fourth installment in the blockbuster franchise features a fresh A-list cast,...
WASHINGTON - In a monumental failing of the U.S. Department of Robotics, twelve androids known by insiders as units "XJ1 through XJ12" have been dismantled following an embarrassing episode involving Colombian prostitutes. The unfortunate mishap...
Earlier this week, former democratic lobbyist Hillary Rosen accused Ann Romney, wife of current GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney, of having "never worked a day in her life." Clearly incensed, Ann Romney took to a podium on her husband's campai...
Sanford, FL - In a bombshell press conference yesterday, defense attorneys Hal Uhrig and Craig Sonner revealed to the press that their former client, George Zimmerman, had spoken with Fox News commentator Sean Hannity. That same evening, Hannity too...
SANFORD, FL - Voice analysis experts examining audio evidence in the Trayvon Martin case have determined that the voice heard yelling for "help" in the 911 calls likely belonged to Trayvon Martin, and not George Zimmerman. In response, Sanford Polic...
In an interview with ESPN's Michael Breen Saturday, Jeremy Lin's left knee announced its decision to suspend any and all rigorous physical activity on the part of its host in an attempt to "put some chill on all the 'Linsanity' bullshit." "Seriou...
BREAKING (WTFM) - In the single most tasteless attempt at a joke fate could muster, your mother has died on April Fool's Day. You receive the call from your sister around 3:00 AM - a particularly sadistic time because of the fact that you have to...
CHESTER, Pa. (WTFM) --- It was a hot, summer afternoon in mid-August, 1962, when a twelve-year-old Robert Tiller and his younger brother, Pete, decided they would bury a jar of pennies in their backyard. Two years later, they decided to dig it...
Baltimore, MD - Despite six days of careful planning, Janet McNary learned Wednesday that she will not be receiving a lottery jackpot of over two-hundred million dollars. The 34-year-old McNary, a housewife from the suburbs of Maryland, had meticulo...
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