Alan Greenspan took a quick break Wednesday from his extremely boring job as Chairman of the Federal Reserve to celebrate his 143rd birthday with his family and co-workers. Greenspan, who was born the year Abraham Lincoln became president, gave brie...
The Bush Administration plans to announce this week that the legendary motorcycle gang, Hells Angels, will be taking over the struggling war on terrorism.
Howard Dean, the former governor of Vermont and embarrassing Democratic candidate for president, recently opened the Howard Dean Primal Scream Therapy Clinic in Burlington, Vt. The man who actually thought he had a chance at president found himself...
In a surprise announcement today, former first lady Nancy Reagan announced her summer plans to marry Rick Allen, the one-armed drummer from the annoying band Def Leppard. Reagan and Allen met five years ago when Nancy showed up at a Def Leppard conc...
In a bold move this week, America's lovable loser, the Reverend Al Sharpton, officially kicked-off his 2008 campaign for President. Sharpton, who has been preaching since the age of three and running for president since the age of four, dropped out...
In response to the wildly popular Michael Moore documentary, Farenheit 9/11, President George Bush today proposed a new law which would make it a felony offense to hate him.
Dr. Stan Geldefson, the top doctor in Smackeyville, Iowa, announced this week that smoking is "okay, I guess."...
After years of making children laugh and crave sweets before breakfast, Cookie Monster is set to be killed off Sesame Street, an insider source reports. The lovable blue monster will meet his demise by the end of the summer season in a two-fold effo...
According to himself, writer Kevin Heitz of Baltimore is annoyed and suffering from an acute headache today because of the increased security measures at airports and train stations around the country. “This extra security stuff kinda sucks,” Heitz said this morning while clipping nose hairs. “I think that’s why I have this headache,” I added.
This year the nation is focused on one of the tightest races in history. The question on everyone's mind is not Kerry or Bush, but rather Baltimore or Detroit? Which city will take back the coveted homicide title that has eluded them in recent year...
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