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Funny story: Career Criminal Caught

Career Criminal Caught

In a triumph for justice, a 56-year-old theft was finally solved today, and the perpetrator brought to book. Eddie Gleeson, 97, of Middlesbrough, was arrested after a successful police sting outside the city's central library yesterday. Criminal…

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Funny story: Sexy Time For Parliament

Sexy Time For Parliament

Prime Minister Boris Johnson and a gaggle of other likeminded MPs have today completed phase one (of 74) in a series of “sexual Harassment In The Workplace” seminars. Johnson himself was rather excited by the whole event claiming: "The totty runni…

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Funny story: Ole Ole Ole

Ole Ole Ole

After Manchester United were sensationally dumped out of Europe by Seville, Reds manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has had to quell rumours of discontent and rumblings of dissent in his ranks. Ole has been lauded for guiding the Red Devils into fourth…

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Funny story: The Duke of Umbridge

The Duke of Umbridge

Prince William has said “we must crack homelessness,” as he launched a new drive aimed at reducing homelessness today. We at Back and to the Left news believe that we saw how to solve homelessness by doing what the Government did during lockdown, and…

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Funny story: The Sword Of A Thousand Cuts

The Sword Of A Thousand Cuts

UK Chancellor, Rishi Sunak, has admitted that there will be “tough choices” to be made over public financing. This coupled with the last ten years of austerity should be music to the ears of those in Northern England who voted to put these cunts in p…

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Funny story: Volunteer For The Vaccine

Volunteer For The Vaccine

Prominent scientists have called for volunteers to be purposely infected with Covid-19 in an attempt to speed up the search for a vaccine. This has caused an outcry from many leading Conservative politicians who have pointed out that their hopeless h…

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Funny story: Trust Truss On Yemen

Trust Truss On Yemen

The UK has made the heart-wrenching decision to resume selling weapons to Saudi Arabia despite knowing full fucking well that they will be used on frightened civilians huddling in refugee camps. This is despite, mere weeks ago, Dominic Raab telling t…

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Funny story: The SPL and Aberdeen

The SPL and Aberdeen

With Covid-19 slowing its murderous dance across the world, sports are beginning to start up again, albeit with no spectators. Every sport has been affected in its own unique way: rugby teams, for example, have had to cut down on throwing dwarves aro...

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Funny story: Grayling The Chair

Grayling The Chair

Chris Grayling is to be appointed as the new Chair of the Intelligence Committee as the UK government goes through another restructuring. But for those lefty commentators rubbing their hands in glee at this clear own goal from Boris Johnson, things m...

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Funny story: White Alliance who Never Kneel and Enjoy Repairing Statues

White Alliance who Never Kneel and Enjoy Repairing Statues

Today marks the passing of one of Britain’s most loved wartime singers, Dame Vera Lynn, at the age of 103, which is mightily fucking impressive. Dame Lynn’s music became synonymous with the struggles of a nation sheltering in bunkers from bombers eve...

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Funny story: Face Lift In The Sun Lit Up Lands

Face Lift In The Sun Lit Up Lands

Local billionaire and enthusiastic paper aeroplane make, Harold Diggleby-brough, has laid the gauntlet down to the people of his local village. Mr Diggleby-brough believes that the people of Silsby Tweed are amongst the ugliest in the country, and wa...

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Funny story: Yoga: The Eternal Struggle

Yoga: The Eternal Struggle

Experts have admitted that regular yoga classes can improve people’s health and mental wellbeing, with thousands of drooling perverts enthusiastically agreeing. Mike Roman, 47, from Chesum Under Pie, said: "I totally agree with the results of this...

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Funny story: The Most Presidential Of Drugs

The Most Presidential Of Drugs

Presidential Womble and all round flappy-handed lunatic, Donald Trump, has admitted he is taking hydroxychloroquine in an attempt to fight off Coronavirus. Having been informed by multiple health officials that “this shit does not work”, the Trumpste...

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Funny story: Reopen Your Hearts

Reopen Your Hearts

Professional liar and part time politician, Michael Gove, has stated that “schools are perfectly safe to reopen”, then immediately said “the only way to be safe from the virus is to stay at home”. Which is going to be difficult if the government are...

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Funny story: A Pack Of Camels

A Pack Of Camels

Scandal erupted across the nation today as two camels were born at Yorkshire Wildlife Park, flying in the face of hardworking Brexiteers and patriots who made their way back to work today, showing all the shirkers and looney left how it’s done! Th...

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Funny story: The Clearest Message

The Clearest Message

Communities Secretary, Robert Jenrick, (nope not a clue either), has defended the government's slightly changed Coronavirus message, saying: "It couldn’t be clearer if it was a clear glass of smooth, sparkling Somerset water. "Moving on from th...

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Funny story: Clap Or Die

Clap Or Die

As the “Clap For Carers” movement gathers pace around the country, many hardcore Brexiteers are worried that it doesn’t go far enough, and are calling on the government to step in and enforce it on those who aren't joining in. Every Thursday even...

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