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Spoof stories written by Alex99

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Funny story: Spoof! Attacked by Murdoch Bullies

Spoof! Attacked by Murdoch Bullies

Following the blanket attacks by Spoof! writers on the Murdochs Evil Empire, this reporter can reveal that the Lowton brothers were put under intense pressure by one of the bullies who work for the Muckdocs. Benjamin Lowton, currently in a Somali jail, actually no he has joined the Somali pirates-sorry, our mistake- was phoned up and someone offered to pay his ransom money. He replied that he w...

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Funny story: I'm Coming To Get You! Says Mystery Blonde

I'm Coming To Get You! Says Mystery Blonde

A while back some guy in Japan wrote a story about a man who was picked at random to be famous for absolutely no reason. Just to be famous for existing on earth. And guess what happened to him? He was featured on bill boards, televison and radio a...

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Funny story: Another Day

Another Day

Today I was sitting my computer when all of a sudden a fish came flying in through the window. I live on the 134th floor of a skyscraper and I went to my window to see where the fish had come from. I then got a call asking if the fish was okay and I replied that I thought it was. The phone went dead and as I went to the balcony I felt a blinding flash and saw stars. The phone rang again, and th...

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Funny story: Man Murders Wife's Virtual Guy

Man Murders Wife's Virtual Guy

Mr Ohashi Shindo was arrested last night for murdering his wife's virtual boyfriend whom she had created at the dating website, returntothebattleforbloodroyalesothatwecannolongerloveyou.web Ms Haruka Shindo created her perfect man and called him A...

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Funny story: If I had been a cat, then I could have been a dog

If I had been a cat, then I could have been a dog

Last night former Prime Minister and First Lord of the Treasury (World Bank, hint hint!) Gordon Brown said that he would still be Prime Minister if the News of the Swirling Wurlitzer revelations had occurred 18 months earlier. His reasoning was that Andy Coulson would have been arrested and David Cameron would have been fatally damaged by the publicity surrounding the arrest of his Director of Com...

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Funny story: Information of the Bank is Dollar?

Information of the Bank is Dollar?

This woman doesn't get it.She actually replied to the silly nonsense I emailed to her and you will note that her English has dramatically improved. One can only surmise that there is a scamster hierarchy out here in cyberspace. My English has worsened as you will see from the replies to my darlinguest fan. And mimicking is always a sign of true and eternal love. I doubt that Standard Charted will...

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Funny story: Help Me I Am In An Alien Spacecraft!

Help Me I Am In An Alien Spacecraft!

In one of her last acts before she was kidnapped by aliens and transported to The Newly Improved North Korea, Rebekaah Brooks fired all 23,453 journalists and staff at the News of the Sophist's Wurlitzer, in an ultimately vain, venal and in some case...

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Funny story: How To Avoid Being Jammed

How To Avoid Being Jammed

Dear SK, Regarding you request to avoid jam jars being thrown at you by your wife, perhaps you could reflect and ask yourself whether you deserved it not or not. Six years I was woken up at 645am by a lamp being smashed over my head by my girlfriend. I really saw stars but I did deserve it because I texted a previous girlfriend about getting back together and the previous girlfriend forward...

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Funny story: When Seeing Is Not Believing

When Seeing Is Not Believing

I will be the first to admit that working for The Spoof! brings out my sociopathic tendencies. It's Tuesday and it's a quiet sunny day at our office in Hong Kong.I have read various news sites and nothing has caught my fancy. I was also in a bad mood because my recent story about Kim's death was not selling and was in danger of being overtaken by the silly nonsense I had written about Nancy Paulso...

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Funny story: Last Emperor Kim Says He Is Alive

Last Emperor Kim Says He Is Alive

Last Emperor Kim Jong Ill issued a statement last night that he was alive and had in fact survived the attack on him last night during a songs of praise broadcast. Police are puzzled as to who Larry Chukwuemeka actually killed in the massacre.

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Funny story: Rebekaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Brooks Missing

Rebekaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Brooks Missing

The News of the World CEO, Ms Rebekaaaaaaah Brooks has been gone missing and is believed to have been kidnapped by aliens who then flew that woman to North Korea. Kim Jong Ill likes kidnapping people and after reading about Rebekaaaah in the UK he...

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Funny story: The Spoof! Now A Crime In Progress

The Spoof! Now A Crime In Progress

Police from the London Met shut down The Spoof! and declared it a crime scene or to be a more exact the scene of a crime in progress. The police received the following tip off from spoofter Alex99 who wrote an email to them in which he described h...

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Funny story: Gives Us Yours Moneys Darlinglys

Gives Us Yours Moneys Darlinglys

Well, Nancy does not seem too bothered by having a prisoner as her true love. Amazingly her grammar improved dramatically when it came to the money shot. And I am left with a dilemma-shall I contact Standard Chartered in London or not? I now understand why Kim Jong Ill replied to Larry Chukwuemeka and why Bernard Bernanke responded to Damani Maru and why Greece is so bankrupt right now. Here...

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Funny story: Some Kind of Reply to Nancy Paulson

Some Kind of Reply to Nancy Paulson

Well, I am a bit tardy in replying to my fan mail. As promised to my readers this is my reply to Nancy Paulsons ,'Me Love You Thong Time' email. You will note that I have included a Russian email address in the hope that the Nigerian scamsters will rip off the Russian mob and start an international turf war. You never know and can always live in hope. I will of course publish Nancy's reply because...

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Funny story: German Neo Nazi's Ditch Skin Head Look by Wearing Burkas Instead

German Neo Nazi's Ditch Skin Head Look by Wearing Burkas Instead

In an effort to blend in mainstream society German Nazis are switching to burkhas. The new Nazi uniform is pink and purple and it was chosen via a secret straw poll in a Berlin shopping centre.'I think that we look beautiful,' said Adolph Goebbels...

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Funny story: Kim Jong Ill Assassinated At Long Last!

Kim Jong Ill Assassinated At Long Last!

Fifty rabbits were slaughtered at the church of satan led by Magus Last Emperor Kim Jong Ill during the BBC's first ever Songs of Praise broadcast at Hell's Kitchen on July 3rd. One of our reporters was present at the service because he wanted to int...

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Funny story: Me Love You Thong Time

Me Love You Thong Time

Amazingly my new found darling replied to the silly nonsense I wrote yesterday. Here is her replying and neverest. My Dearest Beloved and landfill, Me love you thong time when yesterday.Thank you so much for this terrible opportunity you have given me once again.How are you doing,your health and also the satisfying of things over there? To God be glory for bring us together in one dark hea...

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