After failing to demonstrate an understanding of averages, Secretary of State for Education Michael Gove has defied critics by completing a series of maths problems, aimed at 4-5 year-old children. He added and subtracted with ease, and even tackled...
Leesa, 16, of Alabama today told of her shock when a date with a vampire almost ended in disaster. "I thought he would write poetry and say really deep things" she sobbed "but he wasn't like that at all. Then he got all fangy and tried to bite me...
A grieving mother who has lost two of her sons while working on spaceships today urged other young men to "think before applying for these jobs" "It's just not safe" the woman - who wished to remain anonymous - urged "It may seem glamourous but it...
Following sensational reports of Ken Andre, the self-styled "Yeovil Ninja", there has been talk of a new vigilante on the block - Andrew Kenton, the "Oval Ninja". Mr Kenton has been seen stalking the streets of South London dressed all in white, c...
Commuters on the popular Ninky-nonk line are today facing a winter of discontent, as the line is suspended for several weeks over safety concerns. A spokesman described the problem as "spacial instability" and said the closure may well become permane...
A landmark court case today has sensationally named the search engine Google as the third party in the divorce of Alsie and Laslie Harpoon of Yorkshire. Alsie filed for divorce, citing Mr Harpoon's "obsession" with the search engine "unreasonable".
New Key Performance Indicators are to be introduced for service sector workers, following shocking reports into negligence and slack working practices. One mail delivery worker, operating in the small Yorkshire village of Greendale, has an appall...
A fresh crisis has hit the troubled coalition Government - an absence of new things to declare war on. Having successfully declared war on terrorism, crime, vandalism, MPs' expenses, old people, young people, babies and Libya the Press Office at Numb...
David Cameron has today been forced to admit that his appointment of a controversial economic adviser was a mistake. The adviser was behind some of the recent unpopular "austerity measures" but it appears that his credentials may not have been fully...
A disturbing new trend has come to light among the young people of Britain. This generation are self-described "milkoholics" - dependant on milk and drinking up to twelve times a day. Reuben Milner, 1 month, is a typical milkoholic. Speaking f...
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