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Standup Criminal Finally Gets Caught, And It's No Joke For Him

DALLAS, TX - A man was finally captured after a decade long search and a crime spree ranging in offenses from car theft to armed robbery to rape. Somewhere along the way, he also earned a nickname for his rather peculiar modus operandi. Last nigh...

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Mentally Challenged Victims of IQ Scam May Get Their Money Back

ATLANTA, GA - People with below average intelligence, whether it be from heredity, birth defect, or brain injury, are now targets of yet another scam in which the perpetrators claim to be able to raise the IQ of an affected person by as much as 50 po...

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New Network Plans to Change the Face of Old Family Shows, Sort Of

NEW YORK, NY - There's going to be a new network in town soon, and it's already creating waves in the world of television. The NASTV network will begin transmissions next week, and the name says it all...nasty tv programming. What this channel plans...

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Lindsay Lohan Wishes She Had Her Virginity Back

NEW YORK, NY - In a tearful, candid moment with Barbara Walters last evening, Lindsay Lohan revealed to her and to the world that she has come to regret losing her virginity so early in life. "I believe my life would be much different now had I no...

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Chef, Entrepreneur Tickles His Customers' Tastebuds With Uniquely Odd Cuisine

LAFAYETTE, LA - How many times have you been on the brink of starvation and driven past a dead animal on the road, thinking to yourself, "If only I knew how to make that thing just a little more palatable, then I wouldn't be so hungry"? Probably neve...

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Crew of Final Shuttle Mission Plan a Special Landing to Remember

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL - The flight crew of the final shuttle mission, scheduled to launch in late June, have a surprise up their sleeves. Everyone on the last flight of the Space Shuttle Program have agreed to end it with a bang, but hopefully not too...

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RV Careens Off Cliff, Apparently Result of Geriatric Sex Act Gone Wrong

BOULDER, CO - An elderly couple on their way from Boulder to Durango lost control of their 2008 Ambassador recreational vehicle on a mountainside and rolled over while unsuccessfully negotiating a sharp curve, tumbling forty feet to the bottom of a s...

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Justin Bieber Makes Monumental Self-Discovery..."There's Hair Down There!"

ORLANDO, FL - During a careful self-examination of his pre-pubescent body in his dressing room while preparing to go onstage at his concert here in Florida this past weekend, Justin Bieber got the biggest shock of his brief life thusfar...he's growin...

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Porn Industry Hoping to do its Part in Combating Fuel Price Spikes

SANTA MONICA, CA - It seems everyone these days is affected by the turmoil in the Middle East and North Africa. When trouble erupts in these volatile regions of the world, oil prices are surely to be negatively influenced. Consequently, every aspec...

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Ghost Hunters Wish to Enlarge Their Home State

WARWICK, RI - On the list of states in order of geographic size, Rhode Island ranks 50th out of 50, meaning the Ocean State is the tiniest in the union. Its physical area encompasses fewer square miles than the average-sized county in Texas, the...

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Breaking news…

Trump Names Convict With Ankle Bracelet as Chief-of-Staff

This time he wants a Chief-of-Staff that "won't get away too easy."
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