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Spoof stories written by Harry Porter

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Funny story: Wall of Sound Testifies Against Spector

Wall of Sound Testifies Against Spector

Silence fell upon Los Angeles Superior Court today as one of Phil Spector's closest allies took the stand. The majestic Wall of Sound stunned the courtroom with the revelation: "Yes, Phil pulled a gun on me too."...

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Funny story: Fife Sends Dirty Protest to Edinburgh

Fife Sends Dirty Protest to Edinburgh

The ancient Kingdom of Fife is furious over the filth being washed up on its beaches after Edinburgh's flood of sewage poured into the River Forth. Now Fifers have declared a waste war on their Lothian neighbours, bombarding the city with litter,...

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Funny story: Iran Plans Network of Nuclear Power Plants

Iran Plans Network of Nuclear Power Plants

Iran intends to build 150,000 nuclear reactors by 2009 having revealed it can now enrich uranium on an industrial scale.

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Funny story: Iran Proves a Cut Above the Rest

Iran Proves a Cut Above the Rest

Iran has raised the fashion stakes in the lucrative hostage market - The garish Guantanamo orange all-in-one overalls with heavy chain bling is now so yesterday, following the stunning release of the 15 British sailors and marines by the government i...

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Funny story: Gay Marriages Soar in Popularity

Gay Marriages Soar in Popularity

The reactionary stance taken by religious fundamentalists is helping drive gay marriages to new heights. Same sex couples are being so shamed in their relationships that there is now a frantic rush to get down the aisle and into social respectability...

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Funny story: Madonna Blocks Cher from Entering Kenya

Madonna Blocks Cher from Entering Kenya

Cher's low-key pledge to help a Kenyan village may well be blocked by another superstar - Madonna. In an apparent rage at being upstaged in her adoption bid, Madge has bought the East African state to stop her singing rival entering the country.

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Funny story: Heather Mills' Estranged Leg Breaks Silence

Heather Mills' Estranged Leg Breaks Silence

Beleaguered ex-Beatle Paul McCartney has gained an unusual ally in his acrimonious divorce battle - his wife's estranged leg.

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Funny story: Heather Mills Bids to be Recognised as Fifth Beatle

Heather Mills Bids to be Recognised as Fifth Beatle

Yoko Ono has been drawn into the vicious divorce spat between Sir Paul and Lady Heather Mills McCartney. John Lennon's widow is reported to be furious at reports that Sir Paul is considering offsetting a proportion of any future divorce settlemen...

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Funny story: Luxembourg Admits Nuclear Bomb Deal

Luxembourg Admits Nuclear Bomb Deal

Red-faced politicians in Luxembourg have admitted making an approach to North Korea in a bid to buy nuclear technology.

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Funny story: Swiss Guard Faces Axe from Vatican

Swiss Guard Faces Axe from Vatican

The Swiss Guard may soon be marching out of the Vatican as Pope Benedict XVI revolutionises Catholic Church finances with a sweeping programme of competitive tendering.

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Funny story: Xena Tipped to be Next Dr Who

Xena Tipped to be Next Dr Who

Lucy Lawless, star of the cult series ‘Xena: Warrior Princess', is the hot favourite to take over the Tardis and become the first ever female Dr Who.

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Funny story: Foreign Office Minister Outed as Illegal Immigrant

Foreign Office Minister Outed as Illegal Immigrant

The Government has been hurled into chaos with the astonishing revelation that a junior Foreign Office Minister is an illegal immigrant.

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Funny story: Al-Qaeda Corners Cassette Market

Al-Qaeda Corners Cassette Market

Al-Qaeda is dominating a niche business market - cassette tapes.

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Funny story: Fury over 'Marijuana is Good for You' Campaign

Fury over 'Marijuana is Good for You' Campaign

Hungary's quiet arrival into the European Union has given way to a blazing row after the Magyars declared 'marijuana is good for you' in a bold bid to boost tax revenue. The country's new approach to 'soft drugs', however, has met hard line opposi...

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Funny story: Queen unveils majestic new look

Queen unveils majestic new look

She may be The Queen, she may be head of the Commonwealth, she may be 78… but, above all, she's one fine looking lady And Her Majesty has now decided to put the regal dowdy look behind her in favour of a little raunchiness and is spreading her win...

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Funny story: Bob Dylan European Tour (Excerpt from Another take on Glasgow)

Bob Dylan European Tour (Excerpt from Another take on Glasgow)

Dylan adds Glasgow date to European tour I don’t know if that was the heading or where I first learnt that Dylan’s Neverending Tour was bouncing round to Scotland again but, whatever, it’s like a psychological Klaxon going off.

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Funny story: Cherie Blair's Fee Bankrupts Children's Hospice

Cherie Blair's Fee Bankrupts Children's Hospice

‘She's just a greedy cow', says angry vicar...

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