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Spoof stories written by Andrew J. Horne

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Public Library to File Lawsuits Against Copy-Machine Pirates

Funny story: Public Library to File Lawsuits Against Copy-Machine Pirates

Mayo, Kansas -- The Comanche County Public Library announced yesterday it will file its first wave of lawsuits later this month against those it alleges are illegally photocopying copyrighted books, joining the music industry in its fight against pir...

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Tiny Human Ancestor Found in New York

Funny story: Tiny Human Ancestor Found in New York

The discovery of a skeleton of a man barely one meter tall who hunted pygmy elephants and giant hamsters 18,000 years ago could rewrite the origins of humanity, scientists in United States said Thursday.

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Moore's Kidnappers Lower Ransom Demands....Again

Funny story: Moore's Kidnappers Lower Ransom Demands....Again

BAGHDAD, Iraq -- As we all know, Michael Moore, a well-know chinese film propagandist, was kidnapped in Iraq last week. News did not reach the american public for days as the kidnappers found it quite diffcult to capture footage of Moore'...

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Icecaps Melt, Costner Redeemed

Funny story: Icecaps Melt, Costner Redeemed

Thaw of the Arctic icecap is accelerating because of global warming but nations in the region including the United States are more concerned about a manditory apology to Kevin Costner for the universal bashing of his scifi flop, Waterworld.

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Liberals Look on Bright Side, Return to Comfortable Hypocracy

Funny story: Liberals Look on Bright Side, Return to Comfortable Hypocracy

"okay okay, Bush won, we can work with this," exclaimed Tad Hamilton of the Democratic National Committee. Hamilton explained that the left can simply return to the 'comfortable' position they've held for the last four years.

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Michael Moore Decides to "Literally" Breast Feed Hollywood Liberals Too

Funny story: Michael Moore Decides to "Literally" Breast Feed Hollywood Liberals Too

LOS ANGELES - After the star-studded Hollywood premiere of his new film Fahrenheit 9/11, creator Michael Moore felt he had to finish the evening off by inviting the entire audience back to his home to give them even more of exactly what they want.

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NASA To Delay Safety Fixes Until After Next Disaster

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fl. --NASA will continue flying crews to the International Space Station despite more than 800 known safety violations, some of which could destroy the outpost or kill a crew.

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TIVO captures Ted Kennedy Costume Malfunction

Funny story: TIVO captures Ted Kennedy Costume Malfunction

Washington, D.C. - Senator Ted Kennedy apologized Monday to anyone who was offended when his pierced left breast was exposed during an interview in the capital building.

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Children's Puppet Show Boring, Childish, and Offensive Say Adults

Funny story: Children's Puppet Show Boring, Childish, and Offensive Say Adults

Critics throughout New York are in an uproar over the scientific and historical inaccuracies of Avenue Q, a new theater show targeted towards children under the age of five.

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Teen Fad May Be Dangerous Say Experts

Teens, as every parent knows, think they're immortal - and they drink drain cleaner. Not a good combination, doctors say.

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Experimental Hot Sauce Leads to Taco Bell Inferno

IRVINE, CA - Accidental exposure of a 2,500-kiloliter tank of experimental "Ultra" hot sauce to an open flame Thursday evening sparked off a fire that threatened to engulf the entire fast-food district, prompting a multi-pronged rescue and...

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NASA Plans Risky Rover Descent Into Detroit

Funny story: NASA Plans Risky Rover Descent Into Detroit

DETROIT- The Mars Rover, Opportunity, is expected to roll into a stadium-sized pothole in Michigan Avenue this week from which it may never escape, NASA scientists said, a chance they willing to take in the interests of inner city exploration.

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Apple Introduces Expensive White Box with Holes, Plug, and Logo

Funny story: Apple Introduces Expensive White Box with Holes, Plug, and Logo

SILICON VALLEY, CA June 8 - Apple today unveiled a new device called iBOX. This attractive white box plugs into a typical wall socket and draws an economical 650 watts of power simply to light up the its useless logo. However, befor...

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Gatorade Introduces New Meat Flavored Beverages

Funny story: Gatorade Introduces New Meat Flavored Beverages

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON - After public demand and a 46-hour hunger strike, the Gatorade Corporation has finally approved plans for a brand new lineup of meat flavored sports drinks. Some of the upcoming flavors include Fierce Pork, Frosty Beef, a...

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Lost Paperwork Traps Refugee in Crappy French Airport

Funny story: Lost Paperwork Traps Refugee in Crappy French Airport

PARIS, France June 8th - He could be any passenger waiting for a flight, cleaning his socks in a drinking fountain of Charles de Gaulle Airport's Terminal One, luggage piled neatly by his side.

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