Libyan jets were seen over London today to protect British citizens who were taking part in a demonstration and were being attacked by police. A spokesman for Col. Gadaffi said, "The UN allows us to intervene to protect British citizens from being...
A leaked report from the Ministry of Justice suggests that ministers wish to save HMP Ford, the open prison in Sussex which was last seen going up in smoke, because, were it to close there would be nowhere to send disgraced MPS, Lords and D List cele...
The treasury today told David Cameron, according to inside sources, that they could no longer fund the 'Rent-a-mobs' that the government hire to create violence at peaceful demonstrations to undermine the protesters' causes. This follows three lar...
The Ministry of Defence has announced today that, from early next year, the Royal Air Force will be getting rid of all of its aircraft except those used to ferry officers, MPs and minor royals. In a massive cost cutting exercise 327 fixed wing air...
Prince Charles has issued a statement saying that, forthwith, he will not be eating tomatoes and appeals to other to give up eating the succulent red fruit. "Well, I was, you know, walking around my garden at Highgrove, having a chat to the grass...
For those who thought that Jack Straw had a strange fascination for prisons (he doubled the prison population from 40,000 to 80,000 in just 5 years), new evidence has just been found to support it. 46,361 photos showing prisons and prisoners have...
In response to claims that Gordon Brown threw diaries and cups of coffee at civil servants, Gordon Brown now claims in his autobiography, "The Road to Oblivion" that it was, in fact, poltergeists which threw things at people and not him in a fit of p...
Scottish police have called for more female officers to carry guns. At the moment it is mainly the men who are called upon to whip their weapons out and shoot at passers by. Under new Sex Equality Laws men will be able to be shot dead by either ma...
British Airways which for years has suffered the worst record of baggage loss for any airline has announced a new strategy to cut losses. From 1st January 2011 all of BA's customer baggage will be sent by Ryan Air. Although Ryan Air only operat...
The Department of Home Affairs has announced that next year's 85th birthday portrait of the queen will show her sitting naked, except for her crown, cross-legged on a tank in the Iraqi desert. A Buckingham Palace source stated that the royal genit...
News has leaked out that Robert Mugabee secretly entered Britain last week and was given political asylum and refugee status. He flew in on a special British Airways flight which then filled up with 197 refused asylum seekers who were being forcef...
The Americans have admitted blowing up a kidnapped aid worker in Afghanistan whilst attempting to rescue her. The incident has brought back memories of the Iraq invasion when only one British soldier was killed by the enemy, the rest were killed b...
George W broke off from his Lego last night to telephone Anne Widdicombe after watching her performance on Come Dancing; he said: "Y'now, there annie, you shoun't take it tooo bad, y'know. When I was small, a child, y'all there poeple sayed, y'know, that there George W, he's stew-pid, y'know, gott'n no sense, an' less brain'n a critter with no head, y'know what I mean, Annie - but gee, look at...
Always eager to find new gaps in the shrinking mobile phone market, Apple believe they are on to a winner with the new Icon phone, designed specifically for prisoners' use. The phone is small, only the size of your thumb, and has a Teflon coating...
David Cameron has announced, in his new Honours List, that he is to make Aleksandr Orlov a knight of the Garter for his services to advertising. Orlov said, "I will be liking the ermine cushion, simples." It is unclear if Cameron is aware that...
A McDonald tartan has been created to celebrate a Scottish born nun Mary MacKillop, who died in 1909 and will be canonised next Sunday. Mary, who was a great fan of the first McDonalds shop in Scotland, Roy Bridge in Lochaber, is thought to be res...
The Labour Opposition was in outrage, hastily sending quotes and sound bites to the tabloids after Crispin Blunt announced that gay prisoners in double cells will be able to demand double beds. Under Human Rights Acts all prisoners have a right to...
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