Shortly after winning a-one round knock-out over British top pranked contender Jonnie "I lost My" Marbles-, the pride of Shan dong, China, Wendi "the oriental gold-digger" Deng has signed a lucrative contract to fight the welterweight world champion...
Police were called to Glenn Beck's house last night. Beck was found laying on his back. He was bleeding from his face, nose and sported two black eyes. He had a dismembered arm and both legs were fractured. There were also bite marks visible around...
Last year a German citizen called police complaining that her husband refused to make love to her. Police told the women that they had no jurisdiction on sexual affairs. Today the same lady, ninety five year old Aida Ho (a Chinese mail bride)...
Vagina psychiatrists at Oral Robert University just announced the results of a twenty year blind study. They closely followed and studied a group of ten thousand vaginas for a period of twenty years. The findings of this study will change the way vaginal psycho analysis are conducted and their psychotherapy. Back in the early seventies there was a wide spread epidemic of claustrophobic vaginas...
Federal agents and detectives from the American KFC, surrounded a house in Little Egg Harbor last night. A small township in Ocean County, NJ. They wanted to question the lone resident at the property. A ninety year old who is the only living relativ...
Early this morning a helicopter that left Yeager airport in West Virginia was lost from the radar and never reached it's destination. Now news is coming out that the helicopter crashed in an isolated area of the Appalachian mountains near the Kentuck...
According to the Home Land Security office Moehavmudd Soilyuself, A Turkish terrorist entered the country in a suicide bomber mission, He arrived at Birmingham international airport in Alabama last week. From there, he was suppose to meet his accompl...
Detectives from The FBI, FDA and The KFC made a major announcement this evening concerning the origin of the bacterial infection that caused a major recall of eggs throughout the country. According to the head of the American KFC, Henley Crackpot...
Last night at a tea party in Miami Florida while dancing the Lambada with Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh grabbed his neck, gasped for air and quickly fell to the ground. According to an eyewitness, the ubiquitous "Large Marge", It sounded like a garbage...
Niamey, Niger - Niger French speaking newspaper is reporting that two weeks ago radio personality Dr. Laura married twenty eight year old Nigel Samanya. A native of the western Africa republic of Niger. Nigel a Maracas and Vuvuzuela instructor a...
Early this evening the United States announced that they will be opening a military base across the street from Mecca. This brand new facility will be home to Americas' latest fleet of aircrafts and helicopters. Short range missiles armed with nuclea...
Last night was a great night for newlyweds Levi Johnson and Nadya Suleman-Johnson. After getting marry in Las Vegas early that evening they announced that Octocmon was six months pregnant and the proud father to be was young Levi Johnson. This ti...
January 5 2012 - Who could have thonk it? When Linda McMahon an unknown around political circles won the republican nomination for senator from Connecticut back in August 2010. Nobody thought she would ever become president of the United States. W...
Last night after performing at the Lollapalooza festival and doing a careless perilous stage dive. Lady Gaga got very sick. First aid paramedics at the scene thought it was either a kidney stone or perhaps a gall bladder infection. As the pain worse...
Last night in a concert at the Cricket Wireless Pavilion, Trace Adkins made a sexual advance to those who don't like Sheriff Asspayu. The inebriated doped up hillbilly screamed. "anybody who doesn't like sheriff Asspayu can blow me". Every singl...
After learning about a rumor that implicated him in an Asspayu head bounty offer. A Mexican drug lord became enraged and starting screaming "not True" "Not me" "This will put in question my good taste and reputation" "As a business man I make good...
It finally happened! While the United States military was busy fighting wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, North Korea, Venezuela and Somalia. The prophecy of the" Reconquista" of Arizona by Mexico became a reality last week. This event was predicted b...
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