The Chilean miners trapped after a mine collapsed on them have today demanded overtime at double the normal rate of pay. Trapped miner and Union leader Mr Juan Diagio said "We normally work nine to five thirty Monday to Friday with an hour off for...
In scenes reminiscent of World War 2 a mass evacuation of children to the countryside has begun following Kerry Katona's claim that she would like to adopt a child. "It's the only way to ensure the safety of our children" commented Home Secretary...
A man from Berkshire, England has today sensationally pole vaulted his way into the record books following an accidental overdose on Viagra. Mr James Callister, 28, said "It all started as a bit of a joke really. My girlfriend had been complainin...
The medical world has been rocked today by a sensational new claim from Jill Mottershed from Barnsley who has sensationally revealed a new, low cost, guaranteed form of weight loss. "It was quite simple really." Reveals Jill "I'd tried loads of di...
In a shock move announced today, the new Governor of California has sensationally banned heterosexual marriage. Speaking from his office Governor Dwane Chippengorge said "Look these Goddam straight people with their perverted ideas have been getti...
We can exclusively reveal that Jesus has today been handed an ASBO in a surprising turn of events at the High Court. Ruling for the prosecution in the case Judge Gary Baldi said "The evidence was overwhelming in the end - he has to be taught a les...
Remarkable results this year for A level results as 100% of papers were awarded A* grades. Speaking on behalf of the Department for Education Mr C Dick said "All this nonsense about papers getting easier is very frustrating. These exams are reall...
Things are hotting up nicely for Cheryl Cole's new friend, tapeworm Graham as they release a new duet today following his success in Celebrity Big Brother. "It seems like the next natural step really." Said Graham. "Cheryl's been a great mentor fo...
The Queen has today sensationally announced that she's going on strike. The announcement comes after long talks between her Union the RSPCR (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Royals) and the Government. Standing outside Buckingham...
A new Government department aimed at reducing the amount of single people in the country has today released a guideline of do's and dont's when out on a first date. Mr S Shady, Minister for Demographics, said "Our department has been given the tas...
We can exclusively reveal that Procrastination has sensationally been exposed as the thief of time and was today sentenced for 10 years. Speaking for Scotland Yard Officer James McSporran told us "Well, we've suspected this for quite some time but...
Sweeping reform in the UK today as PM David Cameron announces plans that Facebook will replace public records. "It's so obvious really." Cameron stated "It's been staring us in the face for so long and I had one of those Eureka moments. Funnily en...
Following our sensational revelation af Cheryl Cole's new friend Graham the tape worm we can exclusively reveal that he has been offered a part in this year's Celebrity Big Brother. Basking in his new found fame Graham told us "It's all happening...
Hollywood insiders have today revealed that plans are being drawn up to make a film based on Gordon's first year as Prime Minister. Due to budget restraints the film will be made from recyled clips. Budd Hoppenbauer, upcoming new director, commen...
The World Health Organisation has today sensationally revealed that death is final. Speaking on behalf of the organisation Mr Jerome Backfysh said "Extensive research on the topic has shown that once someone is declared dead they don't tend to do...
A UK rocket scientist is to sue his employers for unfair dismissal it has been reported today. Mr George Slackboldy has registered a complaint against his employers in London claiming that they kept confusing him when he made mistakes. "Every t...
A recent survey made on 10,000 people has revealed that the one act that would split up most couples is if either partner slept with the other person's mother. The survey, published in the women's magazine "OMG!" showed that 65% of those surveyed...
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