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Spoof stories written by lotta cash

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Funny story: Come Fly With Me, Lets Fly, Let's Fly Away!

Come Fly With Me, Lets Fly, Let's Fly Away!

Despite warnings from the Civil Aviation Authority and the Met Office, Ryanair boss O'Leary flew an air craft right through the volcanic ash cloud and into the volcano itself, just before lunchtime today. Before taking to the air he held a press c...

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Funny story: Traffic Information Around Dublin During The Queens Visit

Traffic Information Around Dublin During The Queens Visit

As you travel around Dublin City centre in the coming days you may notice that all is not what you though it was. One may notice that there is little or no suitable parking. Regular drivers will be aware of how unusual this is as normally one can park ones car any where with reckless abandonment in Dublin. The following parking arrangements have being put in place over the next few days the pol...

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Funny story: Who Do You Think You Are? Or as I call it, Who The F…k Do You Think You Are?

Who Do You Think You Are? Or as I call it, Who The F…k Do You Think You Are?

I am a very successful person in my own right, to the extent that I gave birth to myself back in 1974, in the back of Fiat, I wasn't driving at the time. My Grand father was born in a one bed roomed tenement, his mother had 54 children by the time she was twenty-seven. Fifty eight of her children went on to be millionaires. The rest joined the church. Times ware hard they were starving most of...

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Funny story: I Love People…and The Little Things They Say…However…

I Love People…and The Little Things They Say…However…

I love people, I love meeting people, I love talking to people and I love listening to people, I love hearing about the absurdities that make up all our lives. I love the colourful tapestry of a good story rather then the dullness of the truth. However, from time to time there are things people say that really put me off. Here are a few "I'm very honest; I'll always tell you what I'm thinking"...

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Funny story: A Special Job, for a Very Special Girl: Lotta Lotta Cash

A Special Job, for a Very Special Girl: Lotta Lotta Cash

As you have all heard on the news today I was successful in my lust for power and was duly elected into the fifth ever Irish Government. Enda was on the phone to me first thing and offered me a cabinet post. I am now the Minister for Special Things. I have a budget of 100s and 100s of billions to spend on anything I want. The first thing I'm going to do is build a yellow brick road to somewhe...

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Funny story: Up the Weimar Republic in Dublin South Central

Up the Weimar Republic in Dublin South Central

After much soul searching I have decided to stand for election on the 25th. I was going to do it 2 days earlier but though better of it. I see no other credible solution for Ireland then to go the way of the Weimar Republic. If you vote for me I will buy the rights for it off the Germans as part of the ECB/IMF deal. I have had secret talks over the last month and I have their interest. The cond...

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Funny story: Returns on the North West Passage and the price of Bolivian Copper

Returns on the North West Passage and the price of Bolivian Copper

I have not taken my eyes of the screens all morning. The price of oil is changing by the minute. I have also liquidated my China bonds and suggest you do the same. I have instead invested in Cuba. I'm getting in while it's cheap and recommend a little flutter. I would start with no more then 5.5% a share and stop when it reaches 69 (to avoid the unpleasantness of last time.. I think you know what...

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Funny story: Daily tips for successful Insider dealing and the immanent closure of British Leyland in early in 2012

Daily tips for successful Insider dealing and the immanent closure of British Leyland in early in 2012

Good morning loyal readers and I hope today finds you happy with your fingers poised on your screens, ready for another day's dealing, or as I like to call it, hawking your soul. I was up at 3 o'clock this morning for a breakfast meeting with Roy Jenkins however he had nothing of use to say. I am of the opinion that like most of the present cabinet, his recent political contributions resemb...

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Funny story: My Life on Facebook

My Life on Facebook

I have 560 friends on face book and growing. In my real life I have 3. My 560 friends live in really interesting places and have very interesting jobs and hair styles. My real friends are Accountants and Teachers and live in Tempalouge. In turn each of them has hundreds of friends…. well some of them only have 6. But their probably out a lot, therefore they don't have the chance to meet people on...

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