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Funny story: Rail fares to rise by 2.8% in January 2018

Rail fares to rise by 2.8% in January 2018

The latest increase will add more than £100 to many annual season tickets....why wait to get ripped off. Save ££££’s on Gym Fees, stay healthy and save the planet...buy the new ‘Berlin Ripper’ available now at all good bike stores....and even Halford...

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Funny story: Going for Gold

Going for Gold

With the onset of the 2016 Rio Olympics BBC Executives had been concerned about the overall drop in viewing figures compared to those of the London Olympics, at the last estimate a frightening 32%. Seemingly, interest in the Rio games had been far...

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Funny story: Titty-Titty-Bang-Bang

Titty-Titty-Bang-Bang

Having already scraped well beneath the bottom of numerous barrels in an attempt to attract, hold and retain any weekend viewers, BBCTV has seemingly dragged itself into the 21st Century and discovered that sex sells! Still shuddering with orgasmi...

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Funny story: Ratatouille two-step

Ratatouille two-step

A man who had previously complained that a rat had 'run up his leg' while he was eating in his local Wetherspoon's pub has been exposed as a fraud. Dick Soars, 57, was on a blind Internet date with, Mona Lotz, a nubile Lithuanian wench and had arr...

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Funny story: Phwoar and Peace!

Phwoar and Peace!

With the news that it has been 'sexed up' the new BBC 're-telling' of Tolstoy's achingly stunning saga, War and Peace, promises to be a masturbators dream. Any attempt to do justice to the late great authors work has been jettisoned to appeal to a...

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Funny story: "Good heaving all!"

"Good heaving all!"

Most people don't choose to spend their weekends at a police station. But Richard Scratcher does. Every Friday and Saturday night, between 19:30 and 04:00, you will find the cheerful, if not totally knackered pensioner slumped across his desk m...

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Funny story: We do like to be beside the seaside.

We do like to be beside the seaside.

Sucking on her fifth Black Russian, both literally and metaphorically, WPC Fiona McCracken got unsteadily off her knee's, re-positioned herself on the bar stool and waving goodbye to her hunky donor Dimitri, began to narrate how she had ended up sh...

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Funny story: "It's reality Jim, but not as we know it!"

"It's reality Jim, but not as we know it!"

In keeping with its 'right on' left wing stance and cheap programming, the BBC has announced it is to broadcast a special edition of its flagship religious programme 'Songs of Praise' from a notorious Calais shithole migrant camp. Regular present...

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Funny story: Don't Fence me in.

Don't Fence me in.

Due to the current debacle at Calais, France wherein thousands of deadbeats are attempting to get to the UK in order to reach Sports Direct outlets to replenish their trainers and sportswear, lacklustre Prime Minister, Do-nothing-Dave has had to hast...

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Funny story: Theres no business like dough business!

Theres no business like dough business!

Hollywood is all agog today with the news that Sly Stallone is considering making Expendables 8 in little 'ole Eng-er-land, or to be more precise, West Yorkshireland. Ironically, the unusual location came about due to Sly being offered a heap of b...

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Funny story: I was born under a wandering Ma

I was born under a wandering Ma

Looking resplendent in what can only be described as an upmarket bin liner and a pair of black Tesco tights, Royal serial baby maker, The Duchess of Lust and her six month bump have been wheeled out to cheer up the masses and divert their attention f...

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Funny story: The Dirty half Dozen

The Dirty half Dozen

The Metropolitan Police reveal their 6 most wanted criminals this Christmas including an 88 year man, Norman Todger, 'who attacked an elderly neighbour with a worn out rampant rabbit after finding him in bed shagging his wife,Ethel aged 90'! Crime...

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Funny story: A right Royal mess!

A right Royal mess!

Royal inbred and Prince of Darkness, Royal George, or Damien 5 as he is known by long suffering nannies, has turned 17 months of age despite all attempts by god fearing Royal staff to have him put down discretely. Wheeled out farting like a wart h...

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Funny story: Santa's coming to town

Santa's coming to town

Furious upper-class families have blasted a Laurence Llewelyn-Ballsack giant 'Magical Inner Journey' grotto as it shut after one day amid claims Santa was a boozy, fornicating bastard, elves participated in a yuletide orgy and swore at sobbing kids!...

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Funny story: It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

Due to the continuing hammering they are receiving from both Aldi and Lidl the big four Supermarkets namely, Tesco, ASDA, Morrison's and Sainsbury's are each vying for what will be left of the Christmas market once people have stocked up via their Ge...

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Funny story: In it to win it!

In it to win it!

Jails have been forced to install stairlifts to cope with rocketing numbers of pensioner prisoners since the Tories came to power it has been announced. At least 8,987 over 65's were arrested in 2013 up 34 per cent on 2009. Prison chiefs have also ha...

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Funny story: It's big down under Bruce!

It's big down under Bruce!

It's that time of year again folks when ITV, having trawled umpteen nationwide casting agencies sign up an assortment of nondescript-would-be-celebrities and allow them to jet off to the land of Oz for a few weeks to fornicate with each other. Ye...

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