Showing:

Spoof stories written by Jeremy Paxman

Try another search?

Stunning New John Terry Revelations - It's All Here...

Funny story: Stunning New John Terry Revelations - It's All Here...

Startling new revelations concerning John Terry are about to be revealed in this weekends News of the World but once again, I have the exclusive scoop. Following the lifting of yet another "super injunction" enforced on the media by a top celebrit...

Read full story

Peter Tatchell: "Not all sex involving children is unwanted, abusive & harmful"

Funny story: Peter Tatchell: "Not all sex involving children is unwanted, abusive & harmful"

Hypocritical pope basher and militant gay rights leader, Peter Tatchell, has sensationally come out claiming that - based on his say-so - paedophilia is now acceptable, normal and okay. Obviously, since Tatchell is a militant homosexual who spends his life ramming it down peoples throats (often literally); he is lionised by the likes of Channel 4, BBC, Labour and numerous other lefties. If you'...

Read full story

This ISN'T Anfield

Funny story: This ISN'T Anfield

You can often tell a lot about a club by their shirt sponsor. Everton have Chang Beer (so one could infer that you'd have to be a pissed up Chinese factory worker to support them) and before that they had One 2 One (or as we across the park liked to suggest; Gone 2 One). Manchester City are sponsored by Etihad since that's the airline their new found friends in the Middle East have to use...

Read full story

There's No More Working Class Heroes...

Funny story: There's No More Working Class Heroes...

Gone are the days I'm afraid when - for want of a better word - the 'poor' could be described as Working Class Heroes. Thanks to the celebrity obsessed "me-generation" -gone too are traditional values and a sense of community. It's not just the little things like the classless slags who think it's okay to wear pyjamas to go to the shops or the scumbag hoodies who'd stab you for your loose chang...

Read full story

Inmates Demand £10k a Week From George Michael as 'Protection Money'

Funny story: Inmates Demand £10k a Week From George Michael as 'Protection Money'

Homosexual pop star George Michael has already run into trouble just a day into his porridge at Pentonville Prison with prison heavies demanding £10,000 a week in protection money to protect him in the showers. Apparantly, George Michael has been...

Read full story

Taliban to Burn Copies of Life of Brian in Response to Terry Jones "Burn a Koran Day" Threat

Funny story: Taliban to Burn Copies of Life of Brian in Response to Terry Jones "Burn a Koran Day" Threat

And now for something completely different... Terry Jones - former member of the Monty Python comedy team who has since swapped the Ministry of Silly Walks and the Ministry of Arguments for the Ministry of God - is now facing retaliatory action fr...

Read full story

Rooneygate: Has Wayne Rooney Been Texting a 5 Year Old Romanian Demanding a Spitroast?

Funny story: Rooneygate: Has Wayne Rooney Been Texting a 5 Year Old Romanian Demanding a Spitroast?

It's the question on everyone's lips...has Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney been texting a 5 year old Romanian girl demanding a spitroast with her and an unnamed colleague? The answer is, of course, no, but once wild baseless rum...

Read full story

Rooneygate: Did Sponsor Slogans Drive Wayne Rooney to Jennifer Thompson?

Funny story: Rooneygate: Did Sponsor Slogans Drive Wayne Rooney to Jennifer Thompson?

In a startling outburst to assembled journalists and world media waiting at the Swiss airport where the England Team arrived ahead of their crucial match against Switzerland, Wayne Rooney snarled at reporters as he gave "me own version of events an t...

Read full story

Rooneygate: Wayne & Coleen, a True Partnership - He Beds the Call Girls, She Issues the Injunctions...

Funny story: Rooneygate: Wayne & Coleen, a True Partnership - He Beds the Call Girls, She Issues the Injunctions...

That's right sportsfans, following today's so called 'exclusive' revelations in The Mail and elsewhere that Wayne Rooney has been smashing the granny out of Manchester call girls for a couple of years now - including one called Jennifer Thompson aka...

Read full story

George Michael - "I'm NOT gay, I was just stoned"

Funny story: George Michael - "I'm NOT gay, I was just stoned"

George Michael has admitted that despite previous claims, he is actually NOT gay and has in fact just been stoned for 10 years. Asked if he was certain - given his track record of overt gayness - he said "I'm not just certain, I'm HIV positive."...

Read full story

Kerry Katona & Peter Andre's Lovechild: "It'll Slip Out Like a Wet Fish"

Funny story: Kerry Katona & Peter Andre's Lovechild: "It'll Slip Out Like a Wet Fish"

Talentless alcoholic pillhead, Kerry Katona (aka Kerry Katatonic), is expecting her fifth child and this time it's the bastard lovechild of permatanned leatherman, Peter Andre. Andre - who has no freckles because they all slid off - has been smash...

Read full story

Jails Minister Crispin Blunt Reveals He's Gay, Leaves Wife & Heads for Prison Showers

Funny story: Jails Minister Crispin Blunt Reveals He's Gay, Leaves Wife & Heads for Prison Showers

Although not exactly a big surprise given his name (99% of public school toffs with twats names like Crispin, Tarquin etc. are surely gay), a medium surprise given the fact he was educated at Sandhurst Military School or indeed even a tiny little sur...

Read full story

Mascherano Signs for Barcelona's Deaf Contingent

Funny story: Mascherano Signs for Barcelona's Deaf Contingent

After weeks of debate, spat dummies, brinkmanship and multi-million pound offers for the diminuative Argentinean defensive midfielder; Javier Mascherano has finally agreed to 'sign' for Barcelona. Apparantly, Barcelona has one of the highest conti...

Read full story

Peoples Republic of Merseyside - Liverpool Finally Gets Self Determination

Funny story: Peoples Republic of Merseyside - Liverpool Finally Gets Self Determination

"We're not English, we're Scouse" has been the mantra for decades and in a defiant act sure to infuriate the middle class shandy drinking homo's in the South of England; Liverpool have finally woken up the fact that they are much better off (and inde...

Read full story

Grubby Arthur Scargill Sacked by National Union of Mineworkers

Funny story: Grubby Arthur Scargill Sacked by National Union of Mineworkers

In what must surely be a humiliating blow, slapheaded communist, Arthur Scargill, has been sacked by his own union - the National Union of Mineworkers. Thanks to his failed leadership during the 80's miners strikes, fatcat hands-in-the-till Scargi...

Read full story

Peter Andre is Ruining OUR Marriage

Funny story: Peter Andre is Ruining OUR Marriage

While Alex Reid may have created (or more likely sold) headlines in the newspapers over the weekend by claiming Peter Andre is ruining his marriage to Katie Price (allegedly, Katie is "obsessed" with what Peter is doing, where he is, who he is with e...

Read full story

David & Samantha Cameron Give Birth to Baby Thatcher

Funny story: David & Samantha Cameron Give Birth to Baby Thatcher

Prime Minister David Cameron has said he and his wife Samantha Cameron are "absolutely thrilled" that their fourth child, a Thatcher, has been born during their holiday in Truro. Conservative chiefs have been masterminding a secret eugenics progra...

Read full story

Wayne Rooney Press Injunction - Sex, Drugs & Sausage Rolls

Funny story: Wayne Rooney Press Injunction - Sex, Drugs & Sausage Rolls

Yes, that's right, it's another exclusive and another two fingers up at the legal establishment for issuing yet another nefarious injunction on behalf of yet another classless footballing multi-millionaire scrote... I am delighted to reveal that...

Read full story

Breaking news…
Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more