Spoof stories written by Gary Midgeley

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England Team In The Toilet?

Funny story: England Team In The Toilet?

The England fan who caused a security alert when he wandered into the team's dressing room after their goalless draw with Algeria at the World Cup says he was only looking for the toilet. Fan Pavlos Joseph, managed to evade heavy security by using...

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British Woman Attacked By Monkeys

Funny story: British Woman Attacked By Monkeys

A British woman has been savaged by a pack of macaque monkeys whilst holidaying at a Thai nature resort. Dee Darwell, 56 who herself confesses to having a huge phobia of monkeys, wanted to conquer that phobia but the plan horribly backfired when i...

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World Cup Conspiracy Leaked

Funny story: World Cup Conspiracy Leaked

After the recent failed attempts by football supporters' organisations to have the vuvuzelas banned at the World Cup matches in South Africa, news has spread of a possible conspiracy to silence the vuvuzelas once and for all-by knocking all the Afric...

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Sky Force People To Pay For Sky Sports News

Funny story: Sky Force People To Pay For Sky Sports News

BSkyB is to take Sky Sports News off Freeview, ending eight years of free-to-air broadcasting of the channel. The satellite broadcaster has decided to replace the 24-hour sports news service with a new Sky 3+1 channel and move the Sky Sports News...

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Deadly Laser Toy Hits Shelves

Funny story: Deadly Laser Toy Hits Shelves

A handheld laser likened to a Star Wars lightsabre and so powerful it can instantly blind and "set fire to skin and other body parts" can be bought online and shipped to the UK. The device, with a beam 1,000 times stronger than sunlight on the ski...

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BBC 'Buzz Off' World Cup

Funny story: BBC 'Buzz Off' World Cup

Fans may soon have the option to cut out the sound of the vuvuzela horns when watching the World Cup on TV. The BBC is investigating ways of transmitting an alternative feed of matches on the red button which would limit the buzzing sound made by...

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New Car May Cause US/UK War

Funny story: New Car May Cause US/UK War

A fleet of hydrogen fuel cell cars that emit nothing but water vapour will be trialled by UK drivers from 2012, but may cause a war. The unusual two-seat city car was designed and developed by British company Riversimple. It's lightweight, capabl...

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Three Lions WC Song Banned In SA

Funny story: Three Lions WC Song Banned In SA

England may be featuring at this years World Cup, but sadly the popular English song 'Three Lions' will not as it's now been banned following a tragic and freak accident. The 1996 hit for The Lightning Seeds and official anthem for England's Euro...

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Big Brother Suicide Bid

Funny story: Big Brother Suicide Bid

The world is in shock this week when Big Brother, whom is only 9 years old, was found in the bathroom after another attempt to commit suicide, with its ratings in the toilet and its dignity going straight down the drain; it wasn't a pretty sight to s...

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Britney-Don't Touch My Spear

Funny story: Britney-Don't Touch My Spear

One of Britney Spears' top bodyguards has quit after accusing her of sexual harassment. 29-year-old Fernando Flores has claimed that Britney paraded naked in front of him, runs around the house naked and even tried to entice him into her bedroom,...

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Rooney's Odd Odds

Funny story: Rooney's Odd Odds

Bookmakers have cut the odds on England star Wayne Rooney being sent off in the World Cup after his referee rant during a warm-up game. The striker was booked for dissent during England's 3-0 victory over Platinum Stars after allegedly saying "f**...

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Oxford Street Shopper Siege

Funny story: Oxford Street Shopper Siege

Six people were arrested, another was taken to hospital and one of London's busiest shopping areas was closed after a mass water fight broke out. The Oxford Street attack began on Friday at 1pm and continued for several hours when hundreds of peop...

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Funny story: DOOMED! NASA Excited

After news that the Russian lead "Mars 500" experiment successfully began this week, NASA has announced its intentions to follow suit with a similar experiment of their own. The Mars 500 experiment consists of six people-locked in a windowless cap...

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Darling, SuBo, Eyebrow, KO

Funny story: Darling, SuBo, Eyebrow, KO

It's official, the fight we've all been waiting for is finally gonna happen! Alistair Darling's eyebrows will take on SuBo's in what is being hyped as the biggest fight of the century. The bout was arranged following their war of words which begu...

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US Declare War On The Sea

Funny story: US Declare War On The Sea

The US has put its armed forces on standby today following rumours that there may be an impending war with the sea. Robert Gibbs, press secretary for the Whitehouse said, "we have reason to believe that the sea may have weapons of mass destruction...

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'Our Balls Are Ok' Says FIFA

Funny story: 'Our Balls Are Ok' Says FIFA

As the World Cup draws ever closer, players and staff alike have been complaining about FIFA's new balls. England keeper David James complained; "FIFA's balls are completely out of control; they bounce everywhere and are very slippery when wet". H...

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Rooney Targeted By The US

Funny story: Rooney Targeted By The US

With England's World Cup opener less than a week away, it has been leaked that the USA will be using "mind game" tactics in the match to help give them the edge and possibly cause an upset. Former USA defender Alexi Lalas spoke about the tactics,...

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Danny In Dyer Film

Funny story: Danny In Dyer Film

Danny Dyer's latest film "Pimp" bombed at the cinema on it's opening weekend, where just 24 seats were sold, making a pittance of £205. The docu-film style gritty story is set in Soho and is said to be an insight into the street lives of prostitutes...

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