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Spoof stories written by j.w.

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Funny story: Boris Blasts Off

Boris Blasts Off

Boris Trump has blasted off on his campaign to be Prime Minister with a 'joke' that The Spoof refused to publish. But Boris has not finished - he is planning the takeover of Britain by Trumpism. No more of the climate change nonsense, just good ol...

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Funny story: Heaven to have a privatised service

Heaven to have a privatised service

Plans are afoot for the establishment of a privatised heaven. Rupert Rees-Hogg commented: 'There are far too many ex-Etonians and Establishment figures who have been refused access to heaven on their death. This must stop! At the moment any old anyon...

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Funny story: Welcome to my Garden.

Welcome to my Garden.

Worried about running out of food with a NO DEAL Brexit? Then worry no more! I have stockpiles of food in my garden! Marrows, my wife is throwing at me. Courgettes, she wants to shove up my arse! Broccoli, she wants to throw at our neighbours who already have a supply until Christmas. Coming soon: Tomatoes and more tomatoes, all at the same time - to throw at any passing politician.

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Funny story: Corbyn's Anti-Semitism Row Explodes Again!

Corbyn's Anti-Semitism Row Explodes Again!

Stirrings in the German countryside as Adolf appears again, and is whisked away by Jeremy Corbyn who becomes Adolf Hitler Mark 2. This 'new improved' Hitler has a beard not a moustache, he has a cunningly-kind demeanour, but, like Adolf, he has hu...

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Funny story: World Cup Shock: NO ONE WINS!

World Cup Shock: NO ONE WINS!

A series of events has plunged the World Cup in Russia into unprecendented chaos. An instruction to referees to punish players for clear serious infringements of the rules with yellow and red cards has resulted in previously overlooked fouls being...

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Funny story: More Alzheimer's Cure Worries

More Alzheimer's Cure Worries

Following the success of my classic story Alzheimer's Cure Worries I have, in all modesty, decided to return to this delicate subject. Top Alzheimer's researcher, Dr Brain, is working at the forefront of helping evermore people remember things the...

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Funny story: Go Home Call Explained

Go Home Call Explained

The call of a Conservative Government for immigrants to Go Home has been clarified by Conservative Central Office. As a Public schoolboy I was given prior notice of the announcemnet before the resat of you because I know what's what and am a man o...

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Funny story: Government in Trouble

Government in Trouble

Following a Rush of Wind, causing a great stink in the Parliamentary Chamber, an embarrassed Tory Government has issued pegs to all members attending debates. Some MP's complained that 'The Ruddy Rush of Wind' was coming from the posterior of the...

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Funny story: BBC changes name

BBC changes name

The BBC is changing its name from the British Broadcasting Corporation to the State Broadcasting Corporation with immediate efffect. The new Director General of the SBC, Boris Johnson, announced that Britain was now 'speaking with one voice - MINE...

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Funny story: Corbyn's Anti-Semitism Row Explodes

Corbyn's Anti-Semitism Row Explodes

Jeremy Corbyn was today criticised for not praising the Israeli Government for killing unarmed demonstrators at the Gaza/Israel border. 'This is a clear case of blatant anti-semitism' declared 20 Labour MP's who demanded that Corbyn should resign.

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Funny story: Prize from the Daily Mail

Prize from the Daily Mail

The Rothermere owned Daily Mail is offering an interesting prize for reports of anti-semitism in the Labour Party. In the dungeons at the Daily Mail ofices are huge bundles of Blackshirts, now sought after by collectors of pre-war memorborilia and...

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Funny story: Can I Tell This Joke?

Can I Tell This Joke?

People trying to make other people laugh are up against it. We are unable to tell jokes about: Women, Irish people, Scottish people, Black people, Jewish people, Homosexual people and any minority group with a persecution complex. So who can a tell a joke about? What about other comedians - is that OK? Will I be an anti-Jokeist? It isn't funny. You have to watch every word and delete any wor...

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Funny story: Amazing Sleep Discovery

Amazing Sleep Discovery

Dr Dawn Break, the famous sleep disorder therapist, has announced an incredible discovery that will revolutionise the scientific approach to sleep disorders. 'The main discovery' she told our Scientific correspondent Joe Wink 'is in how to get peo...

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Funny story: Democratic Fracking

Democratic Fracking

Lancashire County Council have agreed that fracking should not take place in their area of jurisdiction but democracy means that the views of Lancashire County Council are irrelevant. This new concept of democracy is being promoted because it is i...

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Funny story: Tory Slogan Shock

Tory Slogan Shock

The Tory Conference slogan suggesting that the Tories are working for a country that 'Works for Everyone' has been adapted for different audiences in the UK. In more affluent areas the adaptation includes after the words 'Works for Everyone who ha...

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Funny story: Big Sam's Sacrifice

Big Sam's Sacrifice

Big Sam Allardyce has made a glorious gesture and decided that West Ham need him more than England. Th Hammers, now in the relegation zone of the Premier league have been named Harry Gold's Pieces of Eight due to the number of players West Ham se...

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Funny story: Watson Revealed as a Trotskyite

Watson Revealed as a Trotskyite

Labour's Deputy Leader, Tom Watson - known to his friends in the Corbynist Momentum movement as Uncle Tom - has been revealed as a closet Trotskyist. Documents made public by Wikileaks show a series of emails between Watson and Trotsky acolytes go...

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