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Spoof stories written by Donnie Dogmeat

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Funny story: Confusion reigns as Fabio picks wrong squad

Confusion reigns as Fabio picks wrong squad

Fooball bosses admitted today that "terrible mistakes" had been made when announcing England's final 23 players for the World Cup Finals. Bosses blamed Fabio Capello's inability to communicate effectively in English for the fact that Boris Johnson...

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Funny story: Princess Fergie to appear in Star Wars VII

Princess Fergie to appear in Star Wars VII

The financial woes of Sarah Ferguson may be over after she signed up yesterday to appear in a new science-fiction blockbuster. Fergie will take a leading role in Star Wars VII - the Return of the Syphillis. She has been offered £500,000 to pla...

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Funny story: Is South African athlete a geezer in a skirt?

Is South African athlete a geezer in a skirt?

The family of South African 800m runner Caster Semenya have reacted angrily to reports that women athletes may refuse to race against her. Some of the world's top women athletes could boycott the sport if Semenya is allowed to return to competitio...

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Funny story: Sir Alan Sugarbabe releases new album

Sir Alan Sugarbabe releases new album

London based rapper Sir Alan Sugarbabe is releasing an album of Cockney Classics. The eagerly-awaited new album, which is entitled: "Roll Out The Barrowboys" also features former Spurs and England football manager Hairy Tennisballs performing the...

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Funny story: New Labour Leader Appointed

New Labour Leader Appointed

In a surprise move, the Labour Party today unveiled Lord Heehaw as its new leader. According to political commentators, this is the first time for at least two hours that the Labour Party has been headed by an ass. Lord Heehaw, who stood in the...

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Funny story: Tragic death of Jack Duckworth's pigeon

Tragic death of Jack Duckworth's pigeon

Coronation Street legend Jack Duckworth was reported to be "heartbroken" last night after one of his pigeons died in a freak accident. The bird came to grief after becoming caught up in a tangled storyline. Granada TV confirmed this morning tha...

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Funny story: Support grows for Monster Raving Rooney party

Support grows for Monster Raving Rooney party

The latest General Election poll has predicted a landslide victory for the Monster Raving Rooney Party. Party leader Wayne Rooney is set to be elected Prime Minister according to a Giddy-up poll published today. "The Americans gave us George W.

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Funny story: Police launch search for Jedward

Police launch search for Jedward

A nationwide police hunt has been launched for Jedward after reports that the pop superstars have disappeared off the face of the earth. An ashen-faced Simon Cowell emerged from his luxury holiday home in Cleethorpes to issue a heartfelt plea to J...

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Funny story: Bubbles the chimp rushed to hospital

Bubbles the chimp rushed to hospital

Bubbles the chimp has been admitted to hospital suffering from a sore arse. The pampered primate had recently been adopted by Graham Norton after the tragic death of his brother, Michael. Doctors at the Royal Marzipan Hospital are desperately s...

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Funny story: Shock as English player picked for test series

Shock as English player picked for test series

England cricket selectors have today shocked the sporting world by announcing the inclusion of an English-born player in the squad to play in the forthoming Test series against Spain. Winston Ambrose (42) will become the first English player to re...

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Funny story: Simon Cowell to wed childhood sweetheart

Simon Cowell to wed childhood sweetheart

Simon Cowell has sold the exclusive rights to his wedding to world-class reporter, Donnie Dogmeat. The "Britain Agrees I've Got No Talent" judge will marry childhood sweetheat Pete Waterman in a lavish ceremony at The O2 Arena in June. Donnie D...

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Funny story: Capello sacked as England boss

Capello sacked as England boss

In a shock move, it was announced today that England boss Fabio Capello had been fired. The decision was made after bosses were told that Capello had been exposed by this undercover intrepid reporter as a foreigner. Bertie Piledriver, Chairman...

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Funny story: Prescott's chipolata set to sizzle

Prescott's chipolata set to sizzle

Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott today announced that he is to retire from politics to forge a new career as a celebrity chef. Prescott told a hushed and empty House of Commons: "Ever since I bought a burger van three weeks ago, I have dream...

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