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Funny story: Wedding Bells for Kenny Blankenship and "Olga from Volga"

Wedding Bells for Kenny Blankenship and "Olga from Volga"

SOCHI, RUSSIA - Despite threats from Russian police authorities to imprison the mysterious "Olga from Volga", one of the two female kidnappers of Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano, she is headed down the aisle instead. At a press conference today,...

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Funny story: Track Meet in Reverse at U of O's Hayward Field

Track Meet in Reverse at U of O's Hayward Field

EUGENE, OREGON - University of Oregon athletic officials have announced a new track meet in honor of Steve Prefontaine, a world-class middle and long distance runner, who along with Frank Shorter, Bill Rodgers, and Jim Ryun generated a running boom i...

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Funny story: Kenny Blakenship and Vince Romano Released by Two Volga Women

Kenny Blakenship and Vince Romano Released by Two Volga Women

SOCHI, RUSSIA - Police authorities in Sochi have announced that Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano were released by their elusive, female Russian kidnappers early this morning. Kenny and Vic, who were kidnapped several nights ago by two Volga women,...

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Funny story: Foods Our Mom Made Us Eat That We Tried to Feed to the Dog

Foods Our Mom Made Us Eat That We Tried to Feed to the Dog

1. beef liver 2. brussel sprouts 3. canned spinach 4. Hamburger Helper 5. boiled canned peas 6. okra 7. pickled beets 8. gizzards 9. liverwurst 10. lima beans 11. pickled pig's feet 12. prunes 13. pickled herring 14. turnips 15. beef brains 16. greasy cheesy hamburgers 17. sardines 18. octopus 19. venison 20. limburger ch...

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Funny story: 10 Things Men Can Do Better Than Women

10 Things Men Can Do Better Than Women

1. grow beards and mustaches, chest and back hair 2. snore so loudly it can be heard two doors down 3. hunt and fish in the summer, winter, spring, and fall 4. play 18 holes of golf at the same golf course for 30+ years 5. break wind so loud it can be heard two doors down 6. change flat tires, oil, spark plugs, fuel filter, transmission fluid... 7. belch so loud it can be...

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Funny story: Gordon Ramsay Announces Celery Cook-Off

Gordon Ramsay Announces Celery Cook-Off

LONDON, ENGLAND - Gordon Ramsay, who has been awarded 15 Michelin Stars, has plans to hold a celery cook-off in July in Arvada, Colorado, the Celery Capital of the World. According to Ramsay, "Any chef can hold their own in a chowder cook-off or a...

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Funny story: Hawaiians Forbidden to Marry Serbians in International Alphabet Emergency

Hawaiians Forbidden to Marry Serbians in International Alphabet Emergency

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK - Wedding registry officials at the United Nations have handed down a decision concerning the flood of over-long newlywed names from abroad. Speaking for the registry committee, Sir Engvald Torkner said, "It was bad enough...

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Funny story: 10 Things Women Can Do Better Than Men

10 Things Women Can Do Better Than Men

1. polish their toe nails while talking on the phone, eating a cheeseburger, and yelling at the kids 2. exercise at the gym without breaking a sweat 3. wear pointy, painful high heels all day 4. shop in all 500 stores at the Mall of America during one visit 5. pick out birthday, anniversary, Christmas, Valentine's, and Mother's Day gifts for themselves and everyone else 6. tr...

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Funny story: 1st International Dachshund Race, Sausage and Beer Festival to be Held In Frankfurt

1st International Dachshund Race, Sausage and Beer Festival to be Held In Frankfurt

FRANKFURT, GERMANY - In an effort to establish dachshund racing in Germany, the Frankfurt City Fathers are excited to announce the First Annual International Dachshund Race, Sausage and Beer Festival to be held here in June. Race Organizer, Engleb...

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Funny story: U.S. Camel Corps to Be Resurrected

U.S. Camel Corps to Be Resurrected

BARSTOW, CALIFORNIA - Officers at Fort Irwin, home of the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment, "Blackhorse Regiment", are busy resurrecting the U.S. Camel Corps. The U.S. Camel Corps, which operated in the desert Southwest in the 1800's, was an army exp...

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Funny story: Man, 20ish, Found Wandering Near Elko Says He Was Abducted by Aliens and Given a Mullet

Man, 20ish, Found Wandering Near Elko Says He Was Abducted by Aliens and Given a Mullet

ELKO, NEVADA - Today police authorities in Elko reported the mysterious appearance of a young man, probably in his early 20's, who was found semi-dazed, wandering in the desert outside of town last Wednesday. A truck driver, Elmer Comstock, of Sna...

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Funny story: "Colorado Pot Friendly Campaign" to Begin

"Colorado Pot Friendly Campaign" to Begin

DENVER, COLORADO - The Best in the West Business Bureau (BIWBB) of Colorado has announced a new campaign to give start-up pot related businesses a boost. Called the "Colorado Pot Friendly Campaign", the BIWBB hopes to draw customers to new businesse...

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Funny story: President Wants the Harlem Globetrotters and Armed Forces Exhibition Teams to Visit North Korea

President Wants the Harlem Globetrotters and Armed Forces Exhibition Teams to Visit North Korea

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has announced today that he is asking the entire Harlem Globetrotters team to visit North Korea as goodwill ambassadors, along with a special exhibition team composed of the best of the U.S. Armed Forces basketball...

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Funny story: "Olga from Volga" Offered a Lucrative Contract With Worldwise Wrestling Federation

"Olga from Volga" Offered a Lucrative Contract With Worldwise Wrestling Federation

SOCHI, RUSSIA - Worldwise Wrestling Federation (WWF) representatives were in Sochi today to offer "Olga from Volga", one of the anonymous kidnappers of Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano, a lucrative wrestling contract with their Iron Butterfly Lady Wr...

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Funny story: Rock and Roll Museum to Open West Coast Version

Rock and Roll Museum to Open West Coast Version

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - Officials from the Rock and Roll Museum in Cleveland, Ohio, have announced they will open a West Coast version in San Francisco next year. The decision was made after a particularly hard winter in Cleveland, when touris...

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Funny story: Fox Hunting Touted as Next New Summer Olympic Event

Fox Hunting Touted as Next New Summer Olympic Event

LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND - In a highly secret, behind the scenes, "blue blood grass effort", the sport of Fox Hunting is being touted as the next new Summer Olympic event. An unidentified source has revealed several highly influential supporters from...

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Funny story: New Hollywood Telescope Business a Popular Tourist Destination

New Hollywood Telescope Business a Popular Tourist Destination

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - A new Hollywood business called "All Eyes Are On You", has quickly become a popular tourist destination since opening in October. Owner, Buzz Rocklin, bought a lot up in the Hollywood Hills next to the Iconic "Hollywood" s...

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