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Spoof stories written by Dr. Billingsgate

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Trump To Pelosi: “You Must Have Been Something Before Electricity”

Funny story: Trump To Pelosi: “You Must Have Been Something Before Electricity”

BILLINGSGATE POST: Taking a line from Al Czervik, played by Rodney Dangerfield in the movie “Caddyshack,” President Trump was overheard whispering; “Hey baby, you must have been something before electricity,” as he engaged in an air kiss with the ag...

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Bugseye Pelosi vs Flyface

Funny story: Bugseye Pelosi vs Flyface

BILLINGSGATE POST: A horse’s head is a horse’s head, of course, of course. If this ain’t news, I will eat your shorts. Some two months ago it was reported that Mafiosa lioness, the notorious Bugseye Pelosi, dumped a horse’s head on the bed of Do...

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Slim Everdingle Raids FBI HQ: Snaps Compromising Photos Of Comey And Mueller

Funny story: Slim Everdingle Raids FBI HQ: Snaps Compromising Photos Of Comey And Mueller

BILLINGSGATE POST: In what Sean Hannity describes as the most audacious attack on the FBI since Baby Face Nelson in 1934, Slim Everdingle and his faithful companion, Detrick "Dirty Trick" Detwiler, broke into the offices of former FBI Directors James...

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Trump Calls Mueller A "Smelly Imitation Lawyer"

Funny story: Trump Calls Mueller A "Smelly Imitation Lawyer"

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a previous news story, the repulsive character, Flyface, was introduced as Robert Mueller's alter-ego. Unsure of whether Mueller (Flyface) will call for his impeachment when he finally winds up his report, the frustrated Trum...

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Pocahontas Visits Pocahontas

Funny story: Pocahontas Visits Pocahontas

BILLINGSGATE POST: if you ever visit Princess Park in Pocahontas, Iowa, you must check out the 25' tall Pocahontas statue, her custom-built teepee and a historic log cabin. While there, check out the historic Pocahontas Court House. Be sure to stop...

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Mueller To Trump: “Dont Call Me Flyface.”

Funny story: Mueller To Trump: “Dont Call Me Flyface.”

BILLINGSGATE POST:. Newsworthy or not, has a sitting president ever called the man charged with investigating him such a despicable name? I think not. “Flyface” connotes an image of incredible filth and ugliness. Notwithstanding the fact that Robe...

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Trumplovian Dog Slobber Caused By Marmaduke Acid Reflux Syndrome (MARS)

Funny story: Trumplovian Dog Slobber Caused By Marmaduke Acid Reflux Syndrome (MARS)

BILLINGSGATE POST: Newsworthy only because it appears to be, this subject might seem to be relevant, even though it’s not. If it were, no one capable of understanding it would read it, especially in this forum. In a much discussed experiment invo...

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Trump’s Christmas In The White House

Funny story: Trump’s Christmas In The White House

BILLINGSGATE POST: A Heart Warming News Story: ‘Twas the Christmas Season. And all through the White House where Obama once schemed, there was nary a mouse to be seen. With nothing to do because of his wall embargo, President Trump could only d...

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Wile E Mueller To Be Indicted For Collusion With ACME Corp

Funny story: Wile E Mueller To Be Indicted For Collusion With ACME Corp

BILLINGSGATE POST: The quietness of the Sonoran Desert was broken by the muffled silence of mice nibbling on cream cheese. Even though their teeth had been capped with rubber tips, sounds of rodent mastication bounced off canyon walls like thunder. Although the Armadillos indigenous to this hostile environment had been unarmed by dissident anti-arm vigilantes, there was no peace in the desert.

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Johnny Carson “Carnak The Magnificent” One Liners

BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Some of his one liners: "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou." Reading the contents of the envelope: "Name three things that have yeast." A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? A: Zippo Marx. Q: What do you...

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Homopterans Call For Mika’s Dismissal: Buttboy, My Ass!

Funny story: Homopterans Call For Mika’s Dismissal: Buttboy, My Ass!

BILLINGSGATE POST: First thing you should know: Never, ever f**k with a Cicada. Like a rat chewing on cheese with rubber-tipped teeth, you will never hear them coming until it’s too late. Homoptera refers to an order of insects that is characterized by its dual pair of wings and sucking mouthparts. Examples of Homoptera include the aforementioned cicadas. It is highly advisable to exterminate the...

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Bugseye Pelosi Dumps A Horse’s Head On Trump’s Bed: Her Mafia Thing

Funny story: Bugseye Pelosi Dumps A Horse’s Head On Trump’s Bed: Her Mafia Thing

BILLINGSGATE POST: A horse's head is a horse's head, of course, of course. “Donald, I think we have company in our bed.” “Go back to sleep honey. You must be dreaming.” “Donald, there’s a f**king horse’s head next to you.” Reminiscent o...

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Nancy Pelosi: Eyes Like Two Tinkle Holes In A Snow Bank

BILLINGSGATE POST: During the Ice Age the terrain of Mother Earth was forever scarred by vast glaciers that sculpted the surface of the planet that we call our home. The jagged edges; mountains that we now call the Rockies, are archeological remnant...

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Desperate 70 Year-Old Man Robs Bank, Immediately Surrenders To Police

Funny story: Desperate 70 Year-Old Man Robs Bank, Immediately Surrenders To Police

BILLINGSGATE POST: Joe Kocolochek, a retired farmer from Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, had taken all he could. After surviving fifty years with his termagant wife, he decided that he had to take action. Anything would be better than spending another...

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Slim And Dirty Discuss Skanks, Mueller And The Quasimodo Effect

Funny story: Slim And Dirty Discuss Skanks, Mueller And The Quasimodo Effect

BILLINGSGATE POST: Regardless of your political leanings, a chance to be privy to a once-in-life-time conversation between Slim Everdingle and Detrick “Dirty Trick” Detwiler as they talk about the ultimate trifecta; Skanks, Mueller and the Quasimodo...

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Michael Cohen: Sasha Made Me Sing Like A Canary

Funny story: Michael Cohen: Sasha Made Me Sing Like A Canary

BILLINGSGATE POST: "When The Twilight Is Gone And No Songbirds Are Singing." But the songbirds were singing. Michael Cohen just performed acapella for James Mueller, or so he thought. Although both have the same surname, Michael and Sasha Bar...

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Plot To Khashoggi CNN’s Jim Acosta Disrupted By Slim Everdingle And Dirty Trick

Funny story: Plot To Khashoggi CNN’s Jim Acosta Disrupted By Slim Everdingle And Dirty Trick

BILLINGSGATE POST: What could go wrong? Fifteen Saudis, inconspicuously dressed in white dishdashas and sporting keffiyehs, disembarked from a private jet which flew in and landed under the radar at a little used landing strip on the Eastern Shore...

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Saudi X-rays Show Khashoggi Body Parts Smuggled Out In Hit Team’s Tummies

Funny story: Saudi X-rays Show Khashoggi Body Parts Smuggled Out In Hit Team’s Tummies

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a previously copyrighted story that appeared on these pages, Saudi officials had dismissed the allegation that the team that assassinated Mr. Khashoggi in their Consulate In Turkey disposed of him by dismembering him and then s...

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