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Spoof stories written by Dr. Billingsgate

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Funny story: Kamala, Poozleosi and Biden: Two Jerks and a Squirt

Kamala, Poozleosi and Biden: Two Jerks and a Squirt

BILLINGSGATE POST: In the Pantheon of fools, the Three Stooges were without peer. But that was nearly 80 years ago. Since then, they have been outshone and nearly forgotten as the years passed by. They were active from 1922 until 1970. Best remember…

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Funny story: Put Your Heels On My Shoulders: Kamala Harris Rides Again

Put Your Heels On My Shoulders: Kamala Harris Rides Again

BILLINGSGATE POST: Kamala “Breath” Harris, currently riding shotgun and lady-in-waiting for Dementia Joe to blow out the candle, was known for using her feminine wiles to work her way up the ladder. Her fling with Willie Brown, while he was the…

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Funny story: Snopes Verifies QAnon Conspiracy: Hillary Clinton Connected To Suez Canal Closure

Snopes Verifies QAnon Conspiracy: Hillary Clinton Connected To Suez Canal Closure

BILLINGSGATE POST: Was Hillary Clinton responsible for the closure of the Suez Canal? “Yes,” says Snopes. The conspiracy theory goes like this: The ship that was stuck in the canal, the Ever Given, is owned by Taiwan-based Evergreen Marine and c…

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Funny story: Joe Biden: Now Don’t Tell Me I’ve Nothing To Do

Joe Biden: Now Don’t Tell Me I’ve Nothing To Do

BILLINGSGATE POST: It has been reported, that for the nearly nine months preceding the Presidential election, while Joe Biden was sequestered in his basement, he wore out the recliner mechanism on two Naugahyde BarcaLoungers. Although he did ge…

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Funny story: Elmer Smuckmeister: Don’t Go To A Feminist Rally To Find A Cook

Elmer Smuckmeister: Don’t Go To A Feminist Rally To Find A Cook

BILLINGSGATE POST: Elmer Smuckmeister had grown lonesome in the saddle since his horse died. The widows of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska; the ones who still had teeth, had long ago decided that Elmer, despite his extra-large bank account, was an incurab…

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Funny story: How Elmer Smuckmeister Saved His Free Range Chickens

How Elmer Smuckmeister Saved His Free Range Chickens

BILLINGSGATE POST: Elmer Smuckmeister from Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, had a poultry problem. His free range chickens were being run down by speeding cars. What was once a quiet rural road with few cars, now has heavy traffic whizzing by at high spee…

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Funny story: Wile E Coyote Bares All To Oprah: Pulls Race Card

Wile E Coyote Bares All To Oprah: Pulls Race Card

BILLINGSGATE POST: Like Meghan and Harry, Wile E Coyote, the distraught victim of a thousand blows to the head by gravity controlled ACME ANVILS, chose to air his grievances with the Goddess of Understanding, Oprah Winfrey. In a tearful display of…

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Funny story: Smuckmeister On Cuomo: Put A Saddle On That Jackass And Ride Him Outa Here

Smuckmeister On Cuomo: Put A Saddle On That Jackass And Ride Him Outa Here

BILLINGSGATE POST: Elmer Smuckmeister, the conscience of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, thought he had seen it all. A rector in the Beaver Crossing Unity Church, Elmer was not perfect. To the contrary: Just lately, during a snow storm, he had dressed u…

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Funny story: Where’s Hunter? FBI Clueless Again

Where’s Hunter? FBI Clueless Again

BILLINGSGATE POST: Mysterious things happen in the Hoover Building where the FBI is headquartered. Although traditional thinking has it that the building was named after former FBI Director and cross-dresser, J Edgar Hoover, more and more, it appear…

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Funny story: Signs That You Might Be A Latent Cuomosexual

Signs That You Might Be A Latent Cuomosexual

BILLINGSGATE POST: If you don’t know whether you’re a Cuomosexual, you probably have never questioned a gal half your age if she ever had sex with a geriatric. Perhaps you have never asked a naive little chickadee if she would “just let you hang it…

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Funny story: Meghan And Harry: The Comedy Of Heirs By Oprah Winfield

Meghan And Harry: The Comedy Of Heirs By Oprah Winfield

BILLINGSGATE POST: Not lost in the interview of Meghan and Harry by Oprah Winfield, the other night, was the convoluted irony of the story that might have even challenged William Shakespeare. The Comedy of Errors is one of Shakespeare’s early…

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Funny story: Biden Evicts Two Dogs With Four Ass Holes From White House

Biden Evicts Two Dogs With Four Ass Holes From White House

BILLINGSGATE POST: From the White House to the dog house, Lassie Come Home this is not. In the movie released in 1943, Roddy McDowell had to sell his beloved dog to the Duke of Rudling because his family could no longer afford to feed him. After…

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Funny story: Sniffin’ Joe And His Red-Headed Porcupine Press Secretary

Sniffin’ Joe And His Red-Headed Porcupine Press Secretary

BILLINGSGATE POST: Old habits die hard. Sniffin’ Joe Biden’s peculiar penchant for surreptitiously sneaking up behind unsuspecting chicks, putting his lecherous mitts on their quaking shoulders, and then doing a snorkel-less deep dive into the back…

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Funny story: Dr. Seuss Banned: Cuomo Still At Large And Dangerous

Dr. Seuss Banned: Cuomo Still At Large And Dangerous

BILLINGSGATE POST: This is nuts! Six Dr. Seuss books will no longer be published due to perceived racist and insensitive imagery. At the same time, Governor Cuomo, a serial prevert with a record of talking dirty to young ladies, who prefer to talk…

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Funny story: Why Gov. Cuomo Struck Out With The Young Chicks

Why Gov. Cuomo Struck Out With The Young Chicks

BILLINGSGATE POST: He had it all. Minus a decent personality, and lacking any discernible redeeming qualities, he somehow managed to be elected Governor of New York. Not of Ivy League material, he graduated from Fordham University, a mediocre…

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Funny story: Snopes: Unable To Confirm Biden Having Sex On Shanghai Fork Lift

Snopes: Unable To Confirm Biden Having Sex On Shanghai Fork Lift

BILLINGSGATE POST: Speaking without notes for the first time since his latest facelift, President Biden addressed the Nation today from his office in the People’s Republic of Washington. Noticeably off his meds, he squinted at the teleprompter with…

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Funny story: Rare Sighting Of Two Dogs With Four Assholes In Oval Office

Rare Sighting Of Two Dogs With Four Assholes In Oval Office

BILLINGSGATE POST: Most presidents are satisfied with having but one dog during their time in the White House. But Joe Biden has two, both German Shepherds, that were adopted by him before he moved in. There have been countless variations of the s…

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