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Spoof stories written by Bill Licks

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Chris Evans to present nothing

Funny story: Chris Evans to present nothing

After his shock departure from Top Gear, Chris Evans has announced he will now present nothing. 'It's crazy' said Evans 'but I have come up with this unique concept that means I won't be doing anything.' 'No one will see or hear me ever again.

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Adele to release mini album called '69'

Funny story: Adele to release mini album called '69'

She's written songs about the word 'hello' and pavements but now London's most successful singer named Adele is set to release a controversial mini album entitled '69'. Details of the album's exact content are still a mystery but a number of propo...

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Christ on a bike to compete for Team GB at the Olympics

Funny story: Christ on a bike to compete for Team GB at the Olympics

Legendary prophet and son of God, Jesus Christ is the latest in the line of 'Plastic Brits' to sign up for Team GB at the 2012 London Olympics. The Messiah has shown an interest in several sports in his time spent in the afterlife and has recently...

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Queen to celebrate Diamond Jubilee by getting smashed

Funny story: Queen to celebrate Diamond Jubilee by getting smashed

Queen Elizabeth II is to celebrate her 60 years on the throne by going on the mother of all benders with other members of the Royal family. She is hoping to start the day by getting twatted on champagne in the Bonapartes pub on Buckingham Palace R...

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Mario Balotelli is not my son says Roberto Mancini

Funny story: Mario Balotelli is not my son says Roberto Mancini

Beleaguered Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini has admitted that contrary to popular belief, wayward striker Mario Baletolli is not his son. 'I do not know who started this rumour' said Mancini 'but I can confirm that although I know his mother...

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Manager says he did hear Terry call Ferdinand a 'black c##t'

Funny story: Manager says he did hear Terry call Ferdinand a 'black c##t'

The manager of the London Wetlands Centre admitted today that he overheard Terry the bird feeder call Ferdinand the Eurasion Coot a 'black c##t'. 'I was shocked' said Mr Warnock who has managed the bird sanctuary in West London for 2 years. 'I can...

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Gary Neville's Unofficial Autobiography - C*nts

Funny story: Gary Neville's Unofficial Autobiography - C*nts

It's the book the whole of football has been waiting for - one man's angry rants against everything from Sir Alex Ferguson to his pet goldfish, Busby. Exclusive to the Spoof are these excerpts from Gary Neville's unofficial autobiography 'Cunts'. On Sir Alex Ferguson 'I met Sir Alex before he was a Sir, just when he was plain old Alex Ferguson or 'the Gaffer' as I used to call him. He w...

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One Day - The Director's Cut

Funny story: One Day - The Director's Cut

Its some time back in the 80s at a university in Edinburgh and a young couple are in their final year about to go their separate ways. The bloke, played by Hugh Grant wakes up in the bedroom of the girl, played by 90s one hit wonder Haddaway the morning after one final bender in the student union. Hugh Grant - Um, so what am I doing here? Haddaway - What? Hugh Grant - You know? What am I...

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Blue Peter reveals a guide to hacking mobile phones

Funny story: Blue Peter reveals a guide to hacking mobile phones

The popular BBC children's magazine show, Blue Peter, has revealed to its viewers a fascinating guide on how to hack into your favourite celebrity's mobile phone. 'It's as easy as making exploding cat food' said excitable presenter Suzy Chimpteeth. 'All you need is the phone number of someone famous, like David Beckham for example, two tin cans, a ball of string, some double sided sticky tap...

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Nostradamus predicted the end of the News of the World

Funny story: Nostradamus predicted the end of the News of the World

He hasn't yet correctly predicted the end of the world, but Nostradamus did manage to predict the end of Britain's biggest selling tabloid, the News of the World. This is the shock news revealed today by Britain's leading psychic and astrologer Ru...

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Jubilee Line to be filled with shit

Funny story: Jubilee Line to be filled with shit

The Mayor of London Boris Johnson has today announced that the Jubilee Line will be closed for good and filled with billions of tonnes of excrement. After months of suffering for commuters who have had to put up with such excuses as broken down tr...

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Impressionist cat is the favourite to win Britain's Got Talent

Funny story: Impressionist cat is the favourite to win Britain's Got Talent

A 5 year old cat from Wembley is the favourite to win Britain's Got Talent after performing a stand up routine featuring several hilarious impressions. 'He's fantastic' squealed new judge Michael Mcintyre. 'The moment he walked on stage I just cou...

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University to offer students a degree in Spoofs

Funny story: University to offer students a degree in Spoofs

A top university is giving its students the opportunity to learn how to write satirical stories in an effort to improve the quality of spoof writing on the internet. In a recent online survey by the comedy spoofing website, the BBC, over 75% of t...

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University Challenge's Clemo to marry Katie Price

Funny story: University Challenge's Clemo to marry Katie Price

Andrew 'Clemo' Clemo, the captain of the defeated York team in the University Challenge final, emerged from the BBC studios with a cheeky grin on his face and his own personal trophy. Not the impressive glass ornament that was being clutched by Ma...

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Michael Jackson stuffed and mounted outside an English football ground

Funny story: Michael Jackson stuffed and mounted outside an English football ground

Pop legend Michael Jackson has made an unexpected appearance in London, England almost 2 years after his untimely death. The singer who had hits such as Thriller and Ebony and Ivory featuring Sir Paul McCartney, was unveiled in front of Fulham FC'...

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Wayne Rooney in Four Word Outburst

Funny story: Wayne Rooney in Four Word Outburst

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney stunned millions of television viewers by revealing he now has a vocabulary of four words. After completing his hat-trick in the 4-2 win over West Ham United at Upton Park, Rooney shouted the words 'Fucking w...

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Charlie Sheen to star in Two Hookers and a Half Cut Man

Funny story: Charlie Sheen to star in Two Hookers and a Half Cut Man

Hollywood legend Charlie Sheen is set to star in a new comedy series after Two and a Half Men was dramatically cancelled. The provisionally titled 'Two Hookers and a Half Cut Man' will follow the day to day adventures of a middle aged drunk and hi...

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Lazy, feckless, flatulent man outraged at Top Gear for being compared to Mexicans

Funny story: Lazy, feckless, flatulent man outraged at Top Gear for being compared to Mexicans

The BBC has been inundated by hundreds of complaints from an irate lazy, feckless, flatulent man after Top Gear presenter Richard 'Hamster' Hammond compared him to Mexicans. Gary Coogan, a 36 year old unemployed man from Croydon has demanded an ap...

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