There was shock in Westminster when the Leader of the Opposition, one Ed Miliband, declared his party's main issue in the impending election. "As a party we have in the past fought elections based on the economy, the future of the NHS, unemploymen...
Westminster was reeling earlier today when the Labour Party announced that, if elected, they would be taxing glasses of water to fund the NHS. "This follows on from yesterday's TV programme, where Myleene Klass criticised our Mansion Tax proposal,...
There was jubilation in the streets of Britain as an elderly woman, who had been ill for some time, passed away earlier this week. The elderly woman had once been a person of some importance but that had not been the case for nearly a quarter of a...
Chancellor of the Federal Republic of Germany from 1949-1963 Konrad Adenauer was yesterday jailed for waging aggressive war, war crimes and crimes against humanity by an Allied Military Tribunal. Speaking after the sentencing, one of judges gave t...
The antics of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the Christmas Day Underpants Bomber, have been directly linked to global warming, climate experts confirmed today. "We are convinced that the accurate rise in global temperatures that we correctly predicted...
Fox announced yesterday that they are diversifying into the automotive sector during the Anchorage Motor Show in Alaska to take advantage of market niches caused by the collapse of GM. "Essentially the vehicle consists of two main components, a to...
Gordon Brown came out today strongly evaluating the possibility that he may attack the accusations that he is a 'Prize Ditherer' 'Sometime Soon', according to a Labour Spokesperson. "He's almost certain to potentially speak out on these taunts by...
There was shock yesterday as it was revealed that groups of Labour Party officials have been loitering near school entrances and accosting schoolchildren as young as 12 with a view to getting them hooked on left-wing politics. "This is perfectly n...
The BBC announced a new show to appear in their Spring Schedules. Entitled "Roasting Time", it will involve a panel of people in the news being questioned by an invited audience on current events. "The critical difference to other shows,", explai...
There was controversy yesterday when the BBC announced that its September 1940 edition of Question Time would not include Adolf Hitler, the Leader of the National Socialist German Workers Party and Leader of the Third Reich. "We don't believe that...
Following private polling by the Labour Party, it has been announced that the Prime Minister will be wearing a brown paper bag with two eyeholes over his head. "We've realised that every time people saw Gordon Brown on the television that we lost...
It was announced that the 500 British Army reinforcements to be sent to Afghanistan will be made up entirely of X-Factor Contestants, but they won't be required to perform their act in the middle of actual combat situations, a government spokesperson...
There was intense excitement at Labour Headquarters yesterday as private polling revealed the likely outcome of the 2010 General Election. "Make no mistake", said a Labour spokesperson, "We are heading for a record landslide result under Gordon...
President Obama spoke at a meeting of the United Nations Security Council yesterday afternoon in support of a resolution against Fox News' use of Words to Manufacture Disenchantment (WMD). "After the attacks of 9.11, 9.23 and quarter to ten this m...
Sub-porn star Jordan, aka Katie Price, faces disaster as her script writer quit, it was reported yesterday. Speaking with the aid of a piece of paper with double-spaced typing in a large sans-serif font on it the silicone-based life-form elaborated...
A new exhibition opened yesterday at the European Commission in Brussels charting the progress of democracy on the continent since the year 1900. "Essentially it charts the way in which national and international institutions have become more acco...
The condition of Gordon Brown's one working eye was "no cause for concern" a No.10 spokesperson said today. "It's perfectly natural for a person in a leadership position to shed a few tears now and again. Margaret Thatcher did it, Tony Blair did...
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