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Funny story: Brown in 'Dirty Protest'

Brown in 'Dirty Protest'

Gordon Brown tonight indicated that he would not willingly leave No 10, but that he would resist, possibly involving a protest mimicking the "dirty protests" so synonymous with 1980's Northern Ireland. Mr Brown explained that he would use any legi...

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Funny story: Brown and Cameron to Meet in Televised 'Cagefight'

Brown and Cameron to Meet in Televised 'Cagefight'

Gordon Brown has accepted the Tory party invitation for the party leaders to meet in a no holds barred, bare knuckled 'cagefight' contest just two days before the election. The meeting is to be held at the MEN Arena in Manchester on Tuesday May 4t...

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Funny story: 'Roll Tax' Proposal Slammed By Tories

'Roll Tax' Proposal Slammed By Tories

The new manifesto promise by Labour to add a tax of £1 on each toilet roll sold in the UK has been dismissed by David Cameron as, "taxing crap". The controversial measure announced by Gordon Brown earlier in the week was launched as a "flagship ma...

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Funny story: Pissing "Makes You Sober" Scientists Claim

Pissing "Makes You Sober" Scientists Claim

A team of top scientists at University College Nowhere has concluded that the act of urination directly causes the amount of alcohol in the bloodstream to fall. In the five year study, researchers visited a range of pubs each lunchtime drinking a...

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Funny story: Wii Sex Leads To Injury

Wii Sex Leads To Injury

The newly released 'Wii Sex' console game has been heralded as "a major public health hazard" by the British Medical Association. The controversial game features scenarios that require the repeated, furious oscillation of the handheld controller i...

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Funny story: HSE Advises Toilet Door Modifications

HSE Advises Toilet Door Modifications

The Health and Safety Executive yesterday advised government ministers to legislate in order to avoid further toilet related drowning deaths. Six men have died in the last month in accidents in public toilets across the UK. Although one was the v...

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Funny story: Women's Boxing 'Guarantees GB Medal Success'

Women's Boxing 'Guarantees GB Medal Success'

The chair of British Boxing, Sir Tim Gitt, yesterday praised the decision to include women's boxing in London 2012 as,"a great opportunity for Team GB." "We are guaranteed to top the medal tables in 2012 because we have the best female pugilists i...

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Funny story: Crapping Gains Olympic Status

Crapping Gains Olympic Status

The number of Olympic sports was expanded further yesterday with the announcement by the I.O.C. that it would sanction the inaugural World Crapping Championships, to take place during the 2012 games. Initial briefings suggest that the format will...

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Funny story: Historian Disproves Newton's Apple Theorem

Historian Disproves Newton's Apple Theorem

A leading academic yesterday dismissed the commonly held belief that Sir Isaac Newton formulated his theory of gravity after being struck on the head by an apple as "absolute fucking crap." Professor Hienk Hungrossen of Reading University said,"It...

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Funny story: Man Dies In Toilet Horror

Man Dies In Toilet Horror

A 37 year old man died yesterday from severe head injuries in what police called a, "freak and horrific accident," in a cubicle of a public toilet in Silverdale, Lancashire. It appears that the as yet unnamed victim was suffering from an acute sto...

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Funny story: Flintoff Admits to Demons

Flintoff Admits to Demons

Andrew Flintoff yesterday admitted what many had suspected for some time. In a remarkably frank interview in a darkened bar in the centre of Manchester, the 6'3" 32 stone fast drinker stated that he wanted to, "put some demons behind me." "Yes, I...

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Funny story: Naked Twenty - 20 Initiative Defended by ICC

Naked Twenty - 20 Initiative Defended by ICC

The ICC, the international cricketing governing body had moved quickly to defend its latest initiative to raise the profile of women's cricket- the Womens ICC Naked 20 - Twenty series. In a statement issued last night the ICC stated that, "Thi...

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Funny story: F1 Announces Radical Rule Changes

F1 Announces Radical Rule Changes

The recent turbulent history of Formula 1 entered a new phase yesterday when the FIA revealed further radical changes aimed at broadening the sport's appeal. Bernie Ecclestone addressed a stunned world media to announce the changes at a hastily ar...

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Funny story: Fear of Crime Surveys Hits Record High

Fear of Crime Surveys Hits Record High

The fear of crime surveys has overtaken anxiety over almost all crimes a survey revealed yesterday. The publication conducted by on behalf of Catchall Incontinence Solutions and DAT Security showed that the perceived risk of being asked questions...

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Funny story: Met Office Issues Forcast U-Turn

Met Office Issues Forcast U-Turn

The Met Office has issued an apology and retracted its long term forecast for the much heralded warm, dry summer, published earlier this year. The unprecedented move follows several weeks of persistently wet weather which has ruled out the possibi...

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