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Funny satire stories about zodiac

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Funny story: New York Woman’s Horoscope Exceeds Expectations

New York Woman’s Horoscope Exceeds Expectations

Craving guidance one Tuesday morning at work, Ellen Payne, a Gemini living in New York City, turned to her daily horoscope. Disappointingly, she found her general horoscope to be rather basic and vague, as was her love horoscope. But when she clicked...

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Funny story: Trump Sues NASA, Rants about Zodiac Sign Change

Trump Sues NASA, Rants about Zodiac Sign Change

New York, NY - After conferring with Ivanka Trump and Marla Maples, Donald J. Trump had decided to sue NASA over its recent decision to change the Zodiac signs for 80% of the world's population. Trump's sign was changed from Gemini to Taurus. A Gem...

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Funny story: Couple Files for Divorce over Sudden Zodiac Sign Change

Couple Files for Divorce over Sudden Zodiac Sign Change

Fort Lee, NJ - A couple who just celebrated their 30th anniversary has decided to divorce due to a recent change in Zodiac signs. The couple concluded they are no longer compatible due to the recent NASA change, which adds Ophiuchus for birthdays fr...

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Funny story: Geminis going mental over new Zodiac

Geminis going mental over new Zodiac

As zodiac signs change and shift, Geminis are literally going mental over the new astrology. The coming of Ophiuchus has provoked a worldwide psychological crisis for double personality, bi-sexual, bipolar, bifocal, bi-cultural, bicycle riding Gemini...

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Funny story: If You Were Born in Early December, Your Zodiac Sign is Now a Penis With Eyes

If You Were Born in Early December, Your Zodiac Sign is Now a Penis With Eyes

So, some a--hole has decided that, because of a change in the universe, and global warming and all, the zodiacs have changed. In fact, now there are 13 signs. This new one is called Ophiuchus, which was named for Imhotep, the guy Billy Zane played in The Mummy*. The zodiac sign for Ophiuchus is a bald snake, again patterned after Billy Zane. Scorpio is now 6 days long, and all of the othe...

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