Hey how ya doin’, I’m Rocco Garbonzo and my sister, Carmella (but you probably know her by the name Madame Zoroestria), has a cold or Covid or whatever, so she axed me to do her horoscope column for this week or year – I dunno how this shit works, bu…
Craving guidance one Tuesday morning at work, Ellen Payne, a Gemini living in New York City, turned to her daily horoscope. Disappointingly, she found her general horoscope to be rather basic and vague, as was her love horoscope. But when she clicked...
New York, NY - After conferring with Ivanka Trump and Marla Maples, Donald J. Trump had decided to sue NASA over its recent decision to change the Zodiac signs for 80% of the world's population. Trump's sign was changed from Gemini to Taurus. A Gem...
Fort Lee, NJ - A couple who just celebrated their 30th anniversary has decided to divorce due to a recent change in Zodiac signs. The couple concluded they are no longer compatible due to the recent NASA change, which adds Ophiuchus for birthdays fr...
As zodiac signs change and shift, Geminis are literally going mental over the new astrology. The coming of Ophiuchus has provoked a worldwide psychological crisis for double personality, bi-sexual, bipolar, bifocal, bi-cultural, bicycle riding Gemini...
So, some a--hole has decided that, because of a change in the universe, and global warming and all, the zodiacs have changed. In fact, now there are 13 signs. This new one is called Ophiuchus, which was named for Imhotep, the guy Billy Zane played in The Mummy*. The zodiac sign for Ophiuchus is a bald snake, again patterned after Billy Zane. Scorpio is now 6 days long, and all of the othe...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.
