Cyberspace - A ton of money has been bet on Queen Elizardbirth fabricating from the Throne of Albion on Sunday's upcoming Feast of Yule. Odds setters at global internet spread betting giant Aintgottaprayer.con said today they'd been looking at eme...
Many Torontonians and Americans have had their power knocked out by a catastrophic ice storm, but some are taking solace in the fact that being cursed with such utter darkness has taught them the true, horrible meaning of Christmas. The ice storm...
Space, The Cosmos - Just what this means for dotty Miley Cyrus, beleaguered former poster-child for Disney corruption, or past-her-sell-by Sagittarian Vanessa Hudgens isn't immediately clear, of course. All that's cooking up trouble in the cosmos...
Oakland, California - It's a roller coaster ride to Armageddon this Winter Solstice weekend with the publication of failed Apocalyptic prophet Harold Camping's final deathbed rant exonerating the 2012 Mayan Calendar fiasco as 'slightly out of sync'.
Cyberspace - An online bookmakers has reported a wall of money currently topping $100 million in pre-Winter Solstice bets about specific long shot events occurring to fulfill the Mayan Calendar prophecy. Top of the doomsday list is Brit hoaxer mon...
Stonehenge, Wilts - A British coven based near the prehysteric monument of Stonehenge has tipped off the press about the government's Doomsday plans for members of the Cabinet and the royal family. "They're all legging it to a nuke-proof 'austeri...
Berlin - It's all because some sort of German stinktank was one of the human frights groups whose HQ got torched last week. Locals in Baddassburg described today how the Cairo branch of Druids Anonymous had claimed responsibility following a bad a...
London - Squirming worm-like red top hackers are on Winter Solstice high alert despite Tuesday's stellar TV performance by Piers Morgan. Tomorrow's 5.30am solar ingress into Capricorn seize (sic) some stunning astrological aspects vying to flush o...
Cumbria - (Tremors): The 3.5 quake rattled much of the Lake District today as locals blamed Druidic hankypanky on the Winter solstice for the tremor that shook their peaceful habitat. The tremor's epicentre was identified as being some 8.9 miles u...
Pacific Ocean - (Tremors): A Winter solstice delirium tremens hit South Eastern Iran today. The 7.4 magnitude quake near the holy city of Bam also triggered a seismic tipple - er...ripple!- effect that battered Japan's Bonin Isles 1,000 km south o...
Area 51, Nevada - (Cool Yule News): NASA HQ sources said today a huge breakaway chunk of black opal from Halley's Comet has been detected orbiting the periphery of the moon. Its emergence comes ahead of the Winter Solstice lunar eclipse on Tuesd...
London - (Yule-Be-Sorry!): The mood is grim at Hellfire Club HQ ahead of Tuesday's solar ingress into Capricorn. Ancient files published this week describe the Illuminatis' rage of 1554 when some dimwit last dared leak their sordid secrets. The...
The Cosmos - (Armageddinouttahere!): Wiccas' harshest equivalent of a Federal Emergency Management Agency executive order was issued today. The astrology warning by the Global Sabbath Council says Monday's Yuletide solstice will will be a monster.
Milky Way - (Cosmic Bad Ass Mess): Sky-watchers everywhere have reported increasing fears that this year's Yule celebrations will be marked by some cataclysmic karmic pay-back after studying the numerology involved in the astrological make-up of...
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