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So, to recap, of the children who won admittance to the wonderful magical world of Willy Wanker's Chocolate Shit Factory only Milly O ' Nare and Charlie Fuckitt remain.
German fat boy Uder died after getting trapped in the u-bend of a giant toilet-cum-chocolate shit lake; Oirish itinerant traveller boy Pikey Gee-Gee wa...
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The riverboat chugs along and comes to a stop after a terrifying tunnel passage in which images of sick depravity and torture appear before the eyes of the unfortunate passengers.
"I fuckin' hate in-flight entertainment", moans Grandpa Joe as he removes his headphones and places them back in their holder.
All are in agree...
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The usual crowd of nosy bastards gathers outside the gates to Willy Wanker's Chocolate Shit Factory. Amongst them stands Charlie and Grandpa Joe, both dressed in their best clothes - which coincidentally are exactly the same clothes as they always wear (they are poor, after all).
"Oh, this is so exciting, Grandpa Joe", grins Charlie.
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Charlie comes home and enters a strangely dark room.
"I'm back", he says half-heartedly.
"Surprise!", comes the reply as his family leap out wearing party hats and his mother at the front holding a lump of shite she baked.
"Happy birthday, son! We all pooled our excrement to make this homemade chocolate log", she says offering it to him.
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Charlie walks along the footpath on his way to work in the chimney factory, head held low and cap pulled down tightly over his ears to protect himself from the biting cold.
He passes the candy shop and stares in the paneled window at the children inside buying packets of "Wanker Chocolate Shit".
The Candyman, a tall, queer fellow (modern day meaning in t...
A timeless children's classic gets the Jesus Budda treatment for this jolly Christmas Season.
Ho ho ho!
As darkness descends over the old town, a young boy makes his way home from a long hard day slogging in the chimneys. Covered from head to foot in soot and dirt, he dances around gayly ( ye olde worlde meaning) and skips past puddles of filthy black sewerage.
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