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Funny story: New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons

New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons

Bombast, bullshit and bollocks were the order of the day in Parliament today, as so-called Prime Minister Boris Johnson outlined his plans for the future of the not-so-United Kingdom. After a dressing-down from Her Majesty the Queen on Wednesday a...

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Funny story: Bozo Johnson Concedes in Tory Leadership Race Citing "Back Problem"

Bozo Johnson Concedes in Tory Leadership Race Citing "Back Problem"

The favourite to become Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has removed himself from the Conservative party leadership contest after coming under mounting pressure following Sir Kim Darroch's resignation as British ambassador to Washington. Critics of Mr...

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Funny story: Ten Interesting Things You Didn't Know About Balham

Ten Interesting Things You Didn't Know About Balham

To some people Balham is a joke as they hurtle through it on the A24 making their way to Gatwick airport, but thousands of people live there in peace and harmony, apart from the raucous weekend night life. Here are ten interesting facts about Balham...

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Funny story: Wetherspoon's Profits Plunge by 19%: "Nothing to do with Brexit"

Wetherspoon's Profits Plunge by 19%: "Nothing to do with Brexit"

Profits at old gits pub chain JD Wetherspoon fell 19% in the six months to the end of January. Wetherspoon's weirdo chairman, Brexit cheerleader Tim Martin, the last living proponent of the mullet, hairstyle of the gods, immediately announced that it...

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Funny story: Wetherspoons Share Price Tumbles as Balham Pub Closes. Brexit "Not to Blame"

Wetherspoons Share Price Tumbles as Balham Pub Closes. Brexit "Not to Blame"

Trading in shares of old gits' pub chain JD Wetherspoons was suspended today after their value crashed on news that one of its flagship pubs The Moon Under Water in the London borough of Balham had been closed without notice. Although it was named...

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Funny story: The Balham Tourist Board Guide for Japanese Visitors

The Balham Tourist Board Guide for Japanese Visitors

Shopping. Balham is a Mecca for discerning shoppers from as far away as Tooting, and until the 1980s, even boasted its own "private shop", handily situated within two minutes' walk of the local secondary school. Unfortunately, concerned citizens, or "busybodies", as any self-respecting connoisseur of BDSM, unusual practices, and loose morals would call them, successfully campaigned to close it dow...

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Funny story: Wetherspoon to Stop Selling Champagne and Prosecco

Wetherspoon to Stop Selling Champagne and Prosecco

"Frankly, we don't give a toss" was the reaction of France's Champagne industry to the Wetherspoon announcement that the fusty old gits chain of pubs would cease selling Champagne and Prosecco. Shortly after his recent shock announcement that he w...

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Funny story: Wetherspoon Chairman Denies Quitting Social Media and Shuts Pubs Instead

Wetherspoon Chairman Denies Quitting Social Media and Shuts Pubs Instead

Today, in a prompt volte-face, JD Wetherspoon’s weirdo chairman Tim Martin, the last living proponent of the mullet, hair style of the gods, informed the stock exchange that, rather than quitting social media as widely reported, his pub chain was to...

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