Norland College produces Britain's most highly-qualified and sought-after nannies, the choice of royalty and public figures for generations. Now, the nannies, a distinctive sight in their perfectly-pressed uniforms, are to receive additional intensiv...
The Seeing Sloth, a guide animal school specializing in training sloths, has announced that the first guide animals will be available to the general public in the coming months, or perhaps years. Despite the fact that the school is called The See...
Wayne Rooney has promised to take Chicharito 'under his wing' and teach him all he needs to know both on and off the field. Rooney is planning to teach Chicharito how to speak 'Scouse' as well as some really neat 'pick up lines' for when they are...
al-Qaeda fanatics in Britain are being trained how to avoid detection. They are being trained to act 'gay'. A new terror training manual instructs Islamic extremists, if approached by women, to pretend they are gay. The very fact that some of th...
Troubled Man City star Mario Balotelli has been involved in another incident with the club. Its emerged that, only days after being sent off in the Champions League tie against Dynamo Kiev, the striker is alleged to have thrown a dart at a youth p...
Grampian Police are arranging one day training sessions to all their officers on how to use a push bike safely. Instructions on how to get on and off a bike as well as how to ring the bell are on offer as well as advanced training on how to get in...
Chelsea left back Ashley Cole is under investigation after an alleged shooting incident that left a job placement student with an air gun injury. The player, who was voted the best left back in the world last year, is alleged to have discharged a...
It has been revealed that the Foreign & Commonwealth Office has spent £120,000 on teaching civil servants to breathe and stand up straight. This is despite having to make cost savings of £300 million in its annual budget. Deputy Under Assistan...
The Ministry of Defence has announced today that, from early next year, the Royal Air Force will be getting rid of all of its aircraft except those used to ferry officers, MPs and minor royals. In a massive cost cutting exercise 327 fixed wing air...
Introduction: Offering Illegal Advice 1. Our job is to offer advice to government applicants so they are better able to utilize every service available even if it may not apply to them or be illegal. 2. We compiled the best advice available from top legal minds, Obama's best work as a lawyer was done here at ACORN (!), to use in order to help circumvent unfair government regulations. 3. R...
I just completed my training on how to see the future or the past with a crystal ball and for my first test, decided to find out how the hell did someone like George become our president, not once, but twice.
Kansas City, MO - In a press release this afternoon, Kansas City Police Chief Terry Sunderland announced a new format for training recruits. KC administration has been looking for ways to cut costly spending, and came to the conclusion that real worl...
Since US prisons have abandoned education and job training programs for the 2.2 million plus inmates in the corrections system, when an inmate is released chances are Hep C is all he will bring back to his community.
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