A Swiss guard at Vatican City blew his nose and woke up the Pope. Who then thought it was the Last Trumpet and thought the Rapture was taking place. The Pontiff was confused as to why he wasn’t ascending, nor were any of his cardinals, orioles, fe…
Warwick, NY The Jehovah's Witnesses announced today that they will be merging with the group The Family, formerly known as the Children of God. "We have been looking at ways to let people know about the coming Armageddon that we've changed the dat...
Every member of the Tea Party, Tea Party Patriots, National Tea Party Federation, and Nationwide Tea Part Coalition has disappeared without a trace. Incidentally, sources in the Horn of Africa have reported the inexplicable appearance of several m...
California - Armageddon Rapture or myocardial infarction rupture? According to a new translation of classic Mayan Calendar rants this Friday 21st October's Moon/Mars conjunction 'is the most likely day' for the God squad's arch doom peddler to final...
Sources close to Californian evangelist, Harold Camping-Holliday, announced earlier today that the end of the world has been postponed until Tuesday tea time BST. Camping-Holliday had previously announced with utter conviction that the world would...
Heaven's celestial scribe revealed via his Twitter feed, DaMetatron, that 24 Jews that ascended into Heaven during May 21st's Rapture were banished for scalping bogus tickets for what they characterized as "Seats Close To God". "They're in here by...
In preparation for the Rapture, which, according to some nutball who sells T-shirts is set to occur on May 21st, major US grocery stores have suspended acceptance of debit cards in favor of the Number Of The Beast, 666, tattooed to customer's heads.
London - An octogenarian US preacher's terrifying May 21 Judgement Day vision is little more than a classic Uranus/Saturn opposition psychosis. That's the consensus among astrologers who are reminding the public that Harold Camping's botched Septe...
Off Broadway, NY - The critically acclaimed hit show "The Rapture-Capital T Capital R" has suffered a major setback this week when the entire cast disappeared mysteriously, without a trace. Many understudies have turned up missing as well, putting an...
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