Donald Trump has proved once again that he is the cleverest man on Earth, when he was shown a picture of a giraffe, which he had never seen before, and recognised the animal. "It's truly unbelievable," said White House Doctor Geoff Brown. "His acu…
After a month of delay due to the coronavirus, the quarter finals of the FA Cup have been rescheduled. Teams were asked to carry out thorough coronavirus testing, and, if they pass, then the next round can be held in empty stadiums. Leicester were...
Tests carried out by Anthropologists trying to cheer up the population of rain sodden Wales have revealed that whatever happens to Venezuelans, they come up smiling and have an unshakable belief that things will get better. The controversial tests...
OAK BROOK, Illinois - McDonald's the fast food franchise that brought you the McEnchiladas and the McSushi has just developed another in a line of extraordinary menu items. Company Spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta stated that for the past seven months...
FLAGSTAFF, Arizona - According to recent research studies it appears that the once proud profession of laxative testers has gone the way of stagecoach drivers. The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has just released a year-long study which shows t...
To get a little extra cash, I decided to take on a sales job at night - right after my usual nine to five gig. I wanted to buy this girl a ring with a jewel in it. To be quite honest, I wanted to steal a nice ring with a jewel in it. I figured the best way to do this would be to get a jeweler's sales job. So I applied at several stores and after a month passed, Swearingen & Acme Jewelry Re...
PRINCETON, NJ: The Princeton University men's basketball team could not have been more thrilled upon receiving the 13th seed in the east bracket and matchup against the number 4 seeded Kentucky Wildcats in the NCAA Tournament. Despite being heavy und...
The survey, conducted by Fairleigh Dickinson University, was completed with self-identified students from both Princeton and Brown University. The results were based on whether the students had the ability to score a higher grade on the ACT now th...
Bad News today, for the remaining retail outlets that have not gone bankrupt in Nottingham. Local Councillor Mick Stupp explained: This new initiative will blend in with the 'Workplace Parking Levy', our 'Increased City Centre Car Parking Charges, and 'Selective Road Tolls'. It's handy for us that we have so many empty retail units in the City Centre, that we can use for PWLA (Pedestrian 'Wa...
A South London woman has failed her driving theory test 90 times at a cost of £2,790. Now, even if she manages to pass the test, no examiner can be found to take her for her practical. The Driving Standards Agency disclosed details of the 26-ye...
US Soldiers are to issued white tunics with red crosses and swords for the Afghan Holy Wars. Richard the Lionheart has been called on to return and replace General Petraeus as Chief of Central Command and Knight Templar for the New Eastern Crusades! TRUE STORY : The US Army has introduced Spirituality Tests for troops. Those who do not show sufficient belief in God are to be black-listed an...
Reports are coming in that crocked serial philanderer Ashley Cole has been sending explicit text messages to Swedish speed-skating sensation Ivana Phuque after seeing her on TV From what we have been able to ascertain, there is no evidence to sugg...
Children at the Smegmadale-on-Sea Church of Latter Day Morons Primary School will no longer be presented with a short list of words to learn each week as teachers believe it leaves them distressed and feeling like failures. Teenagers attending Sme...
To settle a bar bet, Jonathan Williams, leader of Arayan Nation faction "The Church of Jesus Christ Christian," underwent genetic testing to discover his ancestry.
Imagine spending ten years in prison for murder and then because of DNA testing you find out you didn't do it!I bet you'd be relieved! Well, that's how I, John Wayne Fresno felt this week when this exact thing happened to me.
Minneapolis -- For gluing two pieces of wood together, there's Elmer's white glue, or Gorilla Glue. For plastics, there's Superglue. For construction purposes, there's Liquid Nails. But what kind of glue do you use for harmless p...
The exhumed body of three times Formula 1 World Champion Ayrton Senna topped testing times today at the Jerez circuit in Spain. Riding a rust unicycle the Brazilian lapped the circuit in 1 minute exactly, bettering false champion Micheal Schumacher&#...
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