$140 trillion is not a misprint. It is 9am, and you heard it here first. Here’s how it occurred. At a hastily-convened 6am meeting, President Trump told his cabinet that he “realized” when he was twittering at 3am, that, for $10 trillion, we could...
President Donald Trump announced recently that he is halting funding to the White House Occupant (WHO) while his administration reviews the handling of the coronavirus, accusing the WHO of bungling the response and failing to communicate the disease’...
This week CNS News reported that the government spent nearly a quarter of a million dollars to "translocate" a single bush that stood in the way of a $1 billion highway improvement near San Franscisco. The plant, a rare "in-the-wild" Arctostaphyl...
Washington DC: A new Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) study apologizes for the federal government's junk science blaming Carbon Dioxide (CO2) for causing climate change. The real culprit is stinky feet. The EPA was examining regulating the o...
David Cameron has been outlining what will make the London 2012 Olympics the best that has ever been. "The London Olympics are a true British enterprise," said Cameron. "We bid for them several years ago with the intention of stimulating the econo...
Washington, DC -- The US Treasury Department is introducing a program designed to stimulate the US economy from the bottom up. Called "Do-It-Yourself Dollars," the effort provides software American taxpayers can use to print their own cash. "Now,...
President Barrack Obama is taking credit for creating 100 billion, 740 million hand jobs since taking office. "That's three times the number of hand jobs created under the past three presidents combined, and more than double the amount of hand jobs c...
In a poll conducted by The Harvard Institute of Silly Surveys That Waste Government Money But Provide Work For Tenured Professors, Lazy Students and ACORN Workers, Anal Seepage was voted "The Least Favorite Thing To Find In A Chair." The study fo...
Denver Colorado - UPDATE 1 Google has announced that it is ready to test its cars on the new intersections, but wishes to do so without humans on board. Government spokesman Mr. Phil Resastum of NAAATT (National American Automotive Association...
Democrats are urging that the President send every American family $1,000 in another effort to stimulate the economy. "The $250 we sent out before wasn't enough to get people spending once again", stated Barney Frank. "Now Americans are beginning...
Negative campaign advertising during the recent midterm elections injected $800 billion into the American economy. "The combination of a glut of billionaires, low taxes on billionaires, and a Supreme Court decision allowing anonymous campaign spen...
A doctoral dissertation funded by the Federal Government as part of the Stimulus Package has discovered that men like women's breasts. Dr. Howard Dickwillie of the Nowhere Institute of Technology and Fertilizer Sciences, in an eighteen month stu...
Renovations have begun on the electrical wiring and plumbing of the White House, adding up to somewhere along the lines of $376 million. On-site construction administrators say the nearly century-old infrastructure is dangerous, but some are question...
WASHINGTON, DC - Senior aide to President Obama, David Plouffe, warned Congressional Democrats to avoid the use of the word "package" when talking about stimulus "plans". He said that "package" can have negative connotations, especially if an Afri...
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama released his new Advanced Stimulus System (ASS), that he touts as "twice as good as the last plan". Although the details of the plan won't be released until next week, he outlined the cost and the benefits: "Wh...
Afghan politicians, drug lords, Taliban Chieftains, CIA informants and Al Qaeda fighters all stood in line today as the run on the Bank of Kabul extended into a second day prompting the major stockholder to call on the US for 'just another little bai...
The Federal Government is hiring at a record pace. Initially that might seem a good thing in this distressed economy but it brings along some negative baggage. Specifically, these new hires are often not fully trained in the subtleties and nuances of public service. To that end the Office of Employment and Budget has began teaching classes for these recruits at various locations throughout the...
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