London - Crown jewelers have welded night vision goggles to the Queen's tiara in case she flips out on Friday when the Big Light in the sky goes awol. A powerful solar eclipse will see much of the United Kingdom blacked out in the morning in fulfi...
New York - Astrologers are still working on the karmic implications of the phenomenon which will create a once-in-a-lifetime shadow path transiting much of the New York City tri-state area - as if the East Coast needs such a reality check! Mostly...
London - The MoD confirmed today it was monitoring the flypast anthem ahead of Tuesday's Vernal Equinox. A tip-off from the International Space Station saw RAF jets scrambled to check out intelligence taht an alien mothership is about to suck up i...
London - Successive solar and lunar eclipses have failed to cleanse North London's premier pagan hot spot of decades of luvvies' toxic crap. This Tuesday karmic pest control in the guise of the Druids' annual Vernal Equinox parade up the iconic R...
London - The equinoctial rollercoaster countdown begins today amid reports that 'articles spumed from the wrecked nuke plants' will affect 9 out of 10 of the tabloid's readers. Radioactive fumes being carried on a wave of hysteria have already pen...
London - (Portents): The sky's on celestial viagra this Sunday as stunning astrological tumescence heralds the start of the zodiac's new year. The Aries Sun trines with Mars, sexybeast god of war in the sign of Leo, celestial big puss and cat-tha...
Pope Benedictine XIV today delivered a rather muddled Easter message in Rome today, causing much confusion amongst the thousands of faithful gathered there, and even some heckling. 'Ave Romani', the German said, 'today is Easter Sunday, and I stan...
Off-the-Wall-St - (Armageddingouttahere Mess): Global financial markets' numerology watchers are unequivocal: Thursday's turbulent spring equinox heralds a potentially lethal Good Friday full Moon and cosmic 'grand cross' in the zodia...
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Not content with having banned traditional bonfire night fireworks celebrations on North London's Primrose Hill five years ago on the spurious grounds of susceptibility to terrorism attacks, the Royal Parks Agency...
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