Britain is set to reclaim a title it hasn't held since the 1970s - the sick man of Europe. The award is given annually by the European Sickness Bureau (BSE) and in the last few years has been given to Russia, Poland and Turkey. "We're very proud t…
After decades of not giving a shit, the American public has finally decided to pretend to care about the crippling disease ALS by pouring icy-cold water over their faces. While most can easily wipe off their wet grins, ALS stricken teen Oliver Perry...
According to Mr & Mrs Franklin Getz, a trip on a criese ship is like going into a hospital. Odd are pretty good that you will come down with something that you didn't go for. "Like a hospital, if one person is sick and it can be caught by othe...
MOBILE, Alabama - Julie Pabst, a spokesperson for The Happy As Heck Ocean Tours based in Mobile, Alabama talked about the recent incident aboard their cruise ship The Seductress of The Sea. Miss Pabst, a strikingly attractive single blonde woman,...
It hasn't been quite as bad as the pessimists predicted, in that there has been no influenza pandemic so far, with cases on a par with the seasonal average. However, there has been a dramatic decline in Man-Flu cases since people finished work for th...
Just when everybody had virtually forgotten all about the cruel jibes aimed at Katie Price's son, Harvey, by Scottish comedian, Frankie Boyle, Ms Price resurrected the whole affair by making a fly on the wall TV documentary about what a bastard Boyle...
Those nearly one hundred guests at a big party last week at the Playboy Mansion, who were previously thought to have come down with Legionnaires Disease, do not all have it according to a Doctor Harold Linsberg who is in charge in finding the cause...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was left feeling decidedly sorry for himself this morning after contracting what is thought to be the potentially deadly Umbongo virus. Facing up to the virus with typical male grit, courage and determination, Shuttle...
Leaked memos from the new Republican caucus in the US House of Representatives indicate that sweeping changes are going to be made to the First Amendment of the constitution of the United States. "Puking in Public and Inciting to Riot will constitute...
Newly released movie, The Human Centipede, directed by some off the wall Dutch geezer named Six, has been branded "SICK SICK SICK!" by members of the Gosport Ladies Sewing Circle. "It's just SICK SICK SICK!" fumed Nellie Wainwright of Rowner. "In...
Gomer Pyle, a local fork lift truck driver was astonished when his doctor informed him that he was suffering from piles, or haemorrhoids, and gave him a sick note for a week, because piles are no laughing matter, as the doctor knew only too well, bei...
Dear Dr Mahavishnu, I am drunk, and tomorrow I'll be hung-over, do you know any miracle cures? Yours headachingly, Steve 'Acer' Woodchuck Dear 'Quite Inexpensive' Steve There are but 4 guaranteed solutions to your predicament young Liver Lasher 1) Stay Drunk - Forever 2) Get Drunker - Let the hospital detox do its magic 3) Chicken Soup with rusty nails in (digestion of nails...
When the 06:30 South West Trains service left Salisbury bound for London Waterloo yesterday morning, everything seemed normal.
To help the worldwide food crisis brought on by President Bush, hundreds of barrels of manatee vomit made into loaves were shipped in to the hideously disgusting African port of Ngumbobzuti Zhambouti on cargo ships this week.
A budding Australian criminal who was so nervous during a hold-up that he was physically sick has been incriminated by his own disgusting pool of puke.
The rock band Probe has become the focus of accusations from the medical community who say their music is causing listeners to feel sick.
A Midwestern farm, ZOOM IN on a BLACK CROW, sitting on the edge of a small opening in the side of a huge metal FARM SHED. ZOOM through the window to reveal that the Black Crow is listening intently to what two caged CHICKENS are saying.
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