At 9:23 PM last night Elizabeth Township Police were called to The Mills at Jersey Gardens Mall responding to reports of a small angry man wearing clown makeup “spitting on people and common surfaces” indiscriminately. Police apprehended the man…
JOPLIN, Missouri – (Satire News) – Police in Joplin, Missouri have taken Wally B. Haymarket into custody after receiving dozens of complaints from local residents. It appears that Wally, who stands 6-foot-10-inches tall, but weighs only 142 pounds…
Amagansett NY - Shoppers will soon have a place to pee with the construction of a new public restroom. After promising residents for more than twelve years, the town has finally begun work on a public restroom in the hamlet's downtown parking lot.
Shoppers at Gateshead's largest shopping centre had to leave hurriedly when the centre began to spin around faster than usual. A team of retail scientists specializing in shopping centres rushed to the scene, and pinpointed the exact centre of the...
PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer has just announced that the bill which allows merchants to refuse to have gays and lesbians in their stores has passed. Governor Brewer said that it is a great day in Arizona now that the bill known as The Fairy Shopp...
Consignment centers all over Louisville experienced what one businessman said was the "anti Target" effect. Customers infuriated with Target's inability to safeguard their data, even though they became expert at guessing when a woman was goin...
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