His barley roots notwithstanding, Captain Jack, a whisky of Scotch descent from Brown Water, Missouri, is still feeling his oats. "I get antsy," he said. "I just can't sit distilled." Although aged for over a decade, Captain Jack is not willing to...
High winds and strong seas are hampering the search for Scotland, which disappeared two weeks ago. Only when Alex Salmond Rushdie, the first minister tried to return home after a garden party at Buckingham Palace did the government notice it was no...
Alexei Salmon, Jacobite King in waiting and a descendant of William Wallace is set to charge down with a broadsword on horseback with Catalonian mercenaries and take the pasty faced Sassenachs by surprise when he wins the Independence referendum next...
Giovanni O'Malley, owner of O'Malley's, the only Irish Italian tavern on Staten Island, held a press conference on Wednesday to update his followers on the status of negotiations with the US Government for the withdrawal of Staten Island from the uni...
EMMAUS PA - News from the Broad Street Saloon in Emmaus, PA is backing up global warming, despite the cooked results previously reported. Scientists there noticed that while drinking scotch on the rocks, that the rocks melted. As this melt transpir...
GLASGOW, Scotland - Scottish sots held a drive-a-thong to cut sots alcohol abuse. Drinking, scantily-clad, driving ministers screamed that action was needed to reform the Scottish drinking culture, as they careened by, honking, belching and weaving.
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