In an incident that will surprise many readers, a man who was eating his breakfast has reported how he became aware of a song blaring out of loudspeakers at a local wedding that, although it was considered a classic in its day, drips with such sadnes…
After fending off its advances for years, Wayne Mason of Nashville, Tennessee, finally allowed depression to have its way with him. “Very seductive,” said Mason of the existential, twisted thoughts with which depression ultimately lured him in. “U...
“I’ve never been to Eastern Europe, but I’ve definitely experienced the Black Sea,” said Darren Davis of Nashville, Tennessee, regarding his recent drop into the depths of depression. “Unless you’ve got some hardcore deep-sea diving experience, I wou...
Lovable red Muppet, Elmo is sad because Elmo has been told to stop talking in the third person. Elmo doesn't understand this, as Elmo is only a young Muppet, although he has been on the show for years, and knows things about life that even Happy M...
Braxton, Mississippi - Henry Johnson Jr., a Mississippi Delta blues singer, was fired from his job at an auto tire shop by his own wife today, who then had sex with another man she hired to replace him. "The other man had no auto tire shop experie...
The elusive algebraic formula for a miserable life has at last been determined by a group of really fed-up researchers. The 'Feeling Crap Formula' (FCF) combines the most significant factors that make us sad, so that we can incorporate them into o...
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