NB:The following was written one day before Tony Blackburn got it in the neck from the Beeb. The Chief CEO at Chapbrooks betting firm is a retired army major. Our sports reporter at "U-R-FKD" magazine called around to see him to explain Chapbrooks...
A spokesman for Buckingham Palace has confirmed rumours circulating in London that the Royal corgis were amongst Rolf Harris' victims of sexual abuse. However rumours of a foursome involving the Duchess of Cornwell have been hotly denied by the Ro...
The Jimmy Savile Inquiry into paedophilia that has been ongoing since October 2012 has been officially closed. Sir Winston Pike conducting the inquiry said that the case has been officially closed from lack of reliable evidence. "After due consul...
Disgraced Australian celebrity Rolf Harris had his various awards stripped from him while he is in jail. The extensive collection of plaudits conferred on Harris by the Oz government were all rescinded yesterday. Speaking to one of our reporters v...
In a bold attempt to clamp down on historic sexual offences against minors or women, the London Metropolitan Police have decided to randomly searched all homes of pop singers and TV presenters from the 1970's, with the aim of finding some evidence of...
An extremely bad taste haunted walk attraction has opened in Madame Tossard's Chamber of Horrors in London. Having to compete with The London Dungeon and various other scary museums, Mme Tossard's has sexed up its act. Mme Tossard, the C.E.O. tol...
Shares in Edinburgh Tattoo, the high class tattoo studio chain, received a boost at close of trading last night after it was rumoured that it had contacted Balmoral Body Art, the place where Prince Andrew was rumoured to have had his famous "Mother"...
Wakefield Prison in Yorkshire dubbed Monster Mansion because of the particularly evil serial killers and brutal murderers held inside its grounds is building a special Celebrity Beast wing to hold the influx of once liked but now hated famous people...
Aliens using adapted drones stolen from the U.S. Naval Base in Rota, Cadiz may be responsible for the growing list of Australian Celebrities who have disappeared from the public eye. Celebrities like Dame Edna, Clive James, Skippy The Bush Kangar...
Skippy the bush kangaroo, the iconic television star of the show of the same name has come forward after years of abuse. In a tearful display exhibiting sadness and shock, she explained what had happened between her and Harris. Rolf Harris has been s...
Jamie Dyson, cousin of genius, James "Bagless" Dyson has reverse engineered everyone's least favourite Xmas present, the Stylophone in time for Christmas 2014. All traces of Rolf Harris and his black bearded Beatnik image have been removed from the c...
London - A 2005 oil on canvas of Queen Elizabeth executed by convicted Oz pervert Rolf Harris has 'vanished' from Prince George's nursery at Kensington Palace. Commissioned to mark her 80th birthday the 8ft by 6ft portrait was first hung in 2007...
London - She's been told to take it easy as alleged old perv Rolf Harris slugs it out in the dock at London's Central Criminal Court this week. The octogenarian Oz entertainer has been charged with stuff despite being appointed Royal Pissartist -...
London, UK - The Chinese Year of the Wooden Horse which starts at the end of January is looking increasingly spooky for the Oz entertainer. Harris, who was born in the Chinese Wooden Horse year of 1930, now sees what astrologers term 'natal stuff...
London - The 83 year-old Oz entertainer's cult status is on the rocks as Brit vice cops probe what he's been up to and stuff in the ongoing Operation YewDirtyOldManTree investigation. Harris, 69, was rearrested this morning answering bail after de...
Octogenarian, Antipodean artist Rolf Harris has created a controversial title sequence for long-running US animation The Simpsons. The intro, which was shown in the US on Sunday, opens with the Didgeridoo loving Rolf slapping paint randomly on to...
A slight typographic error from Rolf Harris has inadvertently increased tension between England and Australia ahead of the Ashes. The genial Aussie painter, entertainer and wobble-board player heard of the England team's injury problems, losing Gr...
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