BILLINGSGATE POST: If Wile E Biden had his way, the Trump Runner would be banned from Planet Earth - and beyond. It’s nightfall in the Sonoran Desert. For as long as anyone can remember, when the relentless sun goes down, falling below the horiz…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Some of the author’s readers might recall stories where he has written about Wile E Coyote and the Road Runner. Now, with some license requested, the reader will be transformed into an imaginary world, where they will be made witne…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Elmer Smuckmeister thought he had seen everything Beaver Crossing had to offer: From cow pie-tossing contests to the unveiling, in the town square, of a 100-foot monument to the Unknown Beaver (which some of the local pinch mouths…
BILLINGSGATE POST: ACME Anvil Ltd. announced the purchase of Manchester United from Malcom Glazer today in a hostile takeover that left Man U followers hopeful for better days. ACME, an offshore conglomerate located on Grand Cayman Island, also owns...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Of course, no one dumb enough to bet on Wile E Coyote to beat the Road Runner should entrust his bankroll to Detrick “Dirty Trick” Detwiler. But that, as simple a doctrine as could be, nevertheless, is violated on a daily basis by...
BILLINGSGATE POST: The only thing missing from this Norman Rockwell picture is his signature. The tranquil Sonoran Desert setting, where hundreds of episodes memorializing the epic battles between the Trump Runner and his sinister foil, none other...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Cast against a blue, gray Sonoran Desert sky, the Four Horsemen of Wile E Mueller rode again. In Biblical lore, they were known as Famine, Pestilence, Destruction, and Death. These are only aliases. Their real names are Comey, Rob...
BILLINGSGATE POST: In the beginning there was nothing. In the middle there was nothing. And after over one year later, there is still nothing. And nothing pisses off Wile E Mueller more than hearing the MEEP MEEP! of the pesty Trump Runner as he b...
BILLINGSGATE POST:: In the beginning, under the remote skies of the Arizona desert, there was nothing that would draw the eye of the raven into focus quicker than the epic confrontation of the Trump Runner and Wile E Mueller. This was before the co...
BILLINGSGATE POST: The tortuous twists and turns of this epic battle between the Trump Runner and Wile E Mueller, who some say is being funded by the ACME Corporation, has reached the point of diminishing returns. The ACME Corporation, which i...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Some of my faithful readers might recall recent stories where I have written about Wile E Coyote and the ACME Corporation. Now, with some license requested, I have taken it upon myself to recast the epic confrontations between Wile E Coyote and the Road Runner in a modern setting. Using the original list of rules implemented by Chuck Jones to set strict rules of engagement betwe...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Negotiations between ISIS and Wile E. Coyote broke down yesterday after ISIS offered Wile E. their standard, blue-plate 72 Virgin Road Runner Special if he would join their terrorist group. Unlike General McAuliffe, who respond...
BILLINGSGATE POST: In the on-going saga of Coyote vs Road Runner, an escalation engineered by the ever-devious Road Runner confused the GPS setting on the ACME HellFire missile, resulting in a total malfunction of the tracking device, causing it to...
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a preliminary hearing, Judge Amos Whitaker ruled that Wile E. Coyote be allowed to use an unmanned aerial vehicle (UAV) to attack Road Runner. Despite arguments by Road Runner that this would give Coyote an unfair advantage an...
Acme Corporation is reporting a huge profit upswing this month. Acme is the chief supplier of underwater doo-dads for BP Corporation, the sponsors of what is now the largest oil spill ever. BP has been buying heavily from Acme in its attempts to up c...
Road Runner was killed today in what is being described as a terrible accident. Nemesis Wile E. Coyote had apparently laid an obvious trap for the fast-legged avian but somehow managed to actually not do a half-arsed enough job, and killed the critte...
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