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GOP Selects the Turtle as its New Mascot

Funny story: GOP Selects the Turtle as its New Mascot

Washington, DC - Since 1874 the Republican Party has been symbolized by the elephant, in contrast to the Democratic Party's donkey. Yesterday the GOP announced that it will no longer use the elephant in any advertising or other campaigns. After...

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Batman Unanimously Named Republican Presidential Candidate

By wild acclamation, Republicans have elected Batman to run as the party's presidential nominee. Donald Trump, claiming that he owns Gotham City, railed against the convention's decision. "I bet Batman's dick is just, full-throttle, 2 inches lon...

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Trump promises to 'make it interesting' if he doesn't do well in New Hampshire.

Republican frontrunner Donald Trump is promising to 'make it interesting' and campaign shirtless if he doesn't do well in New Hampshire and has said he's prepared to go 'all the way' if necessary in the lead up to Super Tuesday. Throwing fistfuls...

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Surprise Late Entry into Republican Primary

DETROIT--On Wednesday morning, reporters gathered in the Motor City to hear legendary rocker Vincent Furnier--better known as Alice Cooper-- announce that he was vying to run for president under the Republican banner. Cooper added that, in an unusua...

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Move over Trump! This 100-foot robot with an American flagpole cock is the new Republican darling!

Funny story: Move over Trump! This 100-foot robot with an American flagpole cock is the new Republican darling!

WASHINGTON, DC - Standing at a modest 18-full-grown-men tall, the sentient wrecking ball that is Koktor is setting fire to recent Republican polls. Having arrived on the political stage just days after defending the Pacific coast from a radioactive o...

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Donald Trump Sports Hitler Haircut

Attendees at a recent Republican debate were surprised to see Donald Trump sporting a "Hitler" haircut, complete with a toothbrush mustache tattooed onto his upper lip. Before the words "Definite improvement" or "Accurate reflection of the man's id...

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Anuta Polynesian Tribe Releases Statement to Preemptively Respond to a Potential Donald Trump Verbal Attack

Funny story: Anuta Polynesian Tribe Releases Statement to Preemptively Respond to a Potential Donald Trump Verbal Attack

ANUTA ISLAND- "He's going to get around to insulting us sooner or later" was the sentiment echoed by the Anuta tribe of smallest inhabited location on the planet. The inhabitants of the tiny Polynesian island, Anuta, have released a statement whic...

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FOX News Releases Coiffe of August 6th Republican Myiasis

Funny story: FOX News Releases Coiffe of August 6th Republican Myiasis

(New York) FOX News President Roger Ailes, in association with the New York State Athletic Commission President Tom Hoover and the Ohio Athletic Commission Chairman Tim Ochsenhirt, this morning outlined the protocol and procedures that have been adop...

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Fiorina Surges In Polls

Presidential hopeful Carly Fiorina has emerged as the new frontrunner in the race for the republican nomination. Figures from the latest polls show her ahead by at least 69 percentage points. The surge was attributed to a recent change in her campaig...

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Ted Nugent considered as GOP Vice Presidential candidate

Funny story: Ted Nugent considered as GOP Vice Presidential candidate

New York, NY With the Romney campaign entering full Vice-Presidential Candidate search mode, our investigative reporting uncovered a document floating a surprising name as a potential candidate: Ted Nugent. After much snooping, we retrieved a...

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GOP Primary Voters Would Like to Use One of Their Lifelines Please

Faced with an unpleasant choice in a rapidly narrowing but still unappealing field of presidential hopefuls, Republican voters this week asked television host Meredith Vieira if they could please use one of their lifelines to help them pick the corre...

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The Santorum Sanitarium - Rick Santorum Speaks Up About Mental Health

Funny story: The Santorum Sanitarium - Rick Santorum Speaks Up About Mental Health

Yesterday afternoon, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum flabbergasted supporters at a campaign rally in western Arizona by discussing the often-taboo issue of mental health - including that of himself and the other presidential candidate...

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Newt Gingrich Gets Hold of Romney's Etch A Sketch and Shakes up the Republican Presidential Race

Funny story: Newt Gingrich Gets Hold of Romney's Etch A Sketch and Shakes up the Republican Presidential Race

The entire Republican presidential race took an unexpected turn when Newt Gingrich got hold of Mitt Romney's etch a sketch and shook the crap out of it. The incident occurred at a Houma, Louisiana gumbo bar called Mumbo Dumbo's Gumbo where both cand...

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Romney Urges Americans to Eat More Red Meat

Funny story: Romney Urges Americans to Eat More Red Meat

In an effort to solidify support in the Midwest, Mitt Romney held a press conference in Jefferson City, Missouri, to address what he called a "glaring gap" in Republican policy: nutrition. Romney told carnivorous voters that Missouri, the second-lead...

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Mitt Romney's Travel Menu Confirms a Bland Candidate

Funny story: Mitt Romney's Travel Menu Confirms a Bland Candidate

Accidentally falling into the hands of reporters yesterday, Mitt Romney's campaign bus travel menu may indicate more about the candidate than he would prefer. Like other candidates on the campaign trail, Romney travels with his own cooking staff a...

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Sanatorium "Return to Family Values"

Funny story: Sanatorium "Return to Family Values"

Risk Sanatorium, trying to be the strong conservative in the GOP Primary sweepstakes, picked up on the announcement from the Pentagon that more women in US armed forces will be serving in the front line. "Oh no!" he exclaimed, "This is not the w...

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Gingrich Lobbies Tiger Woods for Support in Florida

Funny story: Gingrich Lobbies Tiger Woods for Support in Florida

Emerging like a Phoenix in South Carolina after his second wife dropped the infidelity bomb on him, Newt Gingrich is now lobbying Tiger Woods for campaign support in Florida, says "they're kindred spirits". Referring to Tiger's ability to launch a...

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Chuck Norris to Represent Chuck Norris Party in Bid for Presidency

Funny story: Chuck Norris to Represent Chuck Norris Party in Bid for Presidency

Following what many believe to be examples of ridiculous and juvenile leadership styles from the Republican candidates on the debate trail as well as from the Democrats in Washington, Chuck Norris has decided to take the U.S. Presidency in 2013. No...

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Breaking news…

Trump Family Publishes List of Places They Will Build New Trump Hotels

Coincidentally, they are all located in countries with no extradition treaty with the U.S.
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