Washington D.C. - The CDC made an announcement today that rocked the world of street-performing mimes and silenced a rumor that has permeated their culture. "We have inarguable proof," said Fredrick Paulson, 43, a spokesperson for the Center For D…
Diners at a respectable fish restaurant, expecting a 'haute cuisine' plate of their favorite meal, fish and chips, got a rude surprise as fanatical vegans rushed in and, whipped the fish off their plates! They replaced prime Dover Sole, Cod and Halib...
Montgomery Ala.: Creation scientist have issued a dire warning against eating pizza. Ford Cellars, of the Bible Center for Spiritual Research said they have evidence that consumption of the cuisine may lead to pedophila. "We've kept a close e...
In an odd twist to the ever bizarre story of Kentucky clerk Kim Davis, a new interview in Christian Bigot Magazine unveils more secrets of the so-called conservative. "When I'm home alone, which ain't often with four ex husbands and several basta...
Violence has erupted in Nestle Presents New Uganda. Dozens of angry UFO enthusiasts have seized control of the Central Bank proclaiming "Martian Law". Authorities have mobilized the countries' four tanks and half a helicopter in an attempt to def...
As everyone on earth now knows - this is my third column on this - beings from the planet Sophia 69 have taken over all of earth's Internet, social media, TV, and radio transmissions in recent days. Details of how this has affected media content...
VATICAN CITY - Two white doves that were released by children standing alongside Pope Francis as a peace gesture have been attacked by a large raven. The doves were pounced on right after they were set free from an open window of the Apostolic Pal...
Pastor John Slaughter today was handed the NRA gavel to preside over the most powerful pro-gun lobby in the U.S. His sudden assent to be the gun group's top man was occasioned by former CEO, Wayne La Pisse, severely wounding himself through careless...
The Washington Post recently cited a poll claiming that 55% of Americans believe that President Obama lied when he promised that people could keep their health plans. While this sounds ominous for the President, it is not, if one understands what Americans mean when they say they believe in something. A few examples, all true and taken from scientifically valid polls: 1.
Mildred Kundalinin Stainless, finally, and after many extradition applications confirmed her name, and place of residence in front of Bolton Crown Court today. Mz Stainless was defiant in the face of the misconduct, embezzlement, and insurance...
Rick Santorum, gitty from last night's Caucus win in Iowa asks a local farmer to provide him a chicken fetus to sing songs to and cuddle over night in hotel room. J.R. McDonald, 92 yrs old Northern Iowa farmer, was taken aback at first when Rick m...
Controversial American preacher Terry Janes has provoked widespread outrage and condemnation from the international community with his latest comments concerning the Japanese earthquake and Tsunami. According to Janes the Tsunami visited on the Japan...
The electronic implant which has helped blind people to see is seen by most people as a marvellous leap forward, or at least thought to be a marvellous leap forward by some who haven't had it yet, but a group of religious fanatics is threatening to d...
Branson, Missouri - Andy Schlafly, son of Phyllis Schlafly, is picking up where his mother left off. "She was always too liberal", he said in an interview. "Sure, she campaigned against women's rights, but you'll note that she never campaigned agai...
Religious extremists took to the streets in Luton to protest. Both male and female protesters were present. The male protesters were dressed in black with white dog collars. The female protesters were covered from head to foot in what appeared to be...
TEHRAN-- Iran's minister of defense is reporting that the Islamic Republic of Iran will soon unveil its new homemade fighter jet known as "Azarakhsh," -- loosely translated as "Penis of Allah". Iranian General Mustafa Najar stated that the govern...
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