A man who was the victim of an attack by piranha fish in the South American Amazon Basin, has said the animals were so ferocious, and the attack so sustained, he felt he was literally being "eaten alive". Ernesto Sanchez was on a camping trip in a...
Hackers with Orwellophiles-‘R-Us have disclosed important information from the aftermath of the failed meeting between Kim Jong Un and the US back in February, 2019. Corporation media lately have suggested Mr. Kim had removed as many as five impor...
SAN DIEGO - The seafood fast food franchise chain that is based in San Diego, California has decided to take its Piranha Sandwich off the menu. Elmendorf Butterbox, spokesperson for Long John Silver's said that the reason was due to the fact that...
A small village in Sussex has been blighted by an invasion of Amazonian Piranha fish. The pond that dominates the centre of the village has seen a decline in its wildlife over the past six months with reports of duck and swan suddenly disappearing...
A young fisherman in Bolivia committed suicide in the most awesome distressing way yesterday. He took his trusty two man boat (the SS Clinically Depressed) out onto a stretch of river that was known locally as "Wie sobberus do solim goeous" which rou...
A shoal of deadly Amazon Piranhas attacked a Thames tug in broad daylight today and after gnawing at her bottom for 5 minutes, she sunk without trace. Experts were called in to investigate the incident and nobody seems to know where these dastardl...
Surprising most who found the man still figuratively alive and unscathed from the hundreds of omnivores surrounding him in a close-knit community of newspaper professionals, one fairly obtuse hack writer with good intent, emerged for the last time from the London journalist's favorite watering hole without so much as a nibble on his pinkie. Mr. Pat Wohm began adulthood as an above average Engli...
Mr Syril Oilslik, proprietor of Fresh Fish & Chips Of Folkstone, had a shock when he pulled a Piranha out of his fryer. "It leapt off the scoop and went over the counter attacking one of my customers"! Mrs Edna Sproket said she had been stand...
It sounds like a Monty Python sketch - 'The Dead Piranha Sketch'. At first, mystery surrounded the discovery of a 14 inch piranha in a Devon River. Environment agency staff were sampling the riverbank were amazed to discover the strange looking f...
What began as a cool prize won 3 years ago at the county fair has ended in bloodshed this past Sunday as Little Woowoo was violently bludgeoned to death in self defense by his once proud owner. "Yeah, I was like 7 years old when I won that fish,"...
A disgruntled pedicurist substituted carnivorous Brazilian piranhas for trendy, callous-chomping carp at a fashionable New York City spa resulting in the chewing up of twenty-one toes, five heels, and three bunions of the spa's well-to-do clients...
Laguna Negra, Brazil A heretofore unknown Brazilian dog trainer has created a new protection dog which is taking the dog world by storm according to reports in the Journal Of Canine Hermeneutics. The trainer, Peinhador Luzad...
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