The somewhat small but enthusiastic world of collectable lawn mowers is today buzzing with excitement as a crime victim is reunited with his beloved stolen Hickston-Brax 4 stroke cylinder lawn mower. Brian Anorak, who was temporarily only in posse…
Legendary Swindon 105.5FM radio celebrity Brian Anorak has had his lawnmower stolen and claims that mainstream media are ignoring the story as, ‘It doesn’t fit their narrative’. Brian, whose problem-solving radio show, ‘Ask the Anorak’, which help…
‘The success of this operation will spoil things for criminals for weeks or days, or at least until this afternoon,’ said Commissioner Dick. ‘I am convinced this is a major contribution to the disruption of organised crime and even some disorganised…
Keeping one's head down and maintaining a low profile, especially when in a foreign country, is always a good idea, but one man thinks he may have overstepped his boundaries after he received an unexpected gift from an as-yet unknown benefactor. M...
An Unexplained Wealth Order has been served on a 92-year-old matriarch who is at the head of an organised crime syndicate, according to a secret report seen by The Spoof's Crime Editor, Paxton Quigley. The gang's leader goes by the childhood nicknam...
Ex East-Enders actor Ross 'The Real Deal' Kemp was reported missing today whilst filming another episode of Ross Kemp On Gangs in Salford. A distraught production assistant who declined to be named for fear of reprisals said: 'We tried to warn...
An estimated 800 convicted babies, some of them up to 19 months old have been granted pardons after DNA tests proved some of them were not even born at the time the alleged crimes were comitted. Investigations by the Internal Affairs Department i...
New York, NY Donald Trump has announced that he has become a devotee of Scientology, auditing with his solid gold e-meter and expelling body thetans from his hair by the millions. "I absolutely love the Church of Scientology, what with all the c...
Dateline: NEW YORK--A cabal of Wall Street bankers runs a global crime syndicate that buys the regulators of their industry, rigs the rules of the market, and uses convoluted financial instruments and bogus mathematical models to siphon cash from the...
Howard Beach, Queens - Tired of seeing their criminal gains decline due to a shrinking economy and legislative indifference, the leading organized crime families in America have joined forces to take over the US government. "Youse won't be hearing...
The eight Scottish police forces are to merge over the next year to save administration costs. "This will allow us to save money," said stereotypical Scot and leader of the Scottish Parliament, Michael Moore. "Something all stereotypical Scots sho...
Jimmy Hoffa, the former union leader and mob boss who disappeared under mysterious circumstances, had been found. It was long believed that he was buried under Giant's Stadium (a.k.a. The Meadowlands), but no body was ever discovered. With the cu...
BROOKLYN - Salvatore "The Pizzaman" Goombalini, who is the head of the Goombalini Family, which is one of New York City's most infamous mob organizations has stated that the nation's economic crisis is literally killing his 'company.' Sal did apo...
A catalogue mail-order firm has today admitted that its popular home shopping catalogue is in fact run by the Triads and is a window for organised crime and people trafficking. Catalogue manager, Salo Return, made this astonishing revelation in po...
A film catching up on the Bugsy Malone story is being planned. Set seventy years later, the film sees Malone as an East End London gangster with a variety of henchmen.
You could almost hear the mandolin play as Scooterino Libbini violated the code of silence in the mob family trial of the former consiglieri of the Bushfoono crime organization. Libbini sang like a Sicilian canary as he accused Bushfoono higher-ups o...
Florida - (Ass Mess): Tallahassee has-been and Presidential younger brother Jeb Bush is reportedly one big saddo tonight after leaving office for the last time to pick up the pieces of his former career of running disorganised crime cartels on behalf...
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