King Charles had a run in his stocking, but he couldn't find a seamstress – the kind they had in the good old days of the 19th century, possibly a three-year-old covered in soot, smoking cigars, and hacking out a lung or two – so he must do it himsel…
Balimmoral Castle, Scotland - (Rotters): His Roil Highness Prince Jeffrey Epstein was inaugurated into the Most Ancient and Noble Order of the Gutter** in a lavish royal Scottish ceremony according to investiture documents published this weekend.
Gibraltar - A police investigation into the Hellfire Club has uncovered filthy dirty stuff about royal tosspots - mostly stalwarts of the British Conservative Party - an FBI report said today. And top of the list is Lord Smarmington KG GCMG CH MC...
Windsore, Berks - Reports that she clocked a shiner in a row with Prince Philip have been hastily put down to a playful pillow fight. But the discovery of a ten pound brick inside a monogrammed cushion cover has successfully rubbished the Palace's...
London - A Kuwait government official tasered by cops for urinating on Tony Blair's doorstep has been nominated for the UK's top gong. Diplomatic Protection Racket officers blasted Ayedh Al-Rashidi, 40, with a powerful 50,000 volt shock and took h...
White House - (Ass Mess): Capitol Hill is abuzz with rumors that Queen Elizabeth is to bestow the UK's highest gallantry medal on President Bush and make him a Knight of the Order of the Garter for services to the cash-for-honors industry.
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