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Funny satire stories about northern ireland

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Funny story: Orangemen to march on treadmills

Orangemen to march on treadmills

July is marching season in Northern Ireland, when bitter frustrated men dress up gaily in orange sashes and 17th century pomp, and parade through the streets in order to annoy their neighbours. Nobody remembers how it all started, but, in 2020, it...

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Funny story: The Open 2019: Golf Returns to Northern Ireland Under Strict Security

The Open 2019: Golf Returns to Northern Ireland Under Strict Security

The Open was last played at Royal Portrush in 1951 and hasn't returned for 68 years, due to a little disagreement which so-called Loyalist and Republican locals quaintly call "The Troubles", but which were, in fact, a rampant killing spree between tw...

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Funny story: Avoid Hard Border By Bringing It Inland says Rees-Mog

Avoid Hard Border By Bringing It Inland says Rees-Mog

With Brexit now only six months away and the Irish border question still unresolved, the Jacob Rees-Mog mob have came up with a cunning plan to address it. The minister for the 18th Century is leading an absolutely vital think tank called The Eu...

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Funny story: May may have to hang if she meets DUP's demands!

May may have to hang if she meets DUP's demands!

The world is still in shock after last week's election results in the UK (The World meaning UK's pea minded vision that Brittania still rules the waves). Now Mrs May needs to lunge into bed with the DUP, a Northern Irish party of jurassics. Of cours...

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Funny story: Migrant to Northern Ireland Laments his Choice

Migrant to Northern Ireland Laments his Choice

Migrant to Belfast, Shan Mahnoor speaks out. "I cannot understand the politics of this country. Sinn Fein rule... They are the bloody Mafia... Has nobody here heard of Adolf Hitler? Even beggars in the streets of Calcutta know of Adolf Hitler... but here they have their rights taken off them,... off them I say!... and they do not even notice... and not a word about it in their newspapers.

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Funny story: Northern Irish Politician Resigns with a Vengeance

Northern Irish Politician Resigns with a Vengeance

One of Northern Ireland's leading spokesmen, Belfast SDLP Councillor Finbar Fury last night confessed all after his sacking as Director of the Northern Ireland Arts Council. ' In an interview with UR-FUKD magazine at the Europa Hotel in Belfast,...

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Funny story: No Walking Stick After Six

No Walking Stick After Six

The following story is based on real events, some of the names have been changed and changed back in order to confuse you of their identity. No elderly people were harmed in the telling of this story. Frail. Feeble. A stark contrast from their buoyant youth. Their bodies since rejected them. The inspector again signing off on their case. This wasn't living. It was simply existing. Betty had bat...

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Funny story: Musical differences inflame Northern Ireland

Musical differences inflame Northern Ireland

Musical differences are at the heart of a new row brewing in Northern Ireland, with tension mounting daily. "Loyalists were playing some Iron Maiden numbers outside Catholic churches," said Michael Lansdale, who heads the Sectarian Violence Divisi...

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Funny story: Irish Republican Army Mortally Wounded By Change In Electoral Law

Irish Republican Army Mortally Wounded By Change In Electoral Law

Ireland's peak terrorist organisation, the Irish Republican Army, has been severely damaged by recent changes in the country's electoral laws. The Irish parliament, this week, passed an amendment to electoral laws, removing state funding from poli...

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Funny story: Queen - McGuinness Handshake Rehearsal Fiasco

Queen - McGuinness Handshake Rehearsal Fiasco

As the world watched Belfast today in anticipation of an historical handshake, details emerged of unsavoury scenes during preparations for the event. During Her Majesty's Jubilee visit to Northern Ireland she was expected to shake hands with Deput...

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Funny story: Northern Ireland FA to investigate appointment of 'wrong manager'

Northern Ireland FA to investigate appointment of 'wrong manager'

Northern Irish football was thrown into scandal last night after it turned out they might just possibly have accidentally appointed the wrong M.O'Neil as manager. Michael O'Neill was given the job on December 28th 2011, the week between Christmas...

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Funny story: Legendary Dead Footballer To Play Again?

Legendary Dead Footballer To Play Again?

Former Manchester United and Northern Ireland star, George Worst, stunned the football world yesterday after announcing he plans to come back from the dead and return to professional football. Mr Worst, dead, from the Heaven area, spoke to us from...

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Funny story: Cryhan Air build the world's biggest plane

Cryhan Air build the world's biggest plane

Cryhan Air, the budget airline based in Ireland, have commissioned the world's largest aircraft. "People thought that the 777 was the biggest plane around," said Ryan Chair, CEO of Cryhan Air. "No longer. We've commissioned the 881, which will be...

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Funny story: Alien can 'host' the Queen if IRA bastard becomes Prez

Alien can 'host' the Queen if IRA bastard becomes Prez

Belfast - Born again IRA bastard Martin McGuinness is in a secret coalition deal to encourage an extraterrestrial lookalike to 'host' Queen Elizabeth when the current incumbent finally pops her clogs. The solution means the feckless Provo Queen ca...

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Funny story: Rory McIlroy Dedicates US Open Victory To Jim McDonald

Rory McIlroy Dedicates US Open Victory To Jim McDonald

Northern Ireland's Rory McIlroy last night joined the upper echelons of the world's golfing elite, with a record breaking 72 hole US Open score of 16 under par. 22 year old McIlroy had a couple of scares when he bogeyed the 12th and the 16th, but...

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Funny story: Rory McIlroy 'A Bag Of Nerves' Ahead Of US Open Final Round

Rory McIlroy 'A Bag Of Nerves' Ahead Of US Open Final Round

Rory McIlroy, the brilliant young Northern Irish golfer, appears to have the US Open Championship in the bag, going into the final round of the prestigious Major at Maryland's Congressional Country Club with an eight shot lead and fourteen under par.

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Funny story: Northern Ireland Government to import dried water

Northern Ireland Government to import dried water

The government of Northern Ireland is to overcome the water shortages by importing sachets of dried water from Russia. The dried water was developed by the Russians in 1986,to overcome a lack of drinking water in an area the size of Wales,followin...

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