The President of the United States had quite an interesting announcement earlier today. Sitting behind the desk in the Oval Office, President Joe Biden announced a new platform for his administration and the Democratic Party as a whole: Republicanism…
The Geoff Party have claimed victory in the Northern Irish elections, saying that they will now take both seats in the Belfast assembly. Geoff Party leader Geoff Bum said that he was extremely proud of what his party had achieved and that Curly-Wurli…
The people of Northern Ireland have been stuffed again. From the end of June there will be a ban on British sausages being imported there. Thanks to Boris Johnson's Northern Ireland protocol, there is now a customs borders down the Irish Sea separ…
July is marching season in Northern Ireland, when bitter frustrated men dress up gaily in orange sashes and 17th century pomp, and parade through the streets in order to annoy their neighbours. Nobody remembers how it all started, but, in 2020, it...
The Open was last played at Royal Portrush in 1951 and hasn't returned for 68 years, due to a little disagreement which so-called Loyalist and Republican locals quaintly call "The Troubles", but which were, in fact, a rampant killing spree between tw...
With Brexit now only six months away and the Irish border question still unresolved, the Jacob Rees-Mog mob have came up with a cunning plan to address it. The minister for the 18th Century is leading an absolutely vital think tank called The Eu...
The world is still in shock after last week's election results in the UK (The World meaning UK's pea minded vision that Brittania still rules the waves). Now Mrs May needs to lunge into bed with the DUP, a Northern Irish party of jurassics. Of cours...
Migrant to Belfast, Shan Mahnoor speaks out. "I cannot understand the politics of this country. Sinn Fein rule... They are the bloody Mafia... Has nobody here heard of Adolf Hitler? Even beggars in the streets of Calcutta know of Adolf Hitler... but here they have their rights taken off them,... off them I say!... and they do not even notice... and not a word about it in their newspapers.
One of Northern Ireland's leading spokesmen, Belfast SDLP Councillor Finbar Fury last night confessed all after his sacking as Director of the Northern Ireland Arts Council. ' In an interview with UR-FUKD magazine at the Europa Hotel in Belfast,...
The following story is based on real events, some of the names have been changed and changed back in order to confuse you of their identity. No elderly people were harmed in the telling of this story. Frail. Feeble. A stark contrast from their buoyant youth. Their bodies since rejected them. The inspector again signing off on their case. This wasn't living. It was simply existing. Betty had bat...
Musical differences are at the heart of a new row brewing in Northern Ireland, with tension mounting daily. "Loyalists were playing some Iron Maiden numbers outside Catholic churches," said Michael Lansdale, who heads the Sectarian Violence Divisi...
Ireland's peak terrorist organisation, the Irish Republican Army, has been severely damaged by recent changes in the country's electoral laws. The Irish parliament, this week, passed an amendment to electoral laws, removing state funding from poli...
As the world watched Belfast today in anticipation of an historical handshake, details emerged of unsavoury scenes during preparations for the event. During Her Majesty's Jubilee visit to Northern Ireland she was expected to shake hands with Deput...
Northern Irish football was thrown into scandal last night after it turned out they might just possibly have accidentally appointed the wrong M.O'Neil as manager. Michael O'Neill was given the job on December 28th 2011, the week between Christmas...
Former Manchester United and Northern Ireland star, George Worst, stunned the football world yesterday after announcing he plans to come back from the dead and return to professional football. Mr Worst, dead, from the Heaven area, spoke to us from...
Cryhan Air, the budget airline based in Ireland, have commissioned the world's largest aircraft. "People thought that the 777 was the biggest plane around," said Ryan Chair, CEO of Cryhan Air. "No longer. We've commissioned the 881, which will be...
Belfast - Born again IRA bastard Martin McGuinness is in a secret coalition deal to encourage an extraterrestrial lookalike to 'host' Queen Elizabeth when the current incumbent finally pops her clogs. The solution means the feckless Provo Queen ca...
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