WELLINGTON, New Zealand - (Satire News) - After several attempts the down under country of New Zealand has finally voted to change its name. President Jacinda "You Go Girl" Arden, the president of New Zealand, said that after talking about it for…
There are more cows and sheep than people in New Zealand. And those animals (not the people) have been getting a free ride for too long. Get ready for the ass tax! Greenhouse gas emission, especially methane, from the assholes of cows and the b…
Relationships between the U.S. and New Zealand are at an all-time low. This should have been obvious to me when I got on the plane for New Zealand and the stewardesses performed the 'haka' ( an aggressive, pre-battle Moari war dance) when any America…
The response given by the England rugby team to the Haka performed by their New Zealand opponents before the two teams' World Cup semi-final match in Yokohama on Sunday has drawn much attention on social media, where a video has been viewed more than...
Taking a leaf out of the book The Absolute Bull of New Zealand: How to Get Away with Pure 96.5% Murder, the police, the armed-offenders squad and the country’s Drone Air Force hit their target in a pre-dawn raid on a quiet suburban nook of Auckland.
A New Zealand fisherman caught an 18-month-old baby boy while fishing off the coast of North Island. “I was expecting bass,” Gus “The Guzzler” H____ (name withheld to protect us from possible unpleasantness associated with reporting the news) sai...
In the next legal move to thwart the New Zealand Mainland Annexation Parties (NZMAP) invasion Malcolm WhatsHisName was planning to run a referendum on whether the invasion was appropriate or not. They could then use this in their high court case aga...
After the declaration by New Zealand of a hostile takeover, Australian authorities are taking up a desperate fight to save their sovereignty, though bizarrely using the domestic legal system. Foreign Minister strongly condemns invasion as uncalled f...
After years of planting double agent sleepers in the Australian government, the plans to invade appear to have succeeded. With now 69 parliamentarians and senators being exposed has having dual Australian and New Zealand citizenship, they are maki...
Australian Minister for Foreign Affairs, Julie Bishop, has announced that the Australian government plans to introduce a Gay Apartheid policy at Christmas. A senior minister in the ruling Liberal-Nazis-And-Trickle-Down-Christian-Pedophiles-And-Wife-B...
Sources claim that Australia is to be "moved" so that it can align with a global set of satellites thus making it easier for the government to track our movements via your GPS. Back and to the Left news understands that the plans to move Australi...
In order to answer this simple question our magazine "Conned Weekly" contacted Lord Hiram Abiff Cook of the British Foreign Office London who candidly answered unaware that we had recorded the conversation. Here is what he said: Well, old sport...
New Zealand Prime Minister John Key announced today that he intends to adopt "a full frontal position", and sport a merkin. On the heels of the Scottish bid for independence, and riding the wave of referendum, Key sees changing the national flag...
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un was recently offended at a remark that a reporter from New Zealand TV had made where he stated that he needed to lose about 45 pounds. So in order to show his disfavor the North Korean leader decided to fire on...
AUKLAND, New Zealand (ABSNN) - Air New Zealand aired a new "ballsy" ad featuring Belarusian Olympian Nadzeya Ostapchuk who won the London Games' shot-put competition, but was forced to surrender her Gold Medal when she failed a drug test. "The ad ca...
WELLINGTON, New Zealand (ABSNN) - A court in this New Zealand city ruled today that "this country is a Horseshit Free Zone." The ruling came on the heels of the arrest of an anti-monarchist, Sam Bracanov, a seventy-six year old man who made it c...
The double island nation of New Zealand is taking the bold step of making both islands national parks and taking the world's species to roam free in one giant zoo. "New Zealand has a vast range of habitats," said tourism minister, Hacker McClacker...
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