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Funny story: Drug Company Introduces Roundup-Ready Aspirin

Drug Company Introduces Roundup-Ready Aspirin

Appealing to gardeners and parents alike, an international drug company recently introduced its new "Roundup-ready" baby aspirin, which will not only reduce the risk of clot-related strokes in those who take it, but will also provide protection again...

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Funny story: Monsanto’s First-Ever Genetically Modified Man Proves a Hit with Ladies

Monsanto’s First-Ever Genetically Modified Man Proves a Hit with Ladies

The jury is in: Monsanto’s first-ever genetically modified human, who/which was first launched in 2016, and is the only living adult male officially certified to be Roundup-ready, has proven to be a solid hit with the ladies! Monsanto first concei...

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Funny story: Grass Is Greener When It's Genetically Modified, Says Monsanto

Grass Is Greener When It's Genetically Modified, Says Monsanto

According to global modern agricultural giant Monsanto Company, the grass is greener not on the other side, but when it's genetically modified - or so the company hopes. “It's wrong that people sometimes are forced to golf on browning blades of gr...

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Funny story: The Singularity Is HERE! Monsanto Produces First Genetically Modified Human - Who/Which Bears Remarkable Resemblance to Average American Male

The Singularity Is HERE! Monsanto Produces First Genetically Modified Human - Who/Which Bears Remarkable Resemblance to Average American Male

Scientists everywhere agree that technology is progressing at an exponential rate and that, ultimately, biology and technology will fully and irrevocably merge - a phenomenon many have termed the "singularity." What's been hotly debated, however, is...

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Funny story: New Board Game called "BANKER" Sweeping the World

New Board Game called "BANKER" Sweeping the World

The object of the game is to fleece as many people as possible in the shortest possible time, build a dynasty and get to die in your bed before you are assassinated. Although you may be responsible for thousands if not millions of deaths you cannot personally kill anybody. If your dice throws run against you whereupon you must kill your adversary by your own hand you lose the game. "Lifetime Po...

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Funny story: Monsanto: 'Chips' With That... Anyone?

Monsanto: 'Chips' With That... Anyone?

MONSANTO- responsible for Agent Orange, a deadly range of organ-damaging pesticides and genetically modified crops resulting in thousands of people crippled or killed by their products and the suicides of thousands of farmers worldwide (most in the p...

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Funny story: Monsanto Seeks to Genetically Modify Food Labeling Laws

Monsanto Seeks to Genetically Modify Food Labeling Laws

Food industry giant Monsanto has announced that it will seek to genetically modify proposed food labeling laws so as to make them better able to withstand the powerful Monsanto-produced insecticide Roundup. In recent years, Monsanto has expended...

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Funny story: Herbivore Assessment Program Makes Vegans Feel Like Shit

Herbivore Assessment Program Makes Vegans Feel Like Shit

Have you ever met one of those annoying, self-righteous vegans who obviously considers himself morally superior to all other humans on the planet? If so, you might be encouraged to learn that the recently established Herbivore Assessment & Rating Program (HARP) is working to take those self-important vegans down a notch - by assessing precisely how "vegan" they really are. In calculating a...

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Funny story: Dollars or Pounds? Study Shows Weight Proportional to Dollars Spent on Fitness

Dollars or Pounds? Study Shows Weight Proportional to Dollars Spent on Fitness

The fitness industry is a huge marketplace, drawing countless Americans - a full two-thirds of whom are overweight - into spending billions of dollars annually in the hopes of becoming healthier, fitter, or simply less fat. Unfortunately for health-h...

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Funny story: Monsanto mount UK assault

Monsanto mount UK assault

Mr Frank Enstein, British born managing director of the Monsanto Corporation is to given a knighthood, sponsored by his very good friend David Cameron. In return for this prestigious honour he has promised to make all UK citizens life members of the...

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Funny story: Factory-Farming Advocacy Group Struggles With Name Messaging: "Killing Over Compassion" Shot Down in Polls

Factory-Farming Advocacy Group Struggles With Name Messaging: "Killing Over Compassion" Shot Down in Polls

A newly launched non-profit organization established to advocate on behalf of animal farmers and confined animal feeding operations (CAFOs) encountered a bit of glitch in its inception: what to call itself that wouldn't immediately turn off consumers...

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Funny story: American Corporation Expresses Thanksgiving Gratitude for "Citizens United"

American Corporation Expresses Thanksgiving Gratitude for "Citizens United"

"Before Citizens United," mused patriotic, all-American (outsourcing aside) corporation Corp. Inc., "I didn't have a great sense of who I really was. I didn't want to be all business, all the time. Now I don't have to be. I'm a person." A little b...

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Funny story: Mutant Crabgrass Threatens Corn Crop

Mutant Crabgrass Threatens Corn Crop

Special to Spoof - Farmers in the Midwest have been plagued by a mutant strain of crabgrass that threatens to reduce the annual corn harvest by 50 percent or more in coming years. The species, Digitaria sanguinalis, is found throughout the world.

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Funny story: Monsanto Announces Accidental Cross Breeding of Boll Weevil and Chiggers.

Monsanto Announces Accidental Cross Breeding of Boll Weevil and Chiggers.

In a surprise announcement, Monsanto admitted what many have suspected for some time, that their genetically modified crop program is out of control. But unlike the usual complaints of ruined crops and dead farm animals, these complaints involved pe...

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