Fish eating lovers may soon be treated to a delicatesse version of their favourite meal! A new breed of salmon is being cultivated on US farms where genetic manipulation has allowed the fish to survive without water! The fish in question, North A…
Appealing to gardeners and parents alike, an international drug company recently introduced its new "Roundup-ready" baby aspirin, which will not only reduce the risk of clot-related strokes in those who take it, but will also provide protection again...
The jury is in: Monsanto’s first-ever genetically modified human, who/which was first launched in 2016, and is the only living adult male officially certified to be Roundup-ready, has proven to be a solid hit with the ladies! Monsanto first concei...
According to global modern agricultural giant Monsanto Company, the grass is greener not on the other side, but when it's genetically modified - or so the company hopes. “It's wrong that people sometimes are forced to golf on browning blades of gr...
Scientists everywhere agree that technology is progressing at an exponential rate and that, ultimately, biology and technology will fully and irrevocably merge - a phenomenon many have termed the "singularity." What's been hotly debated, however, is...
The object of the game is to fleece as many people as possible in the shortest possible time, build a dynasty and get to die in your bed before you are assassinated. Although you may be responsible for thousands if not millions of deaths you cannot personally kill anybody. If your dice throws run against you whereupon you must kill your adversary by your own hand you lose the game. "Lifetime Po...
MONSANTO- responsible for Agent Orange, a deadly range of organ-damaging pesticides and genetically modified crops resulting in thousands of people crippled or killed by their products and the suicides of thousands of farmers worldwide (most in the p...
Food industry giant Monsanto has announced that it will seek to genetically modify proposed food labeling laws so as to make them better able to withstand the powerful Monsanto-produced insecticide Roundup. In recent years, Monsanto has expended...
Have you ever met one of those annoying, self-righteous vegans who obviously considers himself morally superior to all other humans on the planet? If so, you might be encouraged to learn that the recently established Herbivore Assessment & Rating Program (HARP) is working to take those self-important vegans down a notch - by assessing precisely how "vegan" they really are. In calculating a...
The fitness industry is a huge marketplace, drawing countless Americans - a full two-thirds of whom are overweight - into spending billions of dollars annually in the hopes of becoming healthier, fitter, or simply less fat. Unfortunately for health-h...
Mr Frank Enstein, British born managing director of the Monsanto Corporation is to given a knighthood, sponsored by his very good friend David Cameron. In return for this prestigious honour he has promised to make all UK citizens life members of the...
A newly launched non-profit organization established to advocate on behalf of animal farmers and confined animal feeding operations (CAFOs) encountered a bit of glitch in its inception: what to call itself that wouldn't immediately turn off consumers...
"Before Citizens United," mused patriotic, all-American (outsourcing aside) corporation Corp. Inc., "I didn't have a great sense of who I really was. I didn't want to be all business, all the time. Now I don't have to be. I'm a person." A little b...
Special to Spoof - Farmers in the Midwest have been plagued by a mutant strain of crabgrass that threatens to reduce the annual corn harvest by 50 percent or more in coming years. The species, Digitaria sanguinalis, is found throughout the world.
In a surprise announcement, Monsanto admitted what many have suspected for some time, that their genetically modified crop program is out of control. But unlike the usual complaints of ruined crops and dead farm animals, these complaints involved pe...
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