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Funny satire stories about memories

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Funny story: Man Amazed At Things He Discovered In Loft

Man Amazed At Things He Discovered In Loft

A man who was asked by his mother to go up and get something from in her loft, was amazed at some of the things he found there. Moys Kenwood, from Hull in East Yorkshire, ascended the loftladder with a degree of trepidation at what lay in wait, in...

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Funny story: Links and Bonds

Links and Bonds

My dad was a natural athlete, although golf was his Achilles Heel. He didn’t play golf, he didn’t work at golf, he subverted and corrupted golf. The only time my father ever drove anything 150+ yards straight from the tee, was when he was screaming p...

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Funny story: Scientists can implant false memories into mice, only a matter of time before men have fake memories of wild sex they never had

Scientists can implant false memories into mice, only a matter of time before men have fake memories of wild sex they never had

HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a study this week that substantiates the belief that we can implant false memories into mice. This could have far-reaching implications in terms of men and how fondly they think back to their younger days...

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Funny story: My life as a man #05

My life as a man #05

I may not be the brightest bulb on the porch, the sharpest knife in the drawer; I'm no Edison; my philosophy may not be up to Kant's; but I am not as dumb as a bag of hammers either, except when I'm drunk at 0-dark-30, and decide to call up some old gal I haven't seen since 1969, and tell her husband that she's mine and "I'm a-comin to get her!" Or worse, I cry and tell her I never stopped loving...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments for W/E: 9th September 2012

My Senior Moments for W/E: 9th September 2012

Monday 3rd September * Gawd heavens... new pains in groin today. * Went over to see the lovely Margaret. She seemed a little less tired today. Walked her home, and I invested in some Health lottery tickets... I am a fool, as if I stood a chance... huh! * No walks today, spent ages on laptop, burnt another saucepan, and dropped then stood on a tomato. * By gum life's exciting! Tuesda...

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Funny story: Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - Along Bulwell Main Street

Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - Along Bulwell Main Street

Join our guide for the day, Senior Citizen and Nottingham resident Bartholomew Utterswaite, for a walk down Along Bulwell Main Street today, comparing the same walk with that of 1963, when your guide was working on that same street. We stroll from what today is the KFC take away, at the end of Hucknall Lane along Main Street into Bulwell Market and the train and tram Station. We start off at...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-One - A Night to Remember

A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-One - A Night to Remember

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 94 - A Night to Remember The path from the guard base, to the undercover police car compound, and the awaiting swipe point, was no longer than perhaps 800 yards, there and back, at the most. It was dark as usual, 0215hrs, the broken up old fa...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Two - The Easter Parade

A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Two - The Easter Parade

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 95 - The Nottingham 9th Company Boys Brigade Band's Easter Parade I had been invited to play the drums on the Nottingham 9th Company Boys Brigade Band's Easter Parade around the Meadows area of Nottingham, and really wanted to take part. Unf...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty - The Team Building Weekend!

A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty - The Team Building Weekend!

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 93 - Off on the Company Team Building Weekend I was working at a factory in Kegworth, in the engineering stores at the time. We were getting ready to set off in the mini-buses for a relaxing ride out into the Derbyshire hills for a week-end o...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Nine

A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Nine

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 92 - The wind blew hard across the decaying graffiti'd gravestone littered cemetery.... The wind blew hard across the decaying graveyard. Creating unholy noises, and blowing up the Guards trouser legs something rotten, as he made his way acro...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Eight - The Night of the Flood

A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Eight - The Night of the Flood

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 91 - The Night of the Flood The site was well out into the sticks, and consisted of the main factory, 12 electricity substations, and 3 separate warehouses, a fish pond (really no joke!) a secondary site with 15 lorries, offices, a fuelling po...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Seven - Stanley Matthews or Jonah?

A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Seven - Stanley Matthews or Jonah?

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 91 - Stanley Matthews, or Jonah? It was on a very heavy muddy wet playing field come pitch, come quagmire on Melbourne Road Park, that I made my first (and only) appearance in the Nottingham Thursday Football League, for the Nottingham Co-op S...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Six

A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Six

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 89 - A dark, dank, overcast night... It was a dark, dank, overcast night, with a roving light mist coming and going, interspersed with a get-you-soaking-wet light drizzle. I was assigned to a site that was about 14 miles out of Nottingham, in...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Five

A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Five

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 88 - After the Heart Operation My first memory, was of the pain, and all the paraphernalia sticking into and out of seemingly all of my crevices. Slowly it dawned on me where I was, and what had taken place. I could not make out much detai...

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Funny story: My Beloved Griselda - Part Five - 'The Highlight of her visit'

My Beloved Griselda - Part Five - 'The Highlight of her visit'

My association with Griselda, was without doubt, the most physically satisfying and passion filled period of my sad life, and I still miss the chemistry of our entwined bodies in complete and utter ecstasy and pleasurable pain. My delight in her ability to lift me up, turn me over, and carry me around the room while tasting my foibles will remain with me forever. The Highlight of her visit G...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Four - The Inspector Calls!

A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Four - The Inspector Calls!

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 87 - The Inspector Calls Well.. he was expected to! The manager of the Tesco I was working at in Nottingham on what was then called Granby Street, but later became Maid Marion Way, informed me that the new Area Inspector (of Tesco stores) Mr P...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 19th February 2012

My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 19th February 2012

Selected Senior Moments suffered by a Nottingham Senior Citizen. In the hopes of raising a laugh at them, and making them easier to live with. Sunday 12th February: * Woke up, went into kitchen and thought 'That's nice, it's not so cold this morning'. I'd left the oven on all night! * Made a cuppa, then put the tea bags in the fridge and left the milk out? * Put me Impetigo cream on me lesi...

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