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Funny satire stories about martial arts

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Funny story: A Day in the Life of Juke Dagger MMA Fighter

A Day in the Life of Juke Dagger MMA Fighter

The life of an MMA fighter is less than glamorous. It's a shitty uphill battle, kicking, punching, and strangling my way to the top. My trainer gives me a wake-up call at 4:30am by yelling at me through a bullhorn in the doorway of my bedroom. If...

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Funny story: Conor McGregor Has Holes In The Knees Of His Jim-Jams

Conor McGregor Has Holes In The Knees Of His Jim-Jams

Conor McGregor, the former UFC featherweight and lightweight champion, has a secret that he probably doesn't want you to know, but which we're going to tell you about anyway - the Irishman has holes in both knees of his pyjama trousers. McGregor,...

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Funny story: Bruce Lee Film Featured Villain Who Was Double Of 'World Of Sport' Dickie Davies

Bruce Lee Film Featured Villain Who Was Double Of 'World Of Sport' Dickie Davies

A TV viewer in Southeast Asia has reported an incident in which, during a movie he was watching, starring martial arts expert, Bruce Lee, he became aware of the presence of a villain in the film, who bore an uncanny likeness to the former 'World of S...

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Funny story: Conor McGregor Has Chips Every Night For His Tea

Conor McGregor Has Chips Every Night For His Tea

Conor McGregor, the former UFC featherweight and lightweight champion has allegedly told members of a panel in an interview that he loves chips, and has them every night for his tea. McGregor, 30, was appearing before the Mohegan Tribe Department...

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Funny story: Conor McGregor Banned From Fighting After Potatoes Found Growing Out Of His Ears

Conor McGregor Banned From Fighting After Potatoes Found Growing Out Of His Ears

Conor McGregor, the former UFC featherweight and lightweight champion, has been suspended from all forms of fighting after potatoes were found growing in his lugoyles. McGregor, 30, the mixed martial artist, who is never far from controversy, was...

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Funny story: Who is, or was, the greatest martial artist in history?

Who is, or was, the greatest martial artist in history?

I only got to the rank of 2nd degree black belt in Chinese & American Kenpo, so I am certainly no expert. I earned all my higher belts at American Karate Studios in Northeastern Ohio, and was a competitor on the PKC circuit for over a decade an...

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Funny story: European Union to close down martial arts

European Union to close down martial arts

All forms of martial arts including Karate, Kung-Fu, Jiu-Jitsu and Judo to be banned across Europe because of the violent influence on children in Europe. These sports encourage violence and enrages children to fight each other. The European Union ca...

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Funny story: Brown staff to learn martial arts skills

Brown staff to learn martial arts skills

Staff at 10 Downing Street are to take classes in the martial art Krav Maga to protect themselves from an increasingly violent and embittered prime minister. One senior aide was taken to hospital with a crushed laryrx yesterday after Brown finger...

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Funny story: Scooby Doo opening a New Martial Arts School

Scooby Doo opening a New Martial Arts School

The TV and movie legend, Scooby Doo, known for his portrayal of a cowardly crime solving dog, is taking a little time off from performing to engage in his other love: Tae Kwon Do Moo Duk Kwan. Scooby's new school will actually be a blending of tra...

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Funny story: Does A Rope Make It Better? Was It Worth It For Carradine, Hutchence And Milligan?

Does A Rope Make It Better? Was It Worth It For Carradine, Hutchence And Milligan?

Meeting in London today, the world masturbation council held a minute's silence for actor David Carradine, who is believed to have perished in a masturbatory incident gone wrong, after his body was discovered in a Bangkok hotel wardrobe with a strate...

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Funny story: 'Kung Fu' Star Dies Practicing 'Forbidden Mantis' Technique

'Kung Fu' Star Dies Practicing 'Forbidden Mantis' Technique

HOLLYWOOD, CA - American actor Billy Killadeen was found dead in his hotel room in Bangkok, Thailand today according to a report by Thai police. Though his career as an actor began in the mid-60's, Killadeen became popular in the 70's for his wo...

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Funny story: China judokas 'faked their rage'

China judokas 'faked their rage'

WONGDONG, China - Bone-aspartame tests on judokas in south China have shown that thousands had faked their rage, often in order to keep competing in judo events. Tests on nearly 13,000 judokas found that more than 3,000 were nicer than their appar...

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Funny story: Coward Invents Martial Art

Coward Invents Martial Art

The world's biggest coward, Arthur Feartie, has invented a new martial art. The new form of self defence, called No Kan Do, is claimed to be superior to older, established eastern methods such as karate, judo and kung fu and western methods such as...

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Funny story: Putin Pulls Out; Says Okey Dokey to his army's turnaround - because that's what it's all about

Putin Pulls Out; Says Okey Dokey to his army's turnaround - because that's what it's all about

Russian President, Vladimir Putin, has agreed to pull his troops completely out of Georgia under increased pressure from the West. In a televised announcement, he admitted that the whole thing had been a stunt to highlight his new martial arts DVD...

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Funny story: Seagal Requesting his Name be Removed From List of Banned Deadly Weapons

Seagal Requesting his Name be Removed From List of Banned Deadly Weapons

NEW YORK, NY - Steven Seagal met with a number of foreign diplomats at the United Nations headquarters Monday, requesting the removal of his name from a list of controversial weapons facing a ban by international treaty.

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Funny story: Lou Reed claims Tai Chi is Bee's Knees

Lou Reed claims Tai Chi is Bee's Knees

LONDON - Lou Reed's latest work, entitled 'Hudson River Wingless Migration', is his first recording of ambient meditation music. Although he has been practicing Tai Chi and clean living for many years, only recently has he been able to r...

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Funny story: Military's new ninja school draws protests

Military's new ninja school draws protests

The State Department's new Martial Arts Campus located near Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University has come under fire from activists who claim they're training people to murder.

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