After months of waiting, starving and going insane watching repeats of Eastenders, at last the English Premier League kicks into action once again! Lineker has followed the bucks, which has left the Beeb having to search for a new sonny boy. T...
With the transfer market offcially open a sensational transfer has just hit the headlines in the UK, Balotelli joins United! Transfers between the arch rivals are very seldom and only an ancient Irish defender, Noel Cantwell, ever ventured between...
With all the fuss surrounding Luis Suarez and his biting of the one defender in the Italy team who looks like he could kill a bear with his bare hands, we decided to review the situation. We also decided that no matter how much we could beef up this...
After being involved in Man City's dreadful exhibition of anti-football played by a bunch of multi-millionaire cheats, Signor Balotelli, innocently, was booed off of the Dortmund pitch by 86000 laughing, happy Germans (unusual occurrence; apart from...
Manchester has been voted England's "sexiest" city in a poll conducted by someone with way too much time on their hands. Back and to the Lefts hometown of Hull didn't even make the top twenty, which is a shame. Syphilis first cases in England were di...
Roberto Mancini has ordered rival managers to stop talking about the amount of money he is spending. "I will not have these baseless accusations thrown at me and my club. We are spending well within our means...." Yeah, if you were a small oil...
Robin Van Persie was injured last night playing for Holland and as the news slowly reached the Mancunian regions (Red light District not blue movie area) several hundred United fans were seen heading for the local, fog ridden (that was written by Aga...
Talksport Alan Pardew insists he is doing everything he can to keep striker Demba Ba, 27, at Newcastle I find handcuffs work best. Daily Mail Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey, 21, admits he and his team-mates have no idea how the situation with striker Robin van Persie will pan out. Have you thought about seeing a clairvoyant? Liverpool are understood to have had a bid rejected for 25-yea...
Manchester Evening News Manchester City defender Pablo Zabaleta says controversial team-mate Mario Balotelli can become one of the best players in the world if he starts using his brain more. What brain - The one in his penis? Liverpool Echo New Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers has no intention of selling Welsh forward Craig Bellamy. Instead, he's going to swap him for half a dozen tracksui...
Euro 2012 draws to a close on Sunday with a final between defending champions Spain and Italy. Spain scraped past Portugal in the semi-final on penalties, while Italy upset the form book beating Germany with two goals from Mario Balotelli. Now, w...
Infamous Italian substitute and general outrageous loud-mouth, Mario Balotelli (who?), proved last night that his gigantic mouth is bigger than his huge boots. After receiving 15 minutes of play from the Italian coach, he managed to swing his boot...
It is now official, Italian soccer star, Mario Balotelli, who does nothing apart from sitting on the bench when others are winning titles, chasing porno / striptease stars in front of the paparazzii and flashing his mega-bucks all over Manchester, am...
Manchester City striker, Carlos Tevez, has claimed the highly coverted 'Idiot of the year' award at this years glittering PFA awards ceremony. Tevez, who was the clear favourite with bookmakers, had tears in his eyes as he collected the award. Spe...
It looks like it's finally 'game over' for Super Mario Balotelli, following his disgraceful and petulant red carded display at the Emirates during Manchester City's Premiership aspiration destroying defeat. Informed speculators have apparently con...
The football world's greatest car crash player "Super" Mario Balotelli has a new rival for his throne of "Pratt in chief of the Premier League". His best friend Luigi Falcone is in talks to sign for hated rivals Manchester United. Luigi 21 said:...
Beleaguered Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini has admitted that contrary to popular belief, wayward striker Mario Baletolli is not his son. 'I do not know who started this rumour' said Mancini 'but I can confirm that although I know his mother...
Controversial (understatement) Italian footy star, Mario Balotelli, has decided to remain anonymous whilst up to his rather naughty antics around the Manchester area. He claims the publicity is just too much when he's acting like a moron; albeit, he'...
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