LA BREA, California – (Satire News) – Former "Cheers" star Kirstie Alley has infuriated the Hollywood celebrity community by bragging that she is going to vote for President Trump. The 69-year-old overweight ex-actress said that she likes the Pres…
Pyongyang, North Korea Roly-Poly Dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong Un, who admitted he has been having problems with gout, an affliction usually associated with eating lots of rich foods, challenged Scamatologist Kirstie Alley to an eating contest.
NEW YORK CITY - Rihanna was in the Big Apple visiting one of her childhood friends when she was asked about her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown. Her expression changed from one of happiness and contentment to one of bitterness and anger. She said that...
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kirstie Alley recently told the supermarket tabloid Just Saying that she hardly ever goes anywhere anymore. She confessed that she knows she's quite overweight and doesn't want to have to bother with getting in and out of automob...
HOLLYWOOD - Kirstie Alley made an appearance on The Gorgeous Gary Busey Show. She was asked about her Cheers days. Alley replied that she liked those times except for all of the sitting around between takes. She said that as a result of all of...
We tried to get close to her but there were so many cameramen present that we finally pushed ours forward to get some shots. Finally I yelled, "You look great! You look sexy!" She was all smiles and maybe that's why she gave me a few words on h...
Hollywood, CA In news that will take no one by surprise, cultie Kirstie Alley has announced that she is no longer going to try to fake not being fat. In embracing her fatness, Ms. Alley is joining the International Federation of Competitive Eating i...
Hollywood, CA. John Travolta was promised at least $8 million dollars from the Kickstarter website, organized by John Travolta's fans to NOT make Battlefield Earth II as originally threatened. One million of the dollars came from the first movi...
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un had hinted a few days ago that he was getting ready to fire a missile towards Japan. He had said that Japan had angered him when one of their high ranking officials had stated at The Sochi Olympics that the Nor...
BEVERLY HILLS - Actress Kirstie Alley recently appeared on The View and she told Barbara Walters that she hardly ever gets any movie scripts anymore. She noted that the last script she got was for a Portuguese film about an ex-matador who goes to...
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Local authorities are investigating one of the biggest sinkholes in the history of LaLaLand. Officer Teddy Buffovich, 24, with the Hollywood Hills Police Department stated that overweight actress Kirstie Alley was home alone when...
HOLLYWOOD - Kirstie Alley has commented that she honestly cannot remember ever being as happy as she is now. The overweight star of Cheers has just announced that she is now the proud owner of 10,000 shares of McDonald's stock. Kirstie purchase...
Clearwater, FL Kirstie Alley today challenged Leah Remini to a Secret Sacred Scientology Duel. Even though Ms. Remini has quit the church, she does not want to be called a chicken by Ms. Alley and has consented to the duel. Details about the Secr...
BURLINGTON, Vermont - Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream has just celebrated its 35th anniversary and sales are booming. Owners Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, known as the Ice Cream Kidz, recently provided 6,000 pints of ice cream to a PETA convention i...
NEW YORK CITY - Rihanna was in the Big Apple to make appearances on Live With Kelly and Michael, Late Night With David Letterman, and The Viagra View. She was asked by a reporter with The Right Coast Revue if she has gotten over her ex-boyfriend C...
LOS ANGELES - Noted California attorney Ginger Allred has been hired by Kirstie Alley and Wynonna Judd. The two celebrities have expressed a desire to purchase the national pizza chain Pizza Hut. Ms. Allred has said that she is presently in the...
TARZANA, California - Word coming out of the Left Coast Rumor Mills is that Kirstie Alley may end up finding herself churchless. According to reports from an inside source who spoke on grounds of anonymity, the Church of The Scientific Method is v...
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