Scientists in the High Plains of America have discovered that the human family tree has many more branches and tangles than previously thought. DNA analysis from a group of humans heavier than Robustus, stouter than Australopithecus,-- and with more...
50,000 BC - Homo Sapiens are continuing their domination over Neanderthals this millennium as they have been over the last ten thousand years establishing a long term trend unprecedented in the Evolutionary League some would call a dynasty. Statis...
A hungry man, known only as Homo Sapiens, has been arrested after he shouted at two suspect hamburgers on an unarmed hot-dog stall somewhere in East Midlands. Police are reluctant, at this stage, to disclose any further details due to the unusual...
Pro soccer player, amateur sleuth, ex-con, the new "Mon Dieu" (Eric Cantona for non-soccer fans and people who have had their heads in the sands for the last decade) and super philosopher, Joey Barton, has admitted that his uncle is a "Homo-Sapien"!...
Archaelogical Department, University of Oxbridge: Exciting news from the usually sleepy world of archaeology, Dr Penny Horlick, a prehistoric archaeologist at the University of Oxbridge, has found a living example of prehistoric man, the australopit...
Staff for the country's hottest female singer, Justin Bieber, announced that the hideous creature that nearly broke through his security staff and touched him was a 12-year-old girl. Sources spoke to the 12-year-old's father, and learned that the...
Neanderthals mated with some modern humans after all and left their imprint in the human genome, a team of biologists has reported in the first detailed analysis of the Neanderthal genetic sequence. A degree of interbreeding between modern humans...
Amidst staggering scenes in London last night, several leading scientists claimed a break-through in science that they believe "will be sure to astound the shit out of people!" They claim that they are in possession of irrefutable evidence that po...
Archaeologists in Scotland have discovered a new subspecies of Homo Sapiens, the Bruniens. it is believed that over ten percent of Scots are of this species and that our beloved leader, Gordon 'Girdn Brun' Brown is one of them.
Hominid fossils discovered in Eastern Africa last week have shed new light on the origins of man and altered the way anthropologists perceive the timeline of human evolution.
BERKELEY, Calif. - The recent finding that Neanderthals and humans are more closely related than previously thought has anthropologists excited -- and Neanderthals perturbed.
"We are not angered by zoo monkeys or even pet monkeys, what angers us is what the homo sapiens have done to our experiment," stated Bongo, the lead scientist of a human study group. "Had we known that this version of our experimental slave would have been so destructive and self centered, we probably would have stopped breeding them a few thousand years ago," he continued. Bon...
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